Snow day for panda!

In my house, "snow" is one of those four-letter words that get you a dirty look. Sure, snow can be pretty. But get a lot of the stuff, even a few inches in a short period of time, and it's no longer fun. Schools and highways close. Driving can be hazardous. And all that shoveling can put a major crick in your back, even cause a heart attack.

That said, not everyone hates snow as much as I or the people who live in and around Buffalo, New York, do right now. Skiers love the fluffy white stuff, as do kids, and... pandas.

Just check out this adorable security footage of Da Mao, the Toronto Zoo's Giant Panda, who apparently loooves the snow. Da Mao has even come up with a new winter sport, according to the Toronto Zoo, "bear-bogganing."



I do not know the official Chinese translation of Da Mao, but I'm pretty sure it means "lover of snow."

Astro + the return of winter storm season

The 2014-2105 winter storm season has now officially begun (shudder) with Winter Storm Astro hammering the upper Midwest with snow -- and causing highway and school closings.

Hearing this news this morning, two questions immediately came to mind: 1) OMG winter already? And 2) Winter Storm Astro? Who names a snow storm Astro (the name of The Jestsons' beloved, goofy Great Dane)?

Astro

The answer to the first question is apparently "yes." The answer to the latter, the same people who brought you Winter Storm Nemo. That is, The Weather Channel.

Personally, I do not have a problem naming winter storms. I agree with The Weather Channel that it makes it easier to talk about something when you give a name to it. And we name hurricanes (and typhoons), so why not big, nasty snow storms?

But if you are going to give something big and scary and shivers-inducing a name, the name should likewise be big and scary and shivers-inducing. It should be imposing. It should connote strength. It should make you fearful. In other words, it should not be named Nemo, or Astro, or Linus.

Of course, not all of this season's winter storms have unimposing names, as you can see:

 I think Frona, Gorgon, Hektor, Juno, Neptune, Pandora, Quantum, Sparta, Thor, and Zelus are perfectly fine names for a winter storm.

[And this just in: The Weather Channel has named this season's W storm Wolf. I know you are as excited about that as I was.]

But Linus? 

I don't know about all of you, or the folks over at The Weather Channel, but when I hear or see the name Linus, I don't think "Quick! Run to Home Depot and Stop & Stop and stock up! There's a ferocious winter storm coming!" I just envision a kid sucking his thumb, clutching a blankie. (Of course, if Winter Storm Linus turns out to be a wet blanket, then the storm will have been appropriately named.)

Lucy would have been a far better choice. Just ask Charlie Brown.

And Venus? The goddess of love and beauty? Sure, that first snowfall can be beautiful. But unless you are a skier or plow snow for a living, there is nothing lovely or beautiful about a foot of snow and being trapped indoors for days. Especially if it's the twenty-second time in a few months.

So, what do you all think of naming snow storms? Good idea or bad? And what do you think of this year's crop of winter storm names? 

At least SOMEONE is enjoying all the snow

Me, I'm not a fan of epic snow storms. Been there, done that.

Then again, I am not a giant panda....

The Toronto Zoo's male giant panda, Da Mao, whose name means "Big Mao," sure does look like he is having fun out there, rolling around in the snow.

Then again, he doesn't have to shovel it later.

Or worry about ice dams. Or the roof leaking.

Winter storms should have cooler names

It is hard to take a winter storm named Cleon or Dion -- or Nemo -- seriously. It is not that I do not take winter storms seriously. I do. I just find it hard to take seriously some of the names the Weather Channel assigns these winter storms.

(I actually blame the Latin class at Bozeman High School in Bozeman, Montana. Zephyr, guys? Really? Do you even know what zephyr means? For those too lazy to look it up, it means "soft, gentle breeze." Sheesh. Also, what is with all the rhyming names this year? Cleon, Dion, Leon... Ion, Orion... Janus, Maximus, Quintus....)

Look, I get it's easier to talk about a particular storm if you give it a name, like we do hurricanes. But Weather Channel (and you know we love you), you can do better than this:

Personally, I think every storm should be called Khan (last year's K storm, which wasn't much of a storm), or something appropriately wrathful, or violent, or unpredictable.

I know, how about naming winter storms after football players, or wrestlers, or tantrum-throwing celebrities? (Snow storm Alec or Lindsay anyone?)

One good thing about snow

I'll say one good thing about snow....

And no, it's not that school is closed (again).

Nor is it that "But snow is so pretty!"

(Okay, it is kind of pretty, but you didn't hear it here.)

It's that you sometimes get a really cute video of golden retrievers sledding.



At least they are enjoying their snow day. (Me? I just booked a trip to Florida. Of course by mid-April all the snow will have melted. Probably.)

Note to a certain groundhog: I wouldn't go poking your head out of your hidey-hole any time soon. Capiche?

View from a snow storm

Greetings from Southern New England, which feels like 20,000 leagues under the snow. (No sign of a giant snow squid yet, but you never know.)

For those of you who have forgotten what snow looks like, here's a reminder, brought to you by the letters J. (for J-TWO-O) and N., for Nemo.

Here's a photo of Snow Storm Nemo at 8:15 a.m. ET, after it had been snowing here for around an hour...

Here's what things looked like outside my front door at 11:15 a.m. ET...

Here's what Snow Storm Nemo had dumped on us by 2:15 p.m. ET, when I went to fetch the mail.

 And I took this shot while waiting for Mr. Tumnus to show up.

Yes, yes, I know: Very pretty! You want to come over here tomorrow and help shovel the stuff? (I am also terrified that we are going to lose power, again, when the wind starts howling.)

And that, boys and girls, is what eight inches (of snow) looks like.

UPDATED 2/19/13 at 10:15 a.m. ET:  Here is the same scene photographed in the first three shots.

I think we got around 18 inches of snow. Heard some towns in our state got over three feet of snow. Wind is still howling. Gusts up to 30 mph we hear, which has knocked the snow off the trees. It's a MIRACLE that no one in our little town lost power this time. (Hope I didn't just jinx us.)

Who names these snow storms?!

Oh joy, another winter storm is heading our way. And according to the Weather Channel (and other sources) it may dump two feet or more of snow in Upstate New York and Northern New England.

The name of this storm, which the Weather Channel is calling an "historic, crippling blizzard"? Nemo. (We watch a lot of Weather Channel here at J-TWO-O HQ. So much so that for her last birthday I got the teenager autographed photos of Stephanie Abrams and Jennifer Carfagno.) WTF names an "historic, crippling blizzard" Nemo?

I don't know about all of you, but most people when they hear the name Nemo think of this cute little guy from the Disney animated film Finding Nemo.

I also think of Captain Nemo, the Jules Verne character, which is better, but still. Though apparently the name Nemo is derived from the Latin for "no one" and the Greek "I give what is due" (see nemesis), which would be more appropriate except I am so not due for more snow -- or another power outage. Thank you very much.

More importantly, WHY DO WE NEED TO NAME SNOW STORMS? And who comes up with these names? (You can see a full list of Winter Storm Names for the 2012-2013 season here.)

That said, how awesome would it have been if this storm was named Khan instead of Nemo?! KHAAAAAN! (Also, memo to the folks at the Weather Channel: Q may be a NYC subway line, but I guarantee the name refers to the Star Trek character Q.)

But Virgil and Yogi?! Come on, Weather Channel people! Virgil?! Pick a really menacing name, like Voldemort. (Though as the teenager pointed out, wouldn't that make it the storm that must not be named? Good point.) And Yogi? I don't know about all of you, but the only thing I want to protect when I hear Yogi may be blowing through is a picnic basket.

Sigh. Well, whatever you call it, I should probably lay in some supplies. Am now heading out to the liquor store.

Stay safe. And let me know how much snow you get. We're supposed to get around six inches here, but I never trust guys when they tell me I'm going to get six inches.

It's Christmas in October!

Been snowing here since around 10:30 a.m. Eastern Time -- and the flakes they keep coming down (as will probably a few trees and power lines, bleh).

It's like Christmas... in October.



Talk about the ultimate trick or treat.

Happy Halloween!

UPDATED 2 P.M.: Just took this picture of a tree in our yard. Say goodbye to your leaves, tree!

















[NOTE: The original soundtrack was 10,000 Maniacs' "Like the Weather," but YouTube said I didn't have permission to use it, bastards, even though I bought it on iTunes, so I swapped in "Winter" from Vivaldi's Four Seasons.]

UPDATED 10/30/11: We lost power yesterday at 2:45 p.m. ET and have been informed by the power company that we could be out for a week. Again. (See Irene, Hurricane.) We're tempted to move out West, but knowing our luck, as soon as we moved, there'd be earthquakes, wildfires, and mudslides.

Say it ain't snow!

In this house, s-n-o-w is one of those four-letter words not to be uttered. Especially in October. Especially after the hellacious winter we just had earlier this year. Yet all around me, on the TV, on the radio, on the streets, and in stores, that is all people are talking about.
















Looking at this map -- 3-5 inches of snow in Philadelphia, in October?! -- makes me want to weep, or hibernate. So much for tomorrow's big soccer Jamboree.

This is what October is supposed to look like:















Not this:















But apparently Winter -- or Mother Nature -- did not get my memo.

Not looking forward to the rest of this year, people.

Where'd everyone go?

Oh yay, more snow. (That would be sarcasm, for those of you not from NYC.) And two more storms on the way. Yippee. (More sarcasm.)

And schools are closed. Again. If this keeps up, by the time school ends for the year, it will already be time for them to go back. (Really, is it asking too much for my kid to have a full week of 8 to 4 school? I can't remember the last time she had a full week, or a full day.)

For those of you in Florida, Southern California, and New Zealand, this is what you have been missing. The first picture of what used to be known as our deck was taken after the last big storm, earlier this month. The last two -- where you can no longer see signs of our deck furniture (or much of anything else) -- I took this morning. And that one at the top? It's the spouse shoveling snow OFF OUR ROOF. Personally, I don't think they do the snow justice.

(Btw, here in the Northeast, split-level igloos are all the rage.)














































If you don't hear from me for a while it's because either a) the roof collapsed, b) I collapsed while trying to shovel all that snow, c) I fell out my second-story office window trying to break up the ice that has taken residence above it again, before it does more damage, or d) I spun out in my Mini while trying to make it to my chiropractor. (I should seriously attach a plow to the front of my bumper. I nearly didn't make it up our little hill yesterday. Very scary.)

Dear Winter, we are THROUGH

To tell you the truth, I never really liked you. You were always so cold to me. Icy even. Pulling one snow job over me after another. But I put up with you because I used to think snow was pretty. Not any more.

Now you've finally done it.

Usually when you dump a lot of snow on me, you soften the blow with a couple of unseasonably warm days that melt it all away before any damage is done. But not this year. Nope. This year you had to go outdo yourself. As if 18 inches of snow were not enough, you had to go dump another 18 inches on top of it. And now you're sending me freezing rain?

Furthermore, as if I didn't feel like I was already in prison you had to go and stick bars of ice all around my house. Yeah, very pretty... until one stabs you in the heart. (On the plus side, the snow vampires seem to be keeping away.)

And that cute little trick with the water you pulled in our living room? Not so cute. Though the living room did need to be painted. Just wasn't counting on having to also replace a couple of walls and the bay window and the chimney and the roof.

And for crying out loud, couldn't you have left my office alone? (Though, I admit, climbing out my office window -- which is two stories up -- and banging all the ice off it and the gutter with a hammer did feel kind of good. But did that stop all the water leaking in? No. FYI, all that ice you see in the picture at right? Gone. Oh yeah.)

So Winter, I'm through with you. Done. You are no longer welcome here. Take your snow storms and freezing rain and wind chills and go find some skiers to screw with.

View from a snow storm

I haven't turned on the Weather Channel yet, but I'm guessing we got well over a foot of snow between 8 o'clock last night and 8 o'clock this morning, when I took these three pictures.

This, btw, would be the THIRD MAJOR SNOW STORM we've had in just over two weeks. And I am starting to feel as though I live in Buffalo, not Southern Connecticut.

Anyway, here's the picture I snapped earlier of our snow-covered deck, taken standing up. (I'm 5'2" with my slippers on.)















And here's what the deck looks like from our cats' point of view:















Note: To see what the deck looked like after the first snow storm (back on December 26-27), as well as a professional photographer's fantastic short time-lapse video of the storm's affect on his deck, click here.

Oh, and here are the icicles that now hang from the deck overhang:















And here's my art shot of our backyard after the last snow storm (which took place less than a week ago):















I used to think snow was all magical and pretty. Now? Not so much.

I am also terrified of the prospect of having to shovel our walkway and around the garage. (And no, there is no one who will do it for us.)

Wish me luck, people! Updates to follow...

UPDATE #1: The sun is out! Here's hoping this means no more snow. Also, here's a (slightly) better picture of the icicles, which I thought were cool:















UPDATE #2: While I was cleaning and doing laundry and working, the spouse was out shoveling the front walkway and around the garage. Went much faster than I thought, so I have been relieved of snow shoveling duty. For now. In other news, the plow guy has yet to show up, so we're still snowed in.

UPDATE #3: I can see my driveway! Thank you, Jimmy the Plow Guy! (Of course, it's going to be a skating rink after it refreezes.)

UPDATE #4 - 1/13/11: The sky is falling. Or rather the ceiling above our bay window is. All the snow and ice that built up in the gutters and on the roof above the living room bay window is now making its way into our living room. While I like the idea of an indoor pool, I don't want one in our living room. Been mopping and laying out buckets and receptacles -- and moved all the furniture out of the way. But if this keeps up, we are seriously screwed. The worst (?) part, we have already replaced our roof -- TWICE -- in the last 10 years and replaced all the windows to prevent this from happening.

I got over 12 inches last night

And let me just say, it's overrated. (Also, my back is killing me.)

















That, btw, would be our deck. Or what you can still see of it. With all the drifting snow, I think we accumulated over 18 inches of snow out there in the last 24 hours, maybe more.

You guys knew I was talking about snow, right? ;-)

(Note: We shoveled our front walk and around the driveway, which took around 45 minutes, a little while ago. But we're going to let Mother Nature deal with the deck.)

Oh yeah, and the funny weather guy on NBC 4 this morning reported that they got "0 inches of snow in Ft. Lauderdale overnight." Hardee har har. :-(

UPDATED: OMG, check out this amazing time lapse video of the blizzard, which covers 20 hours in 40 seconds. (Nicely captured, Mike Black.)

December 2010 Blizzard Timelapse from Michael Black on Vimeo.

And now a word about the weather

Actually, make it an abbreviation: WTF?!

I get that meteorology is an inexact science, but jeebus, people, can you not predict a MAJOR SNOW STORM less than 12 hours before it hits?! (I happened to check Weather.com last night and the local forecast said NOTHING about a snow storm or even flurries this morning.) This has got to be some kind of new low in weather forecasting.

Just how bad is it out there (here)? Take a look for yourself. (I took these pictures around 12 noon ET -- and there was NO SNOW this time yesterday afternoon.)

I am in a particularly cranky mood because today is National Go Back to Bed Day (per the spouse), yet I was unable to because I had to get the kid off to school -- only to have the bus not show up and then find out shortly after she got to school that there was early dismissal today (which is at 10:30 a.m.). So no going back to bed for me. Just a lot of snow -- and a lot of shoveling later. :-(

[Note to my friends and readers in Florida and Southern California: Don't. Say. A. Word.]

Snow jobs in the news: from Las Vegas to Bernard Madoff

On Wednesday, December 17, over three-and-a-half inches of snow fell on Las Vegas (with up to six inches reported in nearby Henderson), covering the Strip and forcing schools to close and airlines to ground flights. It was the most snow Sin City had seen in nearly 30 years. But it was far from the only major snow job that made front-page news this week.

I am referring, of course, to Bernard Madoff (pronounced "MADE off" -- as in "made off with your money") -- you know, the guy who bilked his friends, charitable institutions, and supposedly sophisticated investors (aka "the smart money") out of some $50 billion in what the media is calling the biggest Ponzi scheme ever.

I think the media (including the blogosphere) has written plenty on Bernie Madoff (though do check out Paul Krugman's Op-Ed in today's New York Times titled "The Madoff Economy" to get the bigger picture, or snow job that is the investment industry) and all the folks he duped out of millions, many of whom (I am alluding here mainly to so-called financial advisors and hedge fund managers) should have known better or at least suspected something was up.

But what I haven't heard a whole lot about (with apologies to "The Sound of Music") is how do you solve a problem like Bernie Madoff?

How do you solve a problem like Bernie Madoff?
Why didn't you catch this clown and pin him down?
How do you find a word that means Bernie Madoff?
A sociopath! A con artist! A clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do you make him pay?
Restore all the funds you gave?
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Bernie Madoff?
How do you force the SEC to make a stand?

So what can we do to discourage such behavior in the future?

Clearly, regulations and/or regulators didn't and don't work (in part because people tend to look the other way when they too are being enriched). So what is left?

Jail time? Eh. That costs the taxpayers and these white-collar jails sound pretty painless. Community service? Better, especially if it involves helping the people and charities and institutions these people hurt.

The even better solution? Call me old-fashioned (or Draconian) but what about before sentencing the worst offenders to a life of community service we tar and feather them on primetime TV then throw them in the stockades for a few hours, with extended coverage on C-SPAN? If that seems too harsh (though really, what is appropriate punishment for someone who knowingly bilked his friends and charities for $50 billion?), then something equally revealing and embarrassing. The thing is to set an example -- and strip these people of the one thing they seem to care about (besides money/power), their pride, or egos.

How would YOU prevent more Bernie Madoffs (and similar Ponzi schemes) and better regulate Wall Street? Leave me a comment and let me know.

UPDATED AT 2:40 P.M.: Well, apparently one guy was onto Madoff, as far back as 1999, but no one would listen to him. Probably because it's tough to take seriously a guy whose last name sounds just like a child's pool game. Still, that's only one guy -- and a competitor to Madoff's, not a regulator or a fund manager doing due diligence.