Who names these hurricanes? 2022 Edition

Every year, the World Meteorological Organization, which is based in Geneva, Switzerland, comes out with a list of hurricane names. They do so in order to simplify communication about these life-threatening storms. (For the history of hurricane naming, read this article from the National Ocean Service.) 

Maybe it's because the World Meteorological Organization is based in Geneva. Or maybe it's because it's hard to come up with over 20 new names ever year. But I can't help feeling I would do a better job naming hurricanes. Take this year's list of hurricane names, for example, which are as follows: 

• Alex
• Bonnie
• Colin
• Danielle
• Earl
• Fiona
• Gaston
• Hermine
• Ian
• Julia
• Karl
• Lisa
• Martin
• Nicole
• Owen
• Paula
• Richard
• Shary
• Tobias
• Virginie
• Walter

You cannot name a hurricane Bonnie and not name the next one Clyde. I mean, come on! Colin? Seriously? What were the Swiss thinking? 

And where's the o in Hermine? Hermine? Really? Though I like the idea of a Harry Potter theme. You could name the hurricanes after Slytherins and/or various villains. You could have Bellatrix for B, Crabbe for C, Draco for D, Gilderoy or Grindewald for G, Narcissa for N, and, of course, V would be Voldemort, the hurricane that should not be named. 

As for the other names on this year's list, I don't know about you but I get the feeling it was a Swiss guy who picked Danielle and Virginie, perhaps to get back at former girlfriends. Though I think Gaston is a great name for a hurricane. No one blows like Gaston! Wipes out homes like Gaston! No one's as frightening with lightning and thunder like Gaston! 

Anyway, here's hoping we don't have to use all of the names, and if we do that none of them reach Category 4 or 5 or stay offshore. 

Hurricane names have gotten ridiculous

I don't know about all of you, but to me a hurricane should sound fierce not friendly. It should have a name that strikes fear into people, like Loki or Odin or Thor -- or Hera or Poseidon or Zeus. Not sound like someone you'd hang out with at a sports bar or your grandmother played mahjongg with.

But for some reason, the World Meteorological Organization, the body that names Atlantic and Pacific hurricanes, keeps giving hurricanes chummy names. And this year is no exception, as you can see by the list of 2021 Atlantic hurricane names: 

1. Ana
2. Bill
3. Claudette
4. Danny
5. Elsa
6. Fred
7. Grace
8. Henri
9. Ida
10. Julian
11. Kate
12. Larry
13. Mindy
14. Nicholas
15. Odette
16. Peter
17. Rose
18. Sam
19. Teresa
20. Victor
21. Wanda

Seriously, Bill, Fred, and Larry? Do those sound like intimidating names to you? Why not Curly, Larry, and Moe if you want to go there? And Elsa, Ida, and Rose? Were you playing canasta when you came up with those? 

And Henri? Who effing names a hurricane Henri? Is it a French hurricane? Will it have a beret? Come on, meteorologists!

Now granted, you can't name hurricanes the same names year after year. And maybe all of the good names -- names of Greek, Norse, Roman, and other gods or fierce mythical warriors -- have already been used. Though I'm pretty sure they recycle names that haven't been retired. But I think we can do better than Danny, Elsa, and Mindy. 

I mean, what would you name a hurricane? I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be Teresa. (Got a name suggestion? Leave it in the Comments.) 

In all serious though, I hate hurricanes. And I hope this year we have a mild hurricane season, with no Category 4 or 5 storms coming ashore and wreaking havoc. 

Wishing you fair weather, this has been J. with a special meteorological blog post. 

Astro + the return of winter storm season

The 2014-2105 winter storm season has now officially begun (shudder) with Winter Storm Astro hammering the upper Midwest with snow -- and causing highway and school closings.

Hearing this news this morning, two questions immediately came to mind: 1) OMG winter already? And 2) Winter Storm Astro? Who names a snow storm Astro (the name of The Jestsons' beloved, goofy Great Dane)?

Astro

The answer to the first question is apparently "yes." The answer to the latter, the same people who brought you Winter Storm Nemo. That is, The Weather Channel.

Personally, I do not have a problem naming winter storms. I agree with The Weather Channel that it makes it easier to talk about something when you give a name to it. And we name hurricanes (and typhoons), so why not big, nasty snow storms?

But if you are going to give something big and scary and shivers-inducing a name, the name should likewise be big and scary and shivers-inducing. It should be imposing. It should connote strength. It should make you fearful. In other words, it should not be named Nemo, or Astro, or Linus.

Of course, not all of this season's winter storms have unimposing names, as you can see:

 I think Frona, Gorgon, Hektor, Juno, Neptune, Pandora, Quantum, Sparta, Thor, and Zelus are perfectly fine names for a winter storm.

[And this just in: The Weather Channel has named this season's W storm Wolf. I know you are as excited about that as I was.]

But Linus? 

I don't know about all of you, or the folks over at The Weather Channel, but when I hear or see the name Linus, I don't think "Quick! Run to Home Depot and Stop & Stop and stock up! There's a ferocious winter storm coming!" I just envision a kid sucking his thumb, clutching a blankie. (Of course, if Winter Storm Linus turns out to be a wet blanket, then the storm will have been appropriately named.)

Lucy would have been a far better choice. Just ask Charlie Brown.

And Venus? The goddess of love and beauty? Sure, that first snowfall can be beautiful. But unless you are a skier or plow snow for a living, there is nothing lovely or beautiful about a foot of snow and being trapped indoors for days. Especially if it's the twenty-second time in a few months.

So, what do you all think of naming snow storms? Good idea or bad? And what do you think of this year's crop of winter storm names? 

Too cool for school?

This may be the best snow day/school is closed announcement ever.



And yes, it's for realz. I thought these guys were college students or twentysomethings. But they are, in fact, Michael Ulku-Steiner, Head of School at Durham Academy, and Lee Hark, Assistant Head of School/Upper School Director at Durham Academy, a K-12 school in Durham, North Carolina.

Cool.

For those interested, here are the lyrics (via the Durham Academy YouTube page):

All right stop, Collaborate and listen
Ice is back and the roads will glisten
Polar vortex has a hold of us tightly
Wind like a harpoon daily and nightly

Will the power stop? Yo -- I don't know
Turn up the heat and then let go
Sleet fallin' down like a million missiles
Bringin' school delays and early dismissals.

Dance, To the grocery store
Buy batteries before conditions become . . .
Deadly, slippery roads might be
So stay in your house and drink hot tea

Don't worry kids, the learning's not lost
We have Evernote, Moodle, Veracross
If there is a problem, Greg Fishel will solve it
Check out a book while the ice dissolves. It's

Ice, ice baby. No school, there's ice, ice baby. No school, there's ice, ice baby. No school there's ice, ice baby!

Winter storms should have cooler names

It is hard to take a winter storm named Cleon or Dion -- or Nemo -- seriously. It is not that I do not take winter storms seriously. I do. I just find it hard to take seriously some of the names the Weather Channel assigns these winter storms.

(I actually blame the Latin class at Bozeman High School in Bozeman, Montana. Zephyr, guys? Really? Do you even know what zephyr means? For those too lazy to look it up, it means "soft, gentle breeze." Sheesh. Also, what is with all the rhyming names this year? Cleon, Dion, Leon... Ion, Orion... Janus, Maximus, Quintus....)

Look, I get it's easier to talk about a particular storm if you give it a name, like we do hurricanes. But Weather Channel (and you know we love you), you can do better than this:

Personally, I think every storm should be called Khan (last year's K storm, which wasn't much of a storm), or something appropriately wrathful, or violent, or unpredictable.

I know, how about naming winter storms after football players, or wrestlers, or tantrum-throwing celebrities? (Snow storm Alec or Lindsay anyone?)

View from a snow storm

Greetings from Southern New England, which feels like 20,000 leagues under the snow. (No sign of a giant snow squid yet, but you never know.)

For those of you who have forgotten what snow looks like, here's a reminder, brought to you by the letters J. (for J-TWO-O) and N., for Nemo.

Here's a photo of Snow Storm Nemo at 8:15 a.m. ET, after it had been snowing here for around an hour...

Here's what things looked like outside my front door at 11:15 a.m. ET...

Here's what Snow Storm Nemo had dumped on us by 2:15 p.m. ET, when I went to fetch the mail.

 And I took this shot while waiting for Mr. Tumnus to show up.

Yes, yes, I know: Very pretty! You want to come over here tomorrow and help shovel the stuff? (I am also terrified that we are going to lose power, again, when the wind starts howling.)

And that, boys and girls, is what eight inches (of snow) looks like.

UPDATED 2/19/13 at 10:15 a.m. ET:  Here is the same scene photographed in the first three shots.

I think we got around 18 inches of snow. Heard some towns in our state got over three feet of snow. Wind is still howling. Gusts up to 30 mph we hear, which has knocked the snow off the trees. It's a MIRACLE that no one in our little town lost power this time. (Hope I didn't just jinx us.)

Who names these snow storms?!

Oh joy, another winter storm is heading our way. And according to the Weather Channel (and other sources) it may dump two feet or more of snow in Upstate New York and Northern New England.

The name of this storm, which the Weather Channel is calling an "historic, crippling blizzard"? Nemo. (We watch a lot of Weather Channel here at J-TWO-O HQ. So much so that for her last birthday I got the teenager autographed photos of Stephanie Abrams and Jennifer Carfagno.) WTF names an "historic, crippling blizzard" Nemo?

I don't know about all of you, but most people when they hear the name Nemo think of this cute little guy from the Disney animated film Finding Nemo.

I also think of Captain Nemo, the Jules Verne character, which is better, but still. Though apparently the name Nemo is derived from the Latin for "no one" and the Greek "I give what is due" (see nemesis), which would be more appropriate except I am so not due for more snow -- or another power outage. Thank you very much.

More importantly, WHY DO WE NEED TO NAME SNOW STORMS? And who comes up with these names? (You can see a full list of Winter Storm Names for the 2012-2013 season here.)

That said, how awesome would it have been if this storm was named Khan instead of Nemo?! KHAAAAAN! (Also, memo to the folks at the Weather Channel: Q may be a NYC subway line, but I guarantee the name refers to the Star Trek character Q.)

But Virgil and Yogi?! Come on, Weather Channel people! Virgil?! Pick a really menacing name, like Voldemort. (Though as the teenager pointed out, wouldn't that make it the storm that must not be named? Good point.) And Yogi? I don't know about all of you, but the only thing I want to protect when I hear Yogi may be blowing through is a picnic basket.

Sigh. Well, whatever you call it, I should probably lay in some supplies. Am now heading out to the liquor store.

Stay safe. And let me know how much snow you get. We're supposed to get around six inches here, but I never trust guys when they tell me I'm going to get six inches.

Everyone knows it's Windy

In light of Hurricane Sandy's imminent arrival here in the Northeast, I thought a little music was in order. And what better way to say hello to a hurricane (and goodbye to your power) than with "Windy" by The Association.



Honorable mention also goes to the Eurythmics' "Here comes the rain again"...



And 10,000 Maniacs' "Like the weather."


Where on earth is the sun anyway?

Here's hoping Sandy loses steam quickly and causes a minimal amount of damage.

Be safe everyone. See you on the either side of the 800-mile storm.

UPDATED: Have another suggestion for a Sandy theme song? Please leave a Comment -- with the name of the song and a YouTube link.

Blow me

Just when you thought hurricane season was over... along comes Sandy, what some East Coast weather forecasters are calling "The Storm of the Century." (Sometimes I think Schadenfreude is a requirement for being a meteorologist.)

Already, Hurricane Sandy has wreaked havoc upon Jamaica, Cuba, Haiti, and the Bahamas, killing 21. Now it's headed northeast, whirling past Miami and Palm Beach, Florida, toward the Mid-Atlantic region and Southern New England just in time to turn the lights out on Halloween. (That Mother Nature, she sure knows how to deliver a trick!)

Here's a map of Sandy's progress and current projected path. (Right now forecasters are predicting the storm to slam into the Mid-Atlantic region and Southern New England Monday night or Tuesday a.m., bringing high gusts of wind and inches of rain, downing trees and power lines and knocking out power to millions along the Eastern Seaboard. Boo.)

As someone who lost power for six days after the first puff of Irene and again two months later, at precisely this time of year, when we had the Snowpocalypse, and again recently when another storm blew through (albeit only for a couple of days that last time), I do not share the macabre glee of the weather forecasters and networks at the thought of another major storm wreaking havoc upon the Northeast.

However, there is one potential silver lining (albeit a tarnished one) to Sandy: instead of a shitstorm of campaign coverage and ads that make us want to run and hide until after November 6, now we have an actual shitstorm to deal with! Plus, if we don't have power, we can't receive any annoying robo-calls or watch Super PAC ads!

Joking aside, I pray that Sandy loses steam before coming ashore -- or blows out to sea -- sparing the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast states. But in the meantime, we'll be filling our bathtubs and water bottles and doing all of our laundry Monday (as we have well water and are the only house on the block without a generator).

UPDATED 10/28/12: Wondering if or when Sandy will be coming to a neighborhood near you? Just type your zip code into the NBC News Hurricane Tracker to find out! Also, I don't know about all of you but having been through several severe storms and having lost power on several occasions, I am at the point where I find the constant updates and phone calls about Hurricane Sandy annoying. WTF are we supposed to do (other than have water and flashlights and batteries and non-perishable foodm etc. on hand), get chain saws and start sawing every suspicious tree limb and tree near or next to a power line? In other news, our Superintendent of Schools just called to say that there will be no school this Monday and Tuesday. 

Is that a tropical storm in your pocket or...?

I love weather humor.

Watch as Fox 13 meteorologist Dan Pope gets pumped up about Tropical Storm John. 



Glad that we don't have to worry about excess moisture, Dan.

Tee hee.

This place about to blow

I know hurricanes are nothing to sneeze at (achoo), but does anyone else think the networks and the Weather Channel are milking this storm for all it's worth? Frankly, some of the coverage is a bit morbid. It's like the forecasters and reporters want this to be a really bad storm, so they have several days worth of news (and devastation) to prattle on about. Of course, if we don't have power, we can't watch the news, but that's another story.

We here at J-TWO-O Central are taking the usual precautions: stocking up on water and batteries/flashlights and candles and basic foodstuffs and making sure our various devices are fully charged by Sunday morning.

So what are you (i.e., those of you who live along the I-95 corridor) doing to prepare for the big blow? And where do you think this sucker is going to make landfall? Leave me a comment.

P.S. What's next, fire? (We already had earth(quake), now wind.)

UPDATE 1: Went to the supermarket early this morning -- and could not believe how empty some of the shelves were. I was lucky to get a gallon of 1% milk! And forget about tuna fish and peanut butter. And the lines! Fortunately, the liquor store was calmer and well stocked, and I was able to find a six-pack of the spouse's current fave beer, Palm, as well as some Chimay Grand Reserve. The spouse is heading out to get propane for the grill later -- and a flat of seltzer.

UPDATED 8/28: Lost power around 1:45 a.m. this morning, even though it was barely raining and the wind wasn't blowing that hard at the time. Most of our town and the surrounding small, tree-filled towns are without power. No estimate as to when power will be restored. Fortunately, we have plenty of propane and water and creativity. The spouse was going to make bread, but now we're going to make pizzas on the gas grill for dinner. When the kid said she was bored, I told her we could always read Bible verses aloud and play board games. Haven't seen her since. Pray for power!

UPDATED 8/31: Day 4 without power -- or running water! And let me just say, reading by candlelight has lost it's romance (even though I've been reading historical romance novels -- just seemed appropriate). And school will not open until after Labor Day -- a week late (actually 8 days late)! And my small business has taken a major hit. But, it could be worse! At least it's not raining in our living room this time!

UPDATED 9/3: Got power back last night. Am now playing catch-up with work. Will probably post something later this weekend.

And now a word about the weather

Actually, make it an abbreviation: WTF?!

I get that meteorology is an inexact science, but jeebus, people, can you not predict a MAJOR SNOW STORM less than 12 hours before it hits?! (I happened to check Weather.com last night and the local forecast said NOTHING about a snow storm or even flurries this morning.) This has got to be some kind of new low in weather forecasting.

Just how bad is it out there (here)? Take a look for yourself. (I took these pictures around 12 noon ET -- and there was NO SNOW this time yesterday afternoon.)

I am in a particularly cranky mood because today is National Go Back to Bed Day (per the spouse), yet I was unable to because I had to get the kid off to school -- only to have the bus not show up and then find out shortly after she got to school that there was early dismissal today (which is at 10:30 a.m.). So no going back to bed for me. Just a lot of snow -- and a lot of shoveling later. :-(

[Note to my friends and readers in Florida and Southern California: Don't. Say. A. Word.]