Tuesday, December 31, 2013

New Year's Resolutions We Wish People Would Make

Instead of making New Year's resolutions for ourselves this year, how about we create a list of New Year's resolutions we wish other people would make -- and keep?

I will start off the list, but feel free to add to it via a Comment.

(Note: You do not have to have a Blogger or Gmail account or a blog to leave a comment. You can check Anonymous or just leave a Name, no URL necessary.)

Herewith, 14 New Year's Resolutions We Wish Other People Would Make -- and Keep -- for 2014 (listed in no particular order):

I resolve not to talk so loudly into my mobile phone that the guy three seats away can hear me.

I resolve to not chat on my mobile phone during movies, shows, weddings, funerals, while on the toilet, or during gynecological appointments.

I resolve not to chat on my mobile phone handset or text my friends while driving and to pay attention to the road and the drivers around me.

I resolve to play my car radio or music at a volume you can't hear three cars or even one car away.

I resolve to use my turn signal -- before making a turn.

I resolve to not drive like an a-hole and nearly run you off the road for driving at (or slightly above) the speed limit.

I resolve not to be such an a-hole (in general).

I resolve not to constantly name-check.

I resolve not to constantly brag about my kids or assume you will agree that they are the cutest/smartest/most [insert adjective here] by constantly posting sh*t about them on Facebook.

I resolve to return emails and phone calls within 24 hours.

I resolve that I will not wait until I am 15 minutes late to call or text you that I am running late.

I resolve to fact check all political statements or promises before assuming they are facts and/or mass emailing them.

I resolve not to forward spammy chain or "good luck" emails to my friends and family members.

I resolve not to make promises, commitments, or resolutions I can't keep.

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2014!


caroline koeppel said...

As New Years is almost here, I try to make my resolutions refect that: 1) not everyone married Ludwig and sung their way out of Austria with 7 children in lieder hose. 2) I will never be a trophy wife. Not even the pedestal 3) there's no 3 4)no 4 either 5) screw it. I never make resolutions.6) happy to be back in touch with you and look forward to meeting you in the city as you drive in, signal left way in advance and join me for something chocolate related, or sugar coated. Best wishes for 2014!!!!!

Personal Trainer girl Putney said...

These are simply hilarious New Year's resolutions, and I imagine all very achievable!