The real reason Republicans are distancing themselves from Donald Trump

The real reason Republicans in the House and Senate (especially those up for re-election) are distancing themselves from Republican presidential candidate Donald J. Trump right now? It's not because of that just released, now infamous 2005 audio tape, where he bragged to Billy Bush* that he could get away with sexually assaulting women.

(Plenty of Trump's supporters actually admire Trump for his supposed way with the ladies -- a way that would land most of them in jail or at least fired from their job. While other Trump supporters brush off his crude, lewd, abusive talk as "locker room banter," though Trump is no athlete and was nowhere near a locker room and if a professional athlete was caught on tape saying that shit, you can bet your ass he would be in serious trouble.)

No, the real reason Republican Senators and Congressfolk and others are distancing themselves from the short-fingered vulgarian isn't because he's a vulgar, narcissistic, xenophobic, misogynistic, racist. It's because he's about to be a LOSER (or is now perceived as a loser) -- and they are terrified of being attached to, or going down on the ship with, a LOSER. (Remember, it's always the rats that are the first to leave a sinking ship.)

Remember how a bunch of prominent Republicans had distanced themselves from the Cheeto Cheater during the primaries and even after -- only to announce their support for him (or "the Republican nominee") when his poll numbers were looking up? Guess what happens every time his poll numbers go down? Yup, the rats jump ship.

And I'll tell you this, if for some reason the six-time bankrupt, Tic Tac-popping, serial-cheating, Putin-loving, spray-tanned, wouldn't-know-the-truth-if-it-was-plastered-on-the-side-of-a-skyscraper, tax-evading gas bag, aka the Republican nominee for President of the United States, does, for someone reason, get a bump in the polls between now and November 8th, many of those rats will clamber back aboard the S.S. Trump.


*who I have been unable to watch since he came to TODAY, especially after he defended Ryan Lochte, NBC needs to get him off the air.

BREAKING NEWS: Second Presidential Debate format change

Donald J. Trump, the Republican candidate for President of the United States, has announced he will come out fighting in the second Presidential Debate of 2016, to be held this Sunday, October 9, at Washington University in St. Louis (at 9 p.m. ET).

So in the spirit of this year's presidential campaign, the Commission on Presidential Debates has changed the format of the upcoming debate from a Town Hall to a no-holds-barred boxing-cum-wrestling match between Trump and Democratic candidate for President Hillary Rodham Clinton.

"The American people are itching for a fight, and we plan on giving them one," said Mike McCurry, a co-chairman of the Commission on Presidential Debates.

As part of the new format, Michael Buffer, the boxing and wrestling announcer, who announced all of the boxing bouts at Donald Trump-owned casinos in the 1980s, will be calling the fight, I mean, debate. Refereeing the match will be ABC's Martha Raddatz, chief global affairs correspondent and co-anchor of "This Week" and CNN anchor (and CIA operative) Anderson Cooper.

So presidential debate fans, are you ready to rumble?

Preview: Lester Holt's debate questions for Clinton and Trump

The first presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump takes place tonight at 9 p.m. ET at Hofstra University on Long Island and will run for 90 minutes, without commercial interruption. Around 100 million people are expected to tune in -- Super Bowl numbers.

Per the Commission on Presidential Debates, which sponsors the presidential debates:

The debate will be divided into six time segments of approximately 15 minutes each on major topics to be selected by the moderator and announced at least one week before the debate. 

The moderator will open each segment with a question, after which each candidate will have two minutes to respond. Candidates will then have an opportunity to respond to each other. The moderator will use the balance of the time in the segment for a deeper discussion of the topic.

          *****

Lester Holt, moderator of the first 2016 presidential debate, has selected the topics for that debate. Subject to possible changes because of news developments, the topics for the September 26 debate are as follows, not necessarily to be brought up in this order: 

America's Direction 

Achieving Prosperity 

Securing America 

What specifically will Lester Holt, the anchor of NBC Nightly News (and a registered Republican), ask the candidates? Here's a preview of some of the questions. [NB: Questions are not listed in the order they may appear.]

To Secretary Clinton: Do you feel America is headed in the right direction?

To Donald Trump: Can I have one of your "Make America Great" hats?

To Secretary Clinton: How would you handle illegal immigration?

To Donald Trump: What's your favorite color?

To Secretary Clinton: What specifically would you do to help improve the economy, to help those people who have lost jobs or are earning less than they did eight years ago?

To Donald Trump: How great is your plan to help America -- great, or really great?

To Secretary Clinton: How would you solve the situation in the Middle East and stop terrorism?

To Donald Trump: Remind us, what did Vladimir Putin say about you, that you were a genius?

To Secretary Clinton: Doesn't your role in Benghazi disqualify you from being President?

To Donald Trump: Running the Miss Universe pageant must have given you a lot of insight into international relations. Can you share some of the lessons you have learned?

To Secretary Clinton: Why did you use a private email server -- and why do you continue to refuse to share those speeches you gave to Goldman Sachs?

To Donald Trump: Do you feel the American people really need to see your tax returns?

To Secretary Clinton: What concerns you most about Donald Trump?

To Donald Trump: What concerns you most about Crooked Hillary; emails, Benghazi, or her terminal illness?

Feel free to suggest other questions via the Comments (which are also moderated, albeit not by Lester Holt).

If Donald Trump was your doctor

My friend, Amy, posted this video, from Informed Citizens, on Facebook a little while ago, and I thought it important to share.

Killer Surgeon from Informed Citizens on Vimeo.

You would never hire a surgeon with no proven experience, or a track record of repeated failure, to operate on you or a loved one, would you?

Well, maybe some of you would, because you hated the woman doctor with years of experience and the proven track record, because she came across as a know-it-all and your buddies Rush and Sean and Roger said you can't trust a girl doctor, especially an old, ugly one, cause, ya know, everyone knows boy doctors are smarter than girl doctors. And this guy Trump said he would totally make your mother better, and that was good enough for you, even though the guy had a whole bunch of medical malpractice suits filed against him and he admitted he had never performed this operation before, but, you know, how hard could it be?

And speaking of Trump, or really Trump supporters, here's a piece from GQ by Drew Magary (whom I enjoy reading over on Deadspin) worth a read.

Here are some of my favorite (printable) lines from the article:

"YOU are the people who want to revolutionize the way America does business by voting for its worst businessman, a disgusting neon pig who only makes money when he causes problems for other people instead of solving them."

[There are so many awesome names for Trump, many of which can be found over at Balloon Juice.]

"YOU are the people willing to overlook the fact that Trump is an unqualified, ignorant sociopath because DURRRR HILLARY IS BAD TOO DURRRR."

[I'm so tired of false equivalence. Aren't you?]

"You are handing the most important job on Earth to Napoleon from Animal Farm." 

[I just love a good literary allusion.]

And I thought it was in the Drew Magary article, but I guess it was in some other one, where the author theorized that a number of people would vote for Donald Trump just to stick it to their liberal sister-in-law, which I do not doubt for a second. But it's kind of like cutting your nose off to spite your face. Only you won't just lose your nose if you voted for Trump.

Of course, none of this -- no facts, no arguments -- will dissuade Trump supporters from believing his lies and voting for him, because... neuroscience. But writing these posts (aka venting) makes me, like Drew Magary, feel a teeny bit better.

Donald J. Trump, Looney Tune?

There is a classic Bugs Bunny episode from 1955 titled "Hare Brush" where Elmer J. Fudd (millionaire and Bugs Bunny protagonist and archenemy) suffers from serious mental illness. Alarmed, the board of directors of the Elmer J. Fudd Corporation  -- a group of conservative white men -- consider Fudd a threat to the organization and have him committed (to the Fruitcake Sanitarium, which is "full of nuts").

Fast forward a bit and we see that Elmer has convinced Bugs Bunny to trade places with him in the sanitarium -- and the psychiatrist trying to convince Bugs Bunny that he is Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire businessman, by having him repeatedly state "I am Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire, I own a mansion and a yacht." Which does the trick.

(Apparently if you emphatically state you are a millionaire with a mansion and a yacht enough times, you will believe it, even if it's not so.)

Elmer J. Fudd remind you of any other delusional millionaire* you know of?

No? Try substituting "Donald J. Trump" for "Elmer J. Fudd."

Even their signature buildings bare a striking resemblance!

Also, like Donald J. Trump, Elmer J. Fudd was obsessed with offing his opponent.

Today, however, instead of getting put in a sanitarium for his crazy behavior, our cartoon millionaire stands to get put in the White House. Now that's cwazy.

UPDATED 1/26: In his first major TV interview, with ABC's David Muir, which aired last night, Trump, who became our 45th president on January 20th, went full-on Looney Tune, spouting crazy, paranoid nonsense. Like Elmer J. Fudd, Donald J. Trump is a man obsessed -- and believes the press is Bugs Bunny.

*Until Trump produces his tax returns, I refuse to refer to him as a billionaire.

Maybe Hillary should learn how to assemble an AR-15 rifle blindfolded

For those who haven't yet seen this brilliant ad by Jason Kander, a former Army captain who fought in Afghanistan, who is running against Roy Blount in the Missouri Senate race, it is a must see:



[H/T Balloon Juice]

Kander, who is a Democrat, created the ad in response to Blount and the NRA calling him weak on Second Amendment rights. (Meanwhile numerous polls have shown that approximately 90 percent of Americans support gun control measures, including expanded background checks.)

The good news is, you don't need to know how to assemble a rifle in order to stop Donald Trump from becoming President (though it probably wouldn't hurt Hillary Clinton if she could). You apparently just need a vagina.



[H/T, again, to Balloon Juice]

Women outnumber men in the United States and more women than men have voted in recent elections. (See this and this and this.) So ladies, if we want to send Trump back to his Tower, go out and vote for Hillary on November 8th. And bring along your husband -- or boyfriend or brother or male neighbor -- and have him vote for Hillary, too.

EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT!  For those not keeping score, here is a handy cheat sheet of Donald Trump's various scandals. Also, be sure to check out the Cosmo interview with Ivanka Trump on her/her father's maternity leave policy, which is quite an eye opener (for those who had their eyes closed, fantasizing about Trump's busty blonde eldest daughter).

Of course, none of this -- or any facts -- is going to change the minds of Trump supporters or Hillary haters. But I felt like it was time to chime in.

Yet another reason to hate the New England Patriots

Let me just state for the record, I hate Tom Brady*, and I hate the New England Patriots** (even though I live in New England). And I did not shed a tear when Tom Brady was suspended for four games this season. Nor did I believe that Tom Brady not playing would stop the Patriots from winning the AFC East again. Because the New England Patriots don't play fair. In fact, I'm not sure their players are even human. Don't believe me? Look who Bill Belichick replaced Tom Brady with, Superman!

Superman, who can change the course of mighty football games, throw footballs with his bare hands, and who, disguised as Jimmy Garoppolo, mild-mannered quarterback for a great New England football team, fights a never-ending battle for first downs, touchdowns, and the American Football Conference.

I call foul!

(Also, what's with the cleft chins, New England Patriots?)

Look, I am not one of those women -- or "football babes," as my brother-in-law used to (still?) refer to them -- who watches football just to ogle a bunch of cut guys in tight pants. (Though if a guy happens to look good in his football uniform, who am I to complain?.) But how are Ryan Fitzpatrick and the Jets supposed to compete with that?

Just bring back Tom Brady. Or maybe the Jets should recruit their own superhero.



*Even though I think he is one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game -- certainly the greatest in my adult lifetime.

**Or, more specifically, Bill Belichick.