If marriage was (more) like baseball

As many of my regular readers know, I am a long-time baseball fan. Specifically a New York Mets fan. (So I am used to disappointment.)

The spouse is also a Mets fan (albeit one who has been known to root for the Yankees). And we often watch Mets games together.

However, I often fall asleep before the end of Mets games. So when I wake up the next morning, one of the first things I do is turn to the spouse and ask "Did the Mets win?" Or, more often, "Did the Mets lose?"

There is also a Twitter feed called "Did the Mets lose?" for those who do not have someone sleeping next to them who watched the game. And, of course, you can always go to Mets.com to see what happened. Which is what I did this morning, which led to the following breakfast conversation:

ME: Mets won.

SPOUSE: 7-4 -- and Jon Niese [the starting pitcher] is on the disabled list.

ME: Well, I screwed up my shoulder again yesterday. Maybe you should put me on the disabled list, call up another wife from Triple A. Maybe a blonde or a redhead.

SPOUSE: (Laughing) Are we talking an inning or long relief?

This led to a (humorous) discussion, in the kitchen and then online, regarding whether or not I would be DFA'd, would go to rehab in Florida, or if I could request a trade. Which led me to think, What if marriage was (more) like baseball?

If marriage was like baseball....

* Spouses who were injured and were unable to perform their duties would be subject to going on either the 15-day or 60-day disabled list, at which time the non-injured spouse could elect to temporarily fill his or her roster spot.

* After three years of marriage, you could file for arbitration -- to get a better deal. ("How about you cook dinner three nights a week?" or "I want Thursday to be date night." or "You do the laundry [or clean or whatever] or I'm out of here.")

* After six years you could become a free agent, unless you decided to extend your (marriage) contract.

* If a spouse has been married for ten full years and in the same marriage for the last five, he or she could not be traded away without his or her consent.

Hmmm....

Amazin'

OMG. Miracles do happen.

I have been a Mets fan for as long as I can remember. I think it was around the time of the 1973 World Series, which the Mets lost to the Oakland Athletics. I remember watching that series with my dad, in his apartment, and rooting for the Mets.

After that, I would regularly watch Mets games when I hung out with my dad (my parents were divorced), and we would have putting contests during the commercials. (My father was an avid golfer, as well as an avid Mets fan.)

One of my fondest memories from my youth was my dad taking me to Shea, sitting behind the Mets dugout, and dad getting me an authentic Mets cap and ball (lost during some move, sadly) during the game. From then on, I was hooked.

All through middle school and high school, I would watch Mets games on television on listen on the radio, going to games at Shea when I could. However, when the Mets made their historic pennant run in 1986, winning over 100 games, I was attending college in London, pretty much oblivious to what was happening at home with the Mets. So you can imagine my shock, upon returning to college that fall, to be sitting in my dorm's common room, watching the Mets play in the World Series... surrounded by Red Sox fans. (As I recall, no one came to blows.)

When the Mets made their next pennant run, in 2000, I was a new mom and in the process of moving from Chicago back to the New York Metro Area and had not really followed the Mets' exploits, or baseball, in years (devoting myself to basketball and the Chicago Bulls and Northwestern football). Indeed, to this day, I still think of Mike Piazza as a Dodger, not a Met.

Eventually, though, I returned to my first love, baseball and the Mets, and began regularly watching games some time in 2006.

As a Mets fan, I am used to disappointment. Indeed, as my husband regularly tells (teases) me, my motto is "Hope for the best, expect the worst." Though I believe that applies to pretty much every Mets fan.

Indeed, as I wrote in a previous blog post, the difference between Mets fans and Yankees fans is that Yankees fans (and St. Louis Cardinals and San Francisco Giants fans) expect their team to win and are pissed off when their team loses. Mets fans expect their team to lose and are giddy when their team wins.

So you can imagine the giddiness I and Mets fans everywhere started to feel in August when the Mets, who, just a few weeks before looked like they were headed to another .500 (or worse) season, went on a winning streak -- and just over a month later won the National League East.

Now, as anyone who knows me can tell you, I am not a religious person, though I believe in God. And it was with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek when, back on April 5th, I wrote this "Mets fan's prayer" on the eve of opening day:

Our Mets team, that art in Citi Field,
Hallowed be thy game.
Thy fans will come,
If you score some runs,
At home as on the road.
Give us this season at least 87 wins.
And forgive us our pessimism,
As we forgive those pitchers who put up Ws for us.
And lead us not into last place in the NL East,
but deliver us unto the playoffs.
Amen.

Apparently, the Lord heard me -- and one-upped me. Proof that miracles still happen. (Sorry Chicago Cubs fans. You will have to wait a bit longer for yours.)

I know that a lot of you don't care about sports, or the Mets, and I get it. I do. There are a lot more important things going on in the world than baseball and the World Series. But in a world and a time filled with so much bad news and suffering (again, my apologies, Cubs fans), the 2015 Mets are a feel-good story. And right now, at this moment, I am feeling good.

Let's go Mets! #yagottabelieve

The difference between Mets fans & Yankees fans

The spouse and I are off to see the New York Mets play the Washington Nationals (aka the Nats) today at Citi Field. I bought the tickets a couple weeks ago, when the Mets were on what became an 11-game winning streak. (Though I probably would have purchased tickets anyway.)

What a difference a week makes.

At 16-9, the Mets are still well over .500, and are still in first place in the National League East. (For now.) And Matt Harvey, their pitching ace, has started the season an impressive 5 and 0 (though he doesn't look nearly as dominant as he did two years ago). So the Mets should at least win one out of five games. But that feeling of elation among Mets fans as the Mets entered Yankee Stadium last weekend has pretty much evaporated.

[I am as likely, and as often, to grumble "Do not f*ck this up, Mets!" as I am to scream "Let's go Mets!" And I have also begun thanking Jesus when the infield or a base runner doesn't make an error and/or a Met scores, which amuses the spouse to no end.*]

Sure, sure, there are plenty of Mets fans who still think this could be the year. But I would hazard that the majority of Mets fans, while hoping that the team will make it to the playoffs this year, are pretty much waiting for the team to implode, as they have done every year for nearly 10 years now.

And therein lies the difference between Mets fans and Yankees fans (and Mets fans and Nats fans and St. Louis Cardinals fans and San Francisco Giants fans).

Yankees (and Cardinals and Giants and Nats) fans expect their team to win, and are surprised and disappointed when it loses. Mets fans expect their team to lose, and are surprised and elated when it wins. 

Which is why when my daughter asked me this morning, "Are you excited about going to see the Mets?" I replied, "At least it's supposed to be a nice day. Ask me when I get home." 

UPDATED: Maybe the Mets should change their slogan from "Ya gotta believe" to "Hope for the best, expect the worst." As feared, the Mets lost to the Nats (again), 1-0, making several errors and squandering several opportunities. Sigh.

*Because we're Jewish. But then again, so was Jesus.

Play ball! A Mets fan's prayer on the eve of the 2015 MLB season

Today is Easter Sunday. It is also opening night of the 2015 Major League Baseball (MLB) season. In other words, the perfect time to contemplate (and, perhaps, celebrate?) the resurrection of the New York Mets, a team that has been crucified by fans and the press.

But now, with the second coming of pitching superstar Matt Harvey, the Mets' prospects appear to have risen, as have the hopes of long-suffering Mets fans like myself.

So as we prepare for the start of the 2015 baseball season, I offer up the following Mets Fan's Prayer. Please rise and remove your baseball caps.

Our Mets team, that art in Citi Field,
Hallowed be thy game.
Thy fans will come,
If you score some runs,
At home as on the road.
Give us this season at least 87 wins.
And forgive us our pessimism,
As we forgive those pitchers who put up Ws for us.
And lead us not into last place in the NL East,
but deliver us unto the playoffs.
Amen.

Play ball!

How you know it's almost spring

Forget that stupid groundhog. Or the unseasonable warm weather we've been having.

You know how you can tell it's almost spring? Four words: pitchers and catchers report.

[For those of you who are now scratching your heads as to what the heck I am referring to (i.e., most of my readers), I'm talking baseball.]

Ah spring training, when a young woman's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of baseball. Even if she is a Mets fan -- and the Knicks are on a hot streak.

While I am awfully fond of football, baseball was my first love -- and I seriously thought of flying to Florida to observe spring training. But it was not to be this year. Instead, I will simply blog about it.

Btw, for those of my readers, especially the international ones (hi Ange and Anon from Across the Pond!) who may be unfamiliar with baseball, here is a helpful video that explains how the game is played.



Play ball!

(And all you naysayers who say the Mets don't stand a chance of making it into the playoffs this season, that's what they said about the New York Giants.)

When the Mets beat the Yankees at Citi Field

As many of you know, I am a huge fan of the New York Mets. And this Sunday the spouse and I attended our first game of the season at Citi Field, where the Mets were hosting the Evil Empire New York Yankees.

I was a little nervous about attending the game as thunderstorms had been predicted, we were leaving our teenage daughter home alone, and the Mets had lost the previous two games to the Yankees. But fortunately my fears (on all three counts) were for naught. And despite a 90-minute rain delay (even though it wasn't raining), and being surrounded by screaming Yankees fans ("Let's go Yankees!"), the Mets ("Yankees SUCK!*") and I did just fine, though we both had our moments.

Indeed, the July 3 Yankees-Mets game at Citi Field was one of the most exciting baseball games I have ever attended, and not just because the Mets managed to win the ballgame 3-2 in the bottom of the 10th inning (though that played a large part).

I also managed to capture some rather unusual photos during the game, including...

proof that Yankees' third baseman Alex Rodriguez (aka A-Rod) walks on air (even when he strikes out)...















Here's a closeup:















(Who knew steroids -- or was it Cameron Diaz? -- could get you high?)

Mr. Met, the New York Mets' mascot, shooting up (t-shirts, that is)...















as well as a fan giving Mr. Met a big hand (literally).















And two lovebirds watching the last innings of the Mets-Yankees game:















*While I am sure Red Sox fans agree with this sentiment, the Yankees, at least in terms of the MLB standings, do not suck in the least and, in fact, are in first place in the American League East. This was merely what us poor trod upon Mets fans shouted each time those obnoxious Yankees fans shouted "Let's go Yankees!"

The joke's on Mets fans. Again.

Maybe it's appropriate that opening day for the New York Mets is on April 1st this year -- because you would have to be a fool to believe the Mets are going to make it to the World Series (and probably even the playoffs) this year, what with the Madoff scandal affecting payroll and their "ace" pitcher, Johan Santana, out for several months (if not the whole season).

But I've been a fool for the Mets -- or, as I like to say, a Metsochist -- for many years. And, heck, ya gotta believe. Maybe the Mets will surprise me this year and not only get above .500 but end the season on an upswing. To paraphrase the New York Lottery guy, all it takes is some good pitching (and hitting) and a dream.

Play ball! Or, as we Metsochists like to say, Let's go Mets!

Cliff Lee to Phillies, Mets doomed; Jets suck; totally know how this guy feels

I don't know about Hell, but the Greater New York City area is certainly freezing over -- and I ain't just referring to the weather. Rather, I am referring to the breaking news that Pitching Ace Cliff Lee has re-signed with the Phillies. WTF?! That is so unfair. I wasn't thrilled about the idea of Lee signing with the New York Yankees (which I never really thought he'd do). But the Phillies, the team that dumped Cliff Lee just the other season?! And besides, the Philadelphia Phillies already have three aces in Roy Halladay, Roy Oswalt, and Cole Hamels! That's like stacking the deck! I cry "foul"! The New York Mets are now totally SCREWED, as are every other team in the National League. Why not just give the World Series trophy to the Phillies now, why don't you? Feh.

And speaking of cold, hard realities, what is with the New York Jets (of New Jersey), who don't seem to be able to catch a ball even when it's handed to them? WTF is up with that?! It has gotten to the point where I can barely watch Jets football. Just too painful. (And the New York Giants, who now own the stat of being the team with the most picks, ain't a whole lot more fun to watch.) If I'm Rex Ryan, I'd have Offensive Coordinator Brian Shottenheimer standing out there in the Jets practice facility with a hose and/or a snow machine -- heck, on an ice-skating rink -- making his wide receivers and tight ends practice catching the dang football in the worst possible conditions until they can do it 100 times in a row.

Lastly, I just came across this short video on YouTube, whose alternate title should be "Ever Had One of Those Days?" and had to share -- as I think we can all relate to what this guy is thinking. (LOVE the shots of his face.) Note: My daughter, who just had her winter band concert (she plays the clarinet), heard the video and thought it sounded like cats being tortured. (Am happy to report her band sounds A LOT better than these guys.)



Am now off to hibernate work.

Why can't the Mets win every game?

Or at least go on another 10-game winning streak? (Those two questions, btw, are rhetorical, for those of you who were going to say or comment "Because they SUCK!")

I know many of you think the New York Mets have gone to the dogs...
































(Wonder if David Wright minds that some pooch is wearing his jersey. And yes, I left a "tip.")

And I know that many of you fair-weather Mets fans wouldn't bother to go all the way to Citi Field to watch a .500 team who has little chance of making the playoffs this year.

















But I am a Metsochist, and when someone offers me free tickets to see my beloved Mets play at Citi Field (YOU ROCK, MR. B! THANK YOU!!!), I am not about to say no. And boy am I glad I said "yes."

This afternoon Mets Pitcher Johan Santana was masterful, pitching a complete game against the Colorado Rockies -- even getting a key hit. And despite (or maybe because of) David Wright not being in the lineup (Mike Hessman played third base), the Mets went on to beat the Rockies 4-0 -- in barely 2.5 hours.

Ironically, today's game was a near duplicate of the last game the spouse and I attended at Citi Field, around this time last year, where Santana likewise pitched against the Colorado Rockies -- and likewise pitched the Mets to a shutout victory in just 2.5 hours. We even sat in the exact same section (Excelsior 330) on the third base line as last year (albeit four rows further back).

It was a GREAT day for both me and the spouse and the New York Mets (except for Mets closer Francisco Rodriguez, who spent the day locked in a holding pen at Citi Field, awaiting arraignment for assaulting his fiancee's father).

And now we are seriously thinking of going back to Citi Field Saturday night to watch them play against the Philadelphia Phillies, while the kid spends the night at her grandmother's. (Though if Jerry Manual starts Oliver Perez Saturday, all bets are off.)

Here's hoping you had a great day! And remember, kids: Only four more weeks until football season officially begins!

Mets-och-ism (Or how to tell if you are a Metsochist)

Do you have season tickets to Mets games at Citi Field?

Do you watch Mets games beyond the ninth inning, even when you have to get up for work at 6 a.m. the next morning?

Despite being of otherwise sane mind and fully cognizant of the Mets record and history, do you still watch every game and not-so-secretly hope they will win, even when Johan Santana gives up six runs in the first inning?

Then you, my friend, are a Metsochist -- and suffer from Metsochism.

Mets·och·ism (noun):
1 : a sports-related perversion characterized by pleasure in being subjected to pain or humiliation on a nightly (or daily) basis by one's baseball team
2 : pleasure in being abused or dominated : a taste for suffering

— Mets·och·ist (noun): one who takes part in Metsochism

— Mets·och·is·tic (adjective)

— Mets·och·is·ti·cal·ly (adverb)

Sadly, as far as I know, there is no cure.

Go Mets!

Best New York Mets Song Ever

As many of you know, I am a HUGE New York Mets fan -- and have been for longer than I would like to print. (Let's just say I remember when Tom Seaver was traded.) And unlike certain fair weather fans (e.g., the spouse, Craig Carton), I REFUSE to root for the New York Yankees when my team is struggling.

Sure, I'll turn off the TV when, say, Mets pitching ace Johan Santana gives up a grand slam after walking the pitcher, causing my Mets to lose to the Phillies 11-5. But that doesn't mean I won't be watching the game the following night (and praying that Ollie Perez doesn't have to be relieved in the third or fourth inning).

Anyway, getting back to this morning's post, every weekday morning the spouse and I wake up to Boomer & Carton on WFAN. And this morning we were fortunate enough to catch producer Al Dukes' latest Mets song, "I See Ollie, I See Maine," sung (and I use that word loosely) to the tune of James Taylor's "Fire and Rain." And truly, this may be Al Dukes' best Mets pitcher song EVER.

WFAN's Al Dukes' "I See Ollie, I See Maine":

Let us just hope that it lights a fire under Mets pitcher John Maine, like Al's last Maine song did, and that Maine wins one for the Mets tonight in Cincinnati.

Baseball fans rejoice! (Except for you Mets fans.)

Baseball season officially begins tonight (YAY!) with World Series champions the New York Yankees (BOO!) taking on the Boston Red Sox (HISS!) in Boston. Tomorrow, the rest of the American League, as well as the National League, swings into regular season action.

I know some of my D.C.-area readers are taking tomorrow off to attend the Washington Nationals home opener against the National League Pennant-winning Philadelphia Phillies. (God, it hurt to type that. Oh, and for the record, the Phillie Phanatic? WORST mascot EVER. Mr. Met could totally kick his ass... maybe.) As an added bonus (unless you are a Republican), President Obama will be throwing out the first pitch.

As for my beloved, injury-plagued New York Mets, they start the season off at home tomorrow, taking on the Florida Marlins at Citi Field.

While Yankees, Red Sox, and Phillies fans have much to look forward to this season -- even Nationals fans, with their signing of rookie pitching ace Stephen Strasburg, who despite starting in the minors is expected to be pitching in the big leagues by Memorial Day (if not sooner) -- Mets fans? Not so much, at least not with Mets starting pitchers Johan Santana, John Maine, Jon Niese, Mike Pelfrey, and Oliver Perez combining for an average 7.48 ERA during spring training. (And if you took out Santana, it would be much worse.) Why couldn't the Mets have signed Roy Halladay or John Lackey? Why? (Weeping.)

Sure, the Mets have some really strong bats, what with David Wright, Jeff Francoeur, and Jason Bay in the lineup, and (fingers crossed) short stop Jose Reyes and center fielder Carlos Beltran coming off the DL later this month, but it all comes down to pitching. And right now, aside from Cy Young award-winner Johan Santana, who had surgery last fall to remove bone chips from his left elbow, the Mets are seriously screwed starting pitching-wise -- unless, like Jesus Christ, the Mets starting rotation miraculously returns to life after being crucified last season. (Sorry, just had to slip in an Easter reference, cause, you know, it is Easter.)

Anyway, only time -- and 162 games -- will tell which teams will make it to the World Series this fall (though I've already heard "Yankees - Phillies rematch" and "Rockies and Rays.") But if you think you know who will still be playing in October, or just want to beat your chest about how your team is red hot (and every other team ain't doodly-squat), leave me a Comment (by clicking on the "Post a Comment" link, below).

Now play ball!

UPDATED: Red Sox beat the Yanks 9 to 7 last night. Up next: Mets vs. Marlins, Nationals vs. Phillies...

UPDATED 4/5/10: Mets win! Mets win! And they didn't just win, they pulverized the Florida Marlins, beating them 7 to 1. While I would like to give all the credit to the Mets offense and defense, the Marlins played so badly today I wondered if someone had paid the team to take a dive. Still, as one Phillies phan I know is fond of saying, "a win is a win is a win." Now if only we can get at least 90 more Ws this season. In other news, the Phillies routed the Nationals 11 to 1. Ouch. Though maybe the Redskins will return the favor this fall when former Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb joins the team as Washington's new starting QB.

The Mets' Mike Pelfrey takes a licking...

and WFAN 660's Al Dukes keeps writing songs about it. Though I have to say Al may have outdone himself with today's "Pelfrey Meets Michael Jackson" ditty (just click the link to have a listen), which I had the pleasure of hearing live on this morning's Boomer & Carton Show.

For those of you unfamiliar with Mets Pitcher Mike Pelfrey, who going into tonight's game against the Los Angeles Dodgers has a 6-3 record and a 4.26 ERA, and/or his habit of licking his hand before each pitch, here's a quick refresher.

Me, I'm still grossed out by Pelfrey's obsessive-compulsive pre-pitch hand-licking, but if it results in a Mets win, I'll deal with it. (I have low expectations. Just want the Mets to get back above .500 -- and okay, make it into the playoffs. Also, enough with the injuries and blaming David Wright for not being more of a leader.)

Play ball!

UPDATED: It's official: the Mets still stuck, losing 8 - 0 to Manny Ramirez and the rest of the Los Angeles Dodgers at Citi Field last night. And GM Omar Minaya now says he doesn't know when Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran will be back in the lineup. Definitely not soon enough. But masochist that I am, I will continue to follow -- and root for -- my team. 'Cause that's what a true fan does. Go Mets!

UPDATED 7/17/09: Big Pelf is back on the mound, in Atlanta, tonight, and Al Dukes over at the FAN (WFAN Sports Radio 66) is at it again. Here's his latest song about Mets Pitcher Mike Pelfrey licking his hands between pitches, titled "I lick myself," sung (and I use that term loosely) to the tune of the Divinyls' "I touch myself." Btw, to hear all of Al Duke's Mike Pelfrey songs, click here.

Anyone else grossed out when Mets pitcher Mike Pelfrey licks his hand between pitches?

I'm sitting here watching Pelfrey pitch against the Florida Marlins (because I'm a huge Mets fan, and I have no social life), and it is seriously grossing me out.

Don't get me wrong, I like Mike Pelfrey, especially when he doesn't balk three times in a game. (He also happens to be pretty cute.) But ever since WFAN's morning talk show host Craig Carton went off about Pelfrey licking his hands after (or before) every pitch the other morning, how it was almost like he was making out with his hand, I cannot watch Pelfrey pitch.

Making matters worse, this morning WFAN Boomer & Carton Show producer Al Dukes debuted his homage to Pelfrey's pitching ritual, titled "Lick My Hand," sung to the tune of Hootie and the Blowfish's "Hold My Hand," which you can hear here.

I realize that all baseball players have their batter's box tics -- whether it's adjusting their "junk" or their batting gloves or crossing themselves or sticking out their tongue while waiting for a pitch. But licking one's hands between pitches... ew. (It is also HIGHLY unsanitary. I know, like Pelfrey or the Mets care.)

But, as long as Pelfrey keeps winning games, even with spitballs, I'll remain a fan -- though I'll have to turn my head away (or pray that camera man does) between pitches.

***FOR MORE ON THE PELF, HIS OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE PRE-PITCH HAND LICKING, AND AL DUKES "PELFREY MEETS MICHAEL JACKSON" SONG, CLICK HERE.***

The American Idol Three-Way: Will Adam be on top? Or Will Kris and Danny be the last men standing?

Wow, 300 episodes. And I have probably watched most of them. What a waste of a life.

If the judges have their way -- and tonight's theme on American Idol is "Judges' Choice" -- Adam Lambert, he of the black eyeliner, matching nail polish and Led Zeppelin screaming trill, is pretty much assured a place in the finals. But then again, you never know. Kris Allen, who has the cougar and sorority girl vote, and Danny "I lost my wife and found God" Gokey, who has never been in the bottom three or two, could wind up in the finale together, nudging out Adam.

While I am pretty sure it will be Adam vs. Danny on May 19, I'm not willing to bet on it... yet.

And now, America, here are your American Idols...

First up, Danny Gokey, singing Paula Abdul's choice, "Dance Little Sister"...

Personally, I think it's an odd (i.e., bad) choice. And I do not remember the song at all, which, considering I am a mainstream Top 40 radio kind of gal, and like Terence Trent D'Arby, does not bode well for Mr. Gokey, in terms of audience recognition and appeal.

It was a good -- okay better than good, but NOT great -- performance, but it seemed a bit screechy and forced. I'm with Kara: I am NOT going to remember that performance tomorrow -- or 10 minutes from now. And I'm with Simon that Danny would have been MUCH better served by singing "Sign Your Name," which ALWAYS gives me chills. (J-THREE-O is nudging me, asking me to write that in her humble opinion "Hero" was by far Danny's best performance. I think the kid has something.)

And now... Kris Allen singing "Apologize." (J-THREE-O says "GREAT choice. I knew it. It's perfect for him.") Cougars and sorority girls are standing by...

Props to Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi. Now they picked the right song for Kris. And definitely a good move on Kris's part to play the piano.

Huh? Wha? What on Earth is Kara talking about?! I am not a huge Kris fan, and I thought he was GREAT. And SHE is the one who picked the friggin' song. I am 100% with Simon. And convinced that the judges are TOTALLY gunning for an Adam vs. Danny finale.

[Btw, for you baseball fans, the Mets are losing, 0 - 1, to the Atlanta Braves at the bottom of the 5th, and I am extremely torn -- and, OMG, there was a streaker -- with a Mets thong! -- on Citi Field!!! Dang, I wish we had a TV with picture in picture.]

Back to Idol and Adam, who will be singing U2's "One," as chosen by Simon Cowell, who personally got Bono on the phone to get his permission to let Adam sing the song. If that is not proof that Simon wants Adam to win it, I don't know what is.

And the sad thing is, I really like the song, but I AM HATING -- HATING -- Adam's interpretation. It sounds like every other song that Adam has sung, complete with his signature Led Zeppelin screaming trill. Yawn. (For this, I turned off the Mets game?) And OMG, could someone, please, bitch slap Kara? Please? And while they're at it, muzzle Simon? Please?

[Getting back to the Mets, Mike Pelfrey, the Mets starting pitcher, who I think is way cute -- sorry, but he IS -- is still pitching, which is pretty amazing, especially considering the Atlanta Braves just scored a second run and got yet another base hit. When will manager Jerry Manuel learn he's gotta pull Pelfrey in the 6th? Sigh. Well, at least only one run scored.]

We now return to our regularly scheduled blog post...

Yeah, whatever happened to "Idol Gives Back"? All I can say is God bless Carrie Underwood -- though I'm pretty sure He already has. LOVE her (as do the folks who produce American Idol).

[Back to the Mets. Bottom of the 6th. And... One, two, three... and they're out. Sigh.]

Danny Gokey, Round 2: "You Are So Beautiful" by Joe Cocker...

The spouse thinks this could be good. I'm not so sure. J-THREE-O is with spouse.

A little pitchy... A little too slow... and not that beautiful. Sorry, dawg, you can do waaaaay better, though it was better than Paula's song choice. (Don't know what the judges were listening to. It was good, but not "stunning," Kara. Seriously, can someone slap that woman?) More proof that the judges are totally rooting for an Adam - Danny finale. (Sorry Kris.)

And now for Kris Allen's second song, "Heartless"...

Interesting song choice. Inspired by the judges? ; )

OK, straight up: Kris totally outperformed Danny tonight, IMHO, and deserves to be in the finale. No, he is not the best singer, but he can sing and will sell way more records than Danny. And it was a solid performance. I have decided: we are voting for Kris.

OH SHUT UP, KARA. (I will pay someone to bitch slap that woman. Any takers? I got a crisp $20 right here. $40 if you throw in Paula.)

While it somewhat pains me to say this, Simon was right again (though I totally disagree with him re Adam).

[Dang, Mets STILL haven't scored. And we missed the first part of Adam's song, which I totally cannot understand.]

And speaking of Mr. Lambert... Huh? Wha? I totally did not get that. And I TOTALLY DISAGREE with Randy. And Kara. And Paula. And Simon. J-THREE-O is so miffed she is leaving and said, and I quote, "He sucked a whole bag of Riccola." (Gosh I love that kid.)

Seriously, I think Adam can sing, but he SCREECHED that song -- and has become totally UNORIGINAL and predictable. (Go ahead Adam lovers, lay your hate on me.)

My prediction and hope: Adam and Kris, American Idol finale.

Tomorrow night on Idol: Katy Perry (whom I love) and Jordin Sparks...

Now back to the Mets... where it's now Atlanta 3, Mets 2 at the bottom of the 8th...

UPDATED EARLY A.M. 5/13/09: Wow, what a game! The Mets came back to win it, 3 - 2, in the bottom of the 10th. The spouse and I were squeezing each other's hands so tightly through the 9th, when the Mets tied it up and nearly won, and the 10th, when they did, I can barely type. Here's the rundown from Filip Bondy of the New York Daily News.

And in American Idol news... Dial Idol shows Adam, Kris, and Danny in a statistical three-way tie -- but it doesn't account for texted votes, so isn't that reliable. Still, going to be a tough one. Stay tuned, Idol fans!

UPDATED 5/13/09 AT 10 P.M. ET: Well, Idol fans, it's going to be Adam Lambert vs. Kris Allen (i.e., Mr. Vegas vs. Cougar Bait) in the American Idol finale next week. I personally am not surprised, though the judges seemed to be. I think this pretty much guarantees an Adam Lambert victory, though. Thoughts? Opinions? Do you think Danny was robbed? Leave me a comment...

Btw, if you want more info on last night's American Idol results show, including video, click here. Want to see Katy Perry's "official" video for "Waking Up in Vegas"? Here you go. (Btw, I'm with Craig Berman over at MSNBC.com, whom I link to above, that her performance last night was way better than her vocals, and that if she were a contestant, she'd be in trouble, except maybe with Simon, who'd give her a pass based on that outfit alone.)

My 10-yr-old nephew pitches better than Oliver Perez... Jets finally sign a cute QB... Switzerland bans nude hiking

Big, big, big weekend Tri-State area sports fans! The Mets nearly swept the Nationals. (Though really, that's not much of an accomplishment.) The Red Sox swept the Yankees. (Pathetic.) The New York Jets, in a move that surprised and thrilled their fans, took USC quarterback Mark Sanchez as their fifth draft pick overall. And the Swiss canton of Appenzell Innerrhoden voted to ban nude hiking. (Okay, that is not technically a New York area story, but I knew fans of the blog, many of whom are born or naturalized New Yorkers, would want to know.)

First to the Mets and pitcher Oliver Perez. Never has $36 million dollars been so poorly spent or invested (well, except maybe for the $300 million Fred Wilpon invested with Bernard Madoff) -- the price the Mets paid to retain starting pitcher Oliver "Ollie" Perez. You would think for $36 million Perez could throw the ball at least 90 mph over the plate and get a few strike outs. But no. Once again the Mets $36 million man went down in flames, causing the Mets to lose 8 - 1 TO THE LAST PLACE 3 (now 4) - 13 WASHINGTON NATIONALS, making Perez 1-2 with a 9.31 ERA, and putting the Mets in second to last place in the NL East. Pathetic.

The New York Yankees were almost equally pathetic over the weekend, losing to the Boston Red Sox three games in a row. Things got so bad that in the fifth inning of Sunday's game that the Bo Sox Jacoby Ellsbury was able to steel home against Yanks pitcher Andy Pettitte. And I got a news flash for all you Yankees fans: I doubt that Alex Rodriguez returning to the lineup on May 15 is going to make a big difference. Some difference, sure. But unless the Yankees do something about their pitching/pitchers, they aren't going to even make it to the playoffs this year. (Ditto the Mets.)

And in much happier sports news: The New York Jets selected USC quarterback Mark Sanchez in Saturday's NFL draft, to much cheering and high-fiving from New York Jets fans, including WFAN's Craig Carton, the guy who last summer led a rally to get Brett Favre to the Jets. 'Nuff said.

It is waaaaaay too soon to say/predict if Mark Sanchez will be the franchise quarterback the Jets and their fans have been praying for, but from all the scouting reports, the guy shows a lot of promise. And did I mention he is way cute? (Seriously, though, could things really get much worse for the Jets? Great move, Mike Tannenbaum.)

In other Jets news, just before the draft Saturday the Jets apparently contacted former Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress's agent about a possible deal. Seriously? Yeah, seriously. (Huh. I had no idea you could play professional football while serving a prison term.)

And with that, I'm off to hit the showers.

The NFL Playoffs Have Gone to the Birds

The Giants SUCKED. The Titans SUCKED. The Panthers SUCKED. The Colts SUCKED. I am DROWNING in my Super Bowl pool. Wasn't it enough, Lord, that the Mets flamed out (again) and lost the division to the Phillies? Have you no sense of justice? Feh. (And I am still upset about the Jets, who appear to be cursed.)

What is about these fine-feathered teams? Don't Panthers kill birds? And shouldn't a Giant be able to shoot down an Eagle, and a Titan a Raven? What's next? Will the Steelers be struck down by lightning (aka the Chargers)?

Oh sure, Philadelphia fans, gloat while you can. Bask in that Brotherly Love. Next week, you are going down.

I am now officially rooting for the Baltimore Ravens and the Arizona Cardinals.

Less than three months 'til opening day of Major League Baseball...

UPDATED 6:26 P.M.: While I cannot entirely blame the Giants' defeat today on Plaxico Burress, I do blame a portion of it on Mr. Burr-ASS. After the Giants wide receiver shot himself in the leg, the Giants, perhaps in sympathy, repeatedly shot themselves in the foot.

"So You Think You Can Dance" vs. The NY Mets and the SF Giants

Popular dance competition versus struggling area baseball franchise on a roll. What did we do before remotes? (Sadly, we do not have picture-in-picture, otherwise there would be no blog post this morning, and I'd be hard at work writing that case study.)

The 42-minute rain delay (during the baseball game) certainly made life a little easier, for about 42 minutes. But I was seriously torn.

As many of you know, I have been a devout (or devoted) Mets fan since I was a kid back in New York City in the '70s, and remained one even after they traded Tom Seaver and were in a perpetual slump. (I still love you Lee Mazzilli -- even though you are no longer cute!)

In fact, we fans had gotten so used to the Mets sucking on a regular basis (though I still loved them) that it came as a bit of a shock when they made it to the World Series -- and won! -- in 1986, a victory made all the sweeter as I was in college in the Boston area at the time and was surrounded by Red Sox fans. (And to all you Red Sox fans reading this who still feel they were deprived I say "oh boo hoo hoo." You've more than made up for that defeat. Speaking of defeat, how about those 18-1 Patriots, huh? ; )

But getting back to the present... After living in the Chicago area for over eight years and then having a kid and despite moving back East having little or no time for a sport that often takes more than three hours to play (how do people watching cricket do it?), my burning love for my New York Mets had cooled to a warm ember. Until last year.

While my spouse and daughter have attended several (or more) games at Shea the past couple of years (I still miss the multi-colored metal cladding), often with my nine-year-old nephew, who I have no doubt could some day play for the Mets (yes, he's that good, and I ain't braggin'), I have contented myself watching them from the comfort of home and my big screen HDTV.

And as there is only so much Food Network and HGTV a person, even one who likes food and real estate and decorating, can take, and there is next-to-nothing of interest on network TV or basic cable, I have been watching a lot of Mets baseball. ("Jo-sé, Jo-sé, Jo-sé, Jo-sé. Jo-sé. Jo-o-sé.")

But last night, between the hours of 8 and 10 p.m. ET, I was torn, as Wednesday is not only Prince Spaghetti Day and Sundae at Carvel but "So You Think You Can Dance," which I am absolutely addicted to, much to my surprise. I love the dancing (though not necessarily the dancers), the judges, and the host, Cat Deeley. Seriously. I. Love. This. Show. Am even going to buy tickets to see the Top 10 on tour.

But the Mets, my Mets, who have been on a roll (could it be that firing Willie and making Jerry Manuel the coach did the trick? Johan Santana and others say "yes") were playing the San Francisco Giants at home, and I had to watch.

Let me just say (or, more accurately, type) that after about 10 minutes of me incessantly flipping back and forth, my spouse, child, and cats walked out of the room in disgust. (Okay, the cats stayed, but they slept.) And I was (blissfully) left alone to watch "So You Think You Can Beat the San Francisco Giants." Which the Mets in fact did, decisively, 5 - 0, last night. Putting them at 47 - 44 just 1.5 games behind the Philadelphia Phillies, the team with possibly the WORST mascot in the league. To which I say, "Let's go Mets!"

But getting back to that dance show... Not a great night. Yes, there were some very good routines and dancers, but few really breakout performances, though I loved the Bollywood number. For the record, my favorite couples right now are Chelsie and Mark, Courtney and Gev, and Katee and Joshua. But I think Will, who is a Debbie Allen protege, could wind up being the winner or in the top two or three. And I think Comfort and Thane have gotta go -- and will tonight.

And with that bit of analysis, I must get back to work.