Tuesday, December 31, 2013
New Year's Resolutions We Wish People Would Make
I will start off the list, but feel free to add to it via a Comment.
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Herewith, 14 New Year's Resolutions We Wish Other People Would Make -- and Keep -- for 2014 (listed in no particular order):
I resolve not to talk so loudly into my mobile phone that the guy three seats away can hear me.
I resolve to not chat on my mobile phone during movies, shows, weddings, funerals, while on the toilet, or during gynecological appointments.
I resolve not to chat on my mobile phone handset or text my friends while driving and to pay attention to the road and the drivers around me.
I resolve to play my car radio or music at a volume you can't hear three cars or even one car away.
I resolve to use my turn signal -- before making a turn.
I resolve to not drive like an a-hole and nearly run you off the road for driving at (or slightly above) the speed limit.
I resolve not to be such an a-hole (in general).
I resolve not to constantly name-check.
I resolve not to constantly brag about my kids or assume you will agree that they are the cutest/smartest/most [insert adjective here] by constantly posting sh*t about them on Facebook.
I resolve to return emails and phone calls within 24 hours.
I resolve that I will not wait until I am 15 minutes late to call or text you that I am running late.
I resolve to fact check all political statements or promises before assuming they are facts and/or mass emailing them.
I resolve not to forward spammy chain or "good luck" emails to my friends and family members.
I resolve not to make promises, commitments, or resolutions I can't keep.
Wishing everyone a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2014!