Pardon me...

So the spouse and I were watching something or other the other night and happened to catch the new Grey Poupon commercial, "The Lost Footage," which purportedly reveals the aftermath of that famous original Rolls-Royce to Rolls-Royce Grey Poupon exchange, which pretty much put Grey Poupon mustard on the map (or, in this case, table).



Our immediate reaction? WTF?! That has got to be one of the strangest -- or weirdest or most out there -- ads we've ever seen. Which is saying a lot.

And the really weird thing? Grey Poupon isn't the only brand that had re-edited an old commercial, or gone retro. Check out this new retro ad for Herbal Essences.



(Here's the original Herbal Essences airplane ad, for those who are interested.)

Did someone bring back the 1980s and forget to tell me?

I'd rather be on Hawaii

Those of you who know me (or regularly read this blog) know I am not a fan of winter -- and bolt for warmer climes whenever I can.

For my latest escape, I flew to the Big Island of Hawaii. (Alternate title of this blog post, "Hawaii J-TWO-O.") It was actually the teenager's idea. And what a fabulous idea it was.

While I had been to Kauai (with the spouse, on business), when the teenager was a baby, and to Maui, seven years ago (for a big birthday, which was a big disappointment), we had never been to the Big Island (aka Hawaii). While Hawaii doesn't have the lush greenery or multiple white sand beaches like Kauai and Maui do, it has many other charms, such as...

Coffee. OMG. If you like coffee, Kona coffee is the best. And you can find dozens of varieties, from small growers to plantations, on the Big Island. (Interestingly, there is practically no decaf as their is no decaffeination plant on the island -- too expensive.)

Delicious (and exotic) fruits and vegetables. The Saturday Farmers Market at the Keauhou Shopping Center is amazing. Had I known how much I would love dragon fruit...

I would have bought a dozen. (Who knew there was only one guy who grew/sold them on the island -- and that he'd head off to California for a week?)

We were also quite fond of the romanesco, a cross between broccoli and cauliflower.

(Do you think there's any money in being a vegetable photographer? Anyone have a beloved veggie they want a portrait of?)

And the flowers! So beautiful.

And the waterfalls! Amazing.

(Though couldn't they come up a better name than "Akaka" for this waterfall?)

Speaking of water, I could watch the waves crash against the rocks all day...



(The spouse has a way better, smarter phone than I do.)

Indeed, there were so many beautiful spots on Hawaii, it is hard to pick just one. But the Pololu Valley Lookout in the north (be sure to have lunch at Sushi Rock either on the way there or back)...

and the infinity pool at the base of Mauka Meadows, a fabulous botanical garden and coffee place...

were among my favorites. (That last shot doesn't look real, does it? And did I mention, free coffee?)

Sigh. I could go on (and on), but I won't.

Aloha a hui hou, Hawaii....

The Evolution of Mom Dancing

Friend of the blog David T. posted this video titled "Evolution of Mom Dancing," featuring Jimmy Fallon and First Lady Michelle Obama, on his Facebook page, and I just had to share.



(Wow, I never realized how much I looked like Jimmy Fallon, or danced like him.)

Okay, ladies, now shake your hips twice, same side, and let's all do just the hands part of "Single Ladies." And be sure to share your new dance moves with your daughter. ;-)

I'm boycotting Valentine's Day

I have always loathed Valentine's Day, that incredibly manipulative holiday -- or as the spouse (then boyfriend) used to refer to it, the florist, chocolatier, and jeweler conspiracy.

Sure, a lot of it is -- or was -- sour grapes, being the only woman in my dorm at college who didn't receive something (or feeling that way). Never having a boyfriend on the big day, or having one who scoffed at the idea of celebrating Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day?! Who needs it?! I thought. (The answer, of course, was, I did.)

Then, after years of togetherness (and repeated refusal to acknowledge February 14 as more than another day on the calendar), the spouse began giving me presents on Valentine's Day. Turns out, he's a pretty good gift giver.

But really, after you have received the vacuum of your dreams (technically a floor sweeper)*, what else is there to give, or to receive? We can't have flowers in the house because the cats will eat/destroy them (and I'm tired of cleaning up the glass from all the broken vases). I like chocolate (though only dark chocolate), but it would go bad before I ate it. I don't really drink (despite those Facebook posts). And I'm an anti-social hermit who sits in front of a computer all day, fending off cats, so what's the point of jewelry?

And honestly, I don't need or want anything... except maybe courtside seats to a Knicks game or a pair of seats on the Giants 50 yard line or a month in some place sunny and warm near a beach or....

ANYWAY, the point is, after nearly 20 years of marriage, I know the spouse loves me, and I love him -- and neither of us needs to prove it with flowers or candy or jewelry or Hallmark cards. (Though if you really want to show me how much you love me, honey, you'll get all of your boxes and bins of stuff out of the family room and guest room and stick them back in your office.)

So this year I am boycotting Valentine's Day.

Who's with me?

*Also way up there, the soap box he got me for our anniversary last year.

Dog tested. Dog approved.

I'm a confirmed cat person, but I love a good dog ad. And Subaru's new "Dog Tested" campaign, which is airing during the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, is doggone funny.

First up: "Subaru Dog Tested: Intro"



Next, "Subaru Dog Tested: Breeds"



Love the hunting dog.

And finally, the "Last One."



Hey, no barking at the cat -- or chasing squirrels!

Tattoo it like Beckham?

For those who haven't beheld the very chiseled David Beckham running, swimming, jumping and kicking a football (aka soccer ball) in his skivvies, here you go.



You're welcome, ladies. Consider that an early Valentine's Day present.

(So guys, do you think Beckham did all his own stunts -- or did he have a body double? If the former, all I can say is WOW.)

There is no denying that Mr. Beckham, seen above advertising his new line of David Beckham Bodyware for H&M*, is a fine specimen of manhood. But I cannot get past all those tattoos, which (to me at least) are a major distraction -- and turnoff.

I just don't get why someone, especially someone who takes pride in his body, would wish to deface it like that. Though of course most people getting tattoos don't see it that way. One little tattoo? Okay, I can kind of get that. But having someone permanently ink you all over? Maybe there's something addictive in tattoo ink that compels users to keep going back for more.

Or maybe I'm just a cranky old woman who doesn't appreciate "art."

Oh, hold on a sec. There's something going on outside.

Hey, David Beckham! Get off my lawn!

*So if I buy some of this here bodyware for the spouse for Valentine's Day, will he look like David Beckham?

This is ruffing awesome

It's been, like, months since we've had a viral video that has inspired dozens of parodies. And I know you, like me, were beginning to worry.

But now, my fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over (or beginning all over again, depending on your point of view).

I know I speak for over 90 million YouTube viewers when I say, Thank you Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (and Wanz) for giving us "Thrift Shop" (which is not safe for work or those with virgin ears).



More importantly, thank you, Pet Collective, for giving us Barklemore and the "Thrift Shop" parody "Pet Shop," which is barking adorable.


That was ruffing awesome.

(To see other "Thrift Shop" parodies, click here.)