And now a word about bras

Or rather bralettes. What we old folks used to call bras (making bra sort of a retronym, like corded phone and cloth diaper.)

Bralettes, i.e., bras without molded or padded cups or wires, are apparently all the rage. Especially at Victoria's Secret, which dominates the lingerie market (with a 61.8 percent market share -- who knew?). Which I find highly amusing.

For YEARS, all bras (or nearly all) were "bralettes." Then came underwire bras, and padded bras, and pushup bras, and sports bras, and t-shirt bras... and, finally, bralettes, aka basic bras (albeit in a variety of colors and lace).

I guess everything old is new again.

Though how many women, especially those over the age of 21 or who've had a kid, really want a bralette?

I don't know about the rest of you ladies, but as a lifelong member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, who nursed a kid for 12 months, I enjoy a little padding and pushing in my brassiere. And I bet most women feel the same way. Though, clearly, there is a market for bras without all the bells and whistles -- or wires and molding. (And I do think the front-close bralette is pretty, if not practical.)

But ladies -- and gentlemen -- let me know what you think (via the Comments). Do you prefer your brassieres to lift and shape (and supplement -- what the lord has forgotten, stuff with... foam)? Or do you fancy something that is "all you" (for better... or worse)?

Putting the ho ho hos in Christmas

Apparently, putting the Ho in Halloween was not good enough for Victoria's Secret. Now they've gone and put the ho ho hos in Christmas.

(Not that I am saying that Victoria's Secret models are hos. But they are going to freeze their tuchuses off dressed in those skimpy outfits at the North Pole. Just saying.)


Also, my suggestion re next year's Victoria's Secret Christmas video? Less singing, more cleavage.

Moving right along....

While I understand Victoria's Secret is an "intimate apparel" company and that sex sells, selling sex for Christmas just seems, I don't know, wrong. (I don't know about all of you, but I do not want to envision mommy French kissing Santa Claus.)

Call me an old fart but it used to be if you were naughty, you got a lump of coal, or nothing. Now if you're naughty, you get lingerie from Victoria's Secret.

Though, seriously, who buys panties that say "WHERE'S MY GIFT?"

THE SCENE: The boudoir
GAL (dressed only in her new Victoria's Secret "WHERE'S MY GIFT?" panties): "You like?"
GUY: "Where's my gift? I've got your 'gift' right here, sweetheart."

(See, this is the reason I don't write romance novels, people.)

Hoping you've been nice this year....

Turning tricks for treats

Alternate title: Victoria's Secret: Putting the Ho in Halloween

It (somewhat) saddens me to say that one of the all-time most viewed posts on J-TWO-O is the one titled "You can't spell Halloween without Ho," about the sexification (which, technically, is not a word... yet) of Halloween and, more specifically, Victoria's Secret Halloween costumes.

While I would like to think it was my sparkling writing and wit that made the post so popular, I believe it has more to do with my screen capture of Victoria's Secret Halloween costumes. Indeed, if you Google "Victoria's Secret Halloween" or "Victoria's Secret Halloween costumes" and look under Images on the first page, my image of Victoria's Secret Halloween costumes appears right in the first row, and is ranked higher than anything on the Victoria's Secret site. (Sniff. I am so proud.)

Of course, that image is two years old, a lifetime in fashion. So, as a service to perverts and masochistic women everywhere, I decided to see what Victoria had on offer this Halloween season -- and make a new screen capture. You're welcome, world. [Click on the image to get a larger view. Then use your back button to return to the post.]

Let's see now.... So this year, it appears, Victoria's Secret is honoring our brave men and women in uniform! However, I am not sure if the Sexy Little Sailor and Sexy Little Sargeant outfits (both on sale for only $68... what, not $69?) are military issue, though I am sure they would pass inspection from Major Horndog. (God, I love blogging.)

What else... hmm... ah yes, the Sexy Little Police Officer, which comes with marabou handcuffs. Though why the Sexy Little Mobster doesn't come with a gun ("stick it up," indeed) is beyond me. I am also slightly concerned about the messages Victoria's Secret is sending via their panties. A skull and cross bones? BOO? GIMME YOUR CANDY (printed on the backside)?

Also, the whole Sexy Little French Maid thing? So cliche. (On the other hand, if Maria Shriver had worn that getup around the house, maybe Arnold would not have had sex with the actual maid.) And really, a feather duster? Whatever tickles your fancy.

As for me, I'll probably be wearing my Little Flannel Pajamas Halloween evening, which, I am happy to say, the spouse finds more than a little sexy.

You can't spell Halloween without Ho

I guess it was only a matter of time until Victoria's Secret (my nemesis) came out with a line of Halloween costumes. After all, as the folks at Victoria's Secret know, you can't spell Halloween without Ho. Though I think someone in merchandising confused "trick or treat" with "turning tricks."

Also, I'm guessing that these sexy little Halloween costumes were designed for gathering treats indoors (not out), if you catch my drift.

Sigh. Call me old fashioned, but I long for the days when Halloween meant putting on clothes (or sheets), not taking them off.

Btw, is it just me or does the Victoria's Secret Sexy Little Air Hostess (top row, second from left) look a lot like Britney Spears in "Toxic"?