Astro + the return of winter storm season

The 2014-2105 winter storm season has now officially begun (shudder) with Winter Storm Astro hammering the upper Midwest with snow -- and causing highway and school closings.

Hearing this news this morning, two questions immediately came to mind: 1) OMG winter already? And 2) Winter Storm Astro? Who names a snow storm Astro (the name of The Jestsons' beloved, goofy Great Dane)?

Astro

The answer to the first question is apparently "yes." The answer to the latter, the same people who brought you Winter Storm Nemo. That is, The Weather Channel.

Personally, I do not have a problem naming winter storms. I agree with The Weather Channel that it makes it easier to talk about something when you give a name to it. And we name hurricanes (and typhoons), so why not big, nasty snow storms?

But if you are going to give something big and scary and shivers-inducing a name, the name should likewise be big and scary and shivers-inducing. It should be imposing. It should connote strength. It should make you fearful. In other words, it should not be named Nemo, or Astro, or Linus.

Of course, not all of this season's winter storms have unimposing names, as you can see:

 I think Frona, Gorgon, Hektor, Juno, Neptune, Pandora, Quantum, Sparta, Thor, and Zelus are perfectly fine names for a winter storm.

[And this just in: The Weather Channel has named this season's W storm Wolf. I know you are as excited about that as I was.]

But Linus? 

I don't know about all of you, or the folks over at The Weather Channel, but when I hear or see the name Linus, I don't think "Quick! Run to Home Depot and Stop & Stop and stock up! There's a ferocious winter storm coming!" I just envision a kid sucking his thumb, clutching a blankie. (Of course, if Winter Storm Linus turns out to be a wet blanket, then the storm will have been appropriately named.)

Lucy would have been a far better choice. Just ask Charlie Brown.

And Venus? The goddess of love and beauty? Sure, that first snowfall can be beautiful. But unless you are a skier or plow snow for a living, there is nothing lovely or beautiful about a foot of snow and being trapped indoors for days. Especially if it's the twenty-second time in a few months.

So, what do you all think of naming snow storms? Good idea or bad? And what do you think of this year's crop of winter storm names? 

Too cool for school?

This may be the best snow day/school is closed announcement ever.



And yes, it's for realz. I thought these guys were college students or twentysomethings. But they are, in fact, Michael Ulku-Steiner, Head of School at Durham Academy, and Lee Hark, Assistant Head of School/Upper School Director at Durham Academy, a K-12 school in Durham, North Carolina.

Cool.

For those interested, here are the lyrics (via the Durham Academy YouTube page):

All right stop, Collaborate and listen
Ice is back and the roads will glisten
Polar vortex has a hold of us tightly
Wind like a harpoon daily and nightly

Will the power stop? Yo -- I don't know
Turn up the heat and then let go
Sleet fallin' down like a million missiles
Bringin' school delays and early dismissals.

Dance, To the grocery store
Buy batteries before conditions become . . .
Deadly, slippery roads might be
So stay in your house and drink hot tea

Don't worry kids, the learning's not lost
We have Evernote, Moodle, Veracross
If there is a problem, Greg Fishel will solve it
Check out a book while the ice dissolves. It's

Ice, ice baby. No school, there's ice, ice baby. No school, there's ice, ice baby. No school there's ice, ice baby!

Winter storms should have cooler names

It is hard to take a winter storm named Cleon or Dion -- or Nemo -- seriously. It is not that I do not take winter storms seriously. I do. I just find it hard to take seriously some of the names the Weather Channel assigns these winter storms.

(I actually blame the Latin class at Bozeman High School in Bozeman, Montana. Zephyr, guys? Really? Do you even know what zephyr means? For those too lazy to look it up, it means "soft, gentle breeze." Sheesh. Also, what is with all the rhyming names this year? Cleon, Dion, Leon... Ion, Orion... Janus, Maximus, Quintus....)

Look, I get it's easier to talk about a particular storm if you give it a name, like we do hurricanes. But Weather Channel (and you know we love you), you can do better than this:

Personally, I think every storm should be called Khan (last year's K storm, which wasn't much of a storm), or something appropriately wrathful, or violent, or unpredictable.

I know, how about naming winter storms after football players, or wrestlers, or tantrum-throwing celebrities? (Snow storm Alec or Lindsay anyone?)

One good thing about snow

I'll say one good thing about snow....

And no, it's not that school is closed (again).

Nor is it that "But snow is so pretty!"

(Okay, it is kind of pretty, but you didn't hear it here.)

It's that you sometimes get a really cute video of golden retrievers sledding.



At least they are enjoying their snow day. (Me? I just booked a trip to Florida. Of course by mid-April all the snow will have melted. Probably.)

Note to a certain groundhog: I wouldn't go poking your head out of your hidey-hole any time soon. Capiche?

View from a snow storm

Greetings from Southern New England, which feels like 20,000 leagues under the snow. (No sign of a giant snow squid yet, but you never know.)

For those of you who have forgotten what snow looks like, here's a reminder, brought to you by the letters J. (for J-TWO-O) and N., for Nemo.

Here's a photo of Snow Storm Nemo at 8:15 a.m. ET, after it had been snowing here for around an hour...

Here's what things looked like outside my front door at 11:15 a.m. ET...

Here's what Snow Storm Nemo had dumped on us by 2:15 p.m. ET, when I went to fetch the mail.

 And I took this shot while waiting for Mr. Tumnus to show up.

Yes, yes, I know: Very pretty! You want to come over here tomorrow and help shovel the stuff? (I am also terrified that we are going to lose power, again, when the wind starts howling.)

And that, boys and girls, is what eight inches (of snow) looks like.

UPDATED 2/19/13 at 10:15 a.m. ET:  Here is the same scene photographed in the first three shots.

I think we got around 18 inches of snow. Heard some towns in our state got over three feet of snow. Wind is still howling. Gusts up to 30 mph we hear, which has knocked the snow off the trees. It's a MIRACLE that no one in our little town lost power this time. (Hope I didn't just jinx us.)

Who names these snow storms?!

Oh joy, another winter storm is heading our way. And according to the Weather Channel (and other sources) it may dump two feet or more of snow in Upstate New York and Northern New England.

The name of this storm, which the Weather Channel is calling an "historic, crippling blizzard"? Nemo. (We watch a lot of Weather Channel here at J-TWO-O HQ. So much so that for her last birthday I got the teenager autographed photos of Stephanie Abrams and Jennifer Carfagno.) WTF names an "historic, crippling blizzard" Nemo?

I don't know about all of you, but most people when they hear the name Nemo think of this cute little guy from the Disney animated film Finding Nemo.

I also think of Captain Nemo, the Jules Verne character, which is better, but still. Though apparently the name Nemo is derived from the Latin for "no one" and the Greek "I give what is due" (see nemesis), which would be more appropriate except I am so not due for more snow -- or another power outage. Thank you very much.

More importantly, WHY DO WE NEED TO NAME SNOW STORMS? And who comes up with these names? (You can see a full list of Winter Storm Names for the 2012-2013 season here.)

That said, how awesome would it have been if this storm was named Khan instead of Nemo?! KHAAAAAN! (Also, memo to the folks at the Weather Channel: Q may be a NYC subway line, but I guarantee the name refers to the Star Trek character Q.)

But Virgil and Yogi?! Come on, Weather Channel people! Virgil?! Pick a really menacing name, like Voldemort. (Though as the teenager pointed out, wouldn't that make it the storm that must not be named? Good point.) And Yogi? I don't know about all of you, but the only thing I want to protect when I hear Yogi may be blowing through is a picnic basket.

Sigh. Well, whatever you call it, I should probably lay in some supplies. Am now heading out to the liquor store.

Stay safe. And let me know how much snow you get. We're supposed to get around six inches here, but I never trust guys when they tell me I'm going to get six inches.

Winter SUCKS

You would think that having spent my entire life in the Northeast and the Midwest I would be used to winter by now, perhaps even enjoy winter.

But you would be WRONG!

I hate the cold -- and am always cold. And I miss being able to bike and take long walks. I miss the sun.

Sure, snow is pretty. You want to come over here and shovel a foot of the stuff?
















And do not get me started about snow days.

Oh wait. That was the phone. It just started to snow, again, so the superintendent of schools has called for early dismissal. This after I just dropped my daughter off at school 90 minutes ago.

Have I mentioned I hate winter? But I'm not sure what the alternative is.

I have already announced to the spouse that we are either moving or spending the winter someplace warm after the teenager goes to college. But where to go?

While I detest the cold, I'm not sure I'd fit in in Florida. And I want to live someplace with some form of culture (museums, shows) and a National League Baseball team (so I could occasionally see my Mets) as well as a football team (though the latter is not as important as long as we can watch Giants games -- and Jets games, if the Jets don't totally suck). And I want to live someplace near a beach. (My favorite activity? Taking long walks on the beach just before sunset, when it's still warm out.) Where I can also walk to shops.

Does such a place exist? I have no idea. But if you do, please let me know via a comment.

All I have left to say is, that groundhog better not see its shadow on Saturday.

It's Christmas in October!

Been snowing here since around 10:30 a.m. Eastern Time -- and the flakes they keep coming down (as will probably a few trees and power lines, bleh).

It's like Christmas... in October.



Talk about the ultimate trick or treat.

Happy Halloween!

UPDATED 2 P.M.: Just took this picture of a tree in our yard. Say goodbye to your leaves, tree!

















[NOTE: The original soundtrack was 10,000 Maniacs' "Like the Weather," but YouTube said I didn't have permission to use it, bastards, even though I bought it on iTunes, so I swapped in "Winter" from Vivaldi's Four Seasons.]

UPDATED 10/30/11: We lost power yesterday at 2:45 p.m. ET and have been informed by the power company that we could be out for a week. Again. (See Irene, Hurricane.) We're tempted to move out West, but knowing our luck, as soon as we moved, there'd be earthquakes, wildfires, and mudslides.

Say it ain't snow!

In this house, s-n-o-w is one of those four-letter words not to be uttered. Especially in October. Especially after the hellacious winter we just had earlier this year. Yet all around me, on the TV, on the radio, on the streets, and in stores, that is all people are talking about.
















Looking at this map -- 3-5 inches of snow in Philadelphia, in October?! -- makes me want to weep, or hibernate. So much for tomorrow's big soccer Jamboree.

This is what October is supposed to look like:















Not this:















But apparently Winter -- or Mother Nature -- did not get my memo.

Not looking forward to the rest of this year, people.

Where'd everyone go?

Oh yay, more snow. (That would be sarcasm, for those of you not from NYC.) And two more storms on the way. Yippee. (More sarcasm.)

And schools are closed. Again. If this keeps up, by the time school ends for the year, it will already be time for them to go back. (Really, is it asking too much for my kid to have a full week of 8 to 4 school? I can't remember the last time she had a full week, or a full day.)

For those of you in Florida, Southern California, and New Zealand, this is what you have been missing. The first picture of what used to be known as our deck was taken after the last big storm, earlier this month. The last two -- where you can no longer see signs of our deck furniture (or much of anything else) -- I took this morning. And that one at the top? It's the spouse shoveling snow OFF OUR ROOF. Personally, I don't think they do the snow justice.

(Btw, here in the Northeast, split-level igloos are all the rage.)














































If you don't hear from me for a while it's because either a) the roof collapsed, b) I collapsed while trying to shovel all that snow, c) I fell out my second-story office window trying to break up the ice that has taken residence above it again, before it does more damage, or d) I spun out in my Mini while trying to make it to my chiropractor. (I should seriously attach a plow to the front of my bumper. I nearly didn't make it up our little hill yesterday. Very scary.)

Dear Winter, we are THROUGH

To tell you the truth, I never really liked you. You were always so cold to me. Icy even. Pulling one snow job over me after another. But I put up with you because I used to think snow was pretty. Not any more.

Now you've finally done it.

Usually when you dump a lot of snow on me, you soften the blow with a couple of unseasonably warm days that melt it all away before any damage is done. But not this year. Nope. This year you had to go outdo yourself. As if 18 inches of snow were not enough, you had to go dump another 18 inches on top of it. And now you're sending me freezing rain?

Furthermore, as if I didn't feel like I was already in prison you had to go and stick bars of ice all around my house. Yeah, very pretty... until one stabs you in the heart. (On the plus side, the snow vampires seem to be keeping away.)

And that cute little trick with the water you pulled in our living room? Not so cute. Though the living room did need to be painted. Just wasn't counting on having to also replace a couple of walls and the bay window and the chimney and the roof.

And for crying out loud, couldn't you have left my office alone? (Though, I admit, climbing out my office window -- which is two stories up -- and banging all the ice off it and the gutter with a hammer did feel kind of good. But did that stop all the water leaking in? No. FYI, all that ice you see in the picture at right? Gone. Oh yeah.)

So Winter, I'm through with you. Done. You are no longer welcome here. Take your snow storms and freezing rain and wind chills and go find some skiers to screw with.

View from a snow storm

I haven't turned on the Weather Channel yet, but I'm guessing we got well over a foot of snow between 8 o'clock last night and 8 o'clock this morning, when I took these three pictures.

This, btw, would be the THIRD MAJOR SNOW STORM we've had in just over two weeks. And I am starting to feel as though I live in Buffalo, not Southern Connecticut.

Anyway, here's the picture I snapped earlier of our snow-covered deck, taken standing up. (I'm 5'2" with my slippers on.)















And here's what the deck looks like from our cats' point of view:















Note: To see what the deck looked like after the first snow storm (back on December 26-27), as well as a professional photographer's fantastic short time-lapse video of the storm's affect on his deck, click here.

Oh, and here are the icicles that now hang from the deck overhang:















And here's my art shot of our backyard after the last snow storm (which took place less than a week ago):















I used to think snow was all magical and pretty. Now? Not so much.

I am also terrified of the prospect of having to shovel our walkway and around the garage. (And no, there is no one who will do it for us.)

Wish me luck, people! Updates to follow...

UPDATE #1: The sun is out! Here's hoping this means no more snow. Also, here's a (slightly) better picture of the icicles, which I thought were cool:















UPDATE #2: While I was cleaning and doing laundry and working, the spouse was out shoveling the front walkway and around the garage. Went much faster than I thought, so I have been relieved of snow shoveling duty. For now. In other news, the plow guy has yet to show up, so we're still snowed in.

UPDATE #3: I can see my driveway! Thank you, Jimmy the Plow Guy! (Of course, it's going to be a skating rink after it refreezes.)

UPDATE #4 - 1/13/11: The sky is falling. Or rather the ceiling above our bay window is. All the snow and ice that built up in the gutters and on the roof above the living room bay window is now making its way into our living room. While I like the idea of an indoor pool, I don't want one in our living room. Been mopping and laying out buckets and receptacles -- and moved all the furniture out of the way. But if this keeps up, we are seriously screwed. The worst (?) part, we have already replaced our roof -- TWICE -- in the last 10 years and replaced all the windows to prevent this from happening.

I got over 12 inches last night

And let me just say, it's overrated. (Also, my back is killing me.)

















That, btw, would be our deck. Or what you can still see of it. With all the drifting snow, I think we accumulated over 18 inches of snow out there in the last 24 hours, maybe more.

You guys knew I was talking about snow, right? ;-)

(Note: We shoveled our front walk and around the driveway, which took around 45 minutes, a little while ago. But we're going to let Mother Nature deal with the deck.)

Oh yeah, and the funny weather guy on NBC 4 this morning reported that they got "0 inches of snow in Ft. Lauderdale overnight." Hardee har har. :-(

UPDATED: OMG, check out this amazing time lapse video of the blizzard, which covers 20 hours in 40 seconds. (Nicely captured, Mike Black.)

December 2010 Blizzard Timelapse from Michael Black on Vimeo.