Bow down to your feline overlords

It has now been scientifically proven that cats understand human commands, just as dogs do. They just don't give a sh*t. (Though any cat owner, I mean "servant," could have told the scientists that.)

Moreover, unlike dogs, who take great joy in serving man (and woman), cats take great joy in having us humans serve them....



[H/T FOB Carrie]

Here is what misguided cat servant, Dan, wrote in the About section of that video, titled "Cat rings bell for service and treat": "I trained my cat to ring a bell for treats. Now, when he wants treats, he will lay down in front of the bell and ask his servant, me, to give him.When he gets full, he will push the bell away, and clean his paws."

[J. shakes head sadly. Oh Dan, you weak, foolish human.]

And woe to the cat servant who is distracted from his or her sacred duty (to pet, feed, and grovel before her feline overlord) by silly things like, oh, work, or surfing the Internet -- even if it is to watch cat videos. Though why would anyone want to watch cat videos when he has a cat literally on his computer?



[H/T CuteOverload.com]

Finally, a word of advice to all you cat owners thinking about getting a dog: Don't.

Cat vacuuming?!

I don't know about the rest of you cat owners, but my two felines run for the hills every time I turn on a Dustbuster or a vacuum. So I was very surprised to see this video of a cat being vacuumed -- and enjoying it.



Amazingly, this cat is far from alone in its love of being vacuumed (a fact I only now know thanks to the power of YouTube).



Are these cats deaf? I don't get it. I can barely FURminate or lint roll my two cats, Flora and Felix.

So cat people, have you ever vacuumed your feline?

And dog people, have you ever vacuumed your canine? Inquiring minds want to know.

Ay Chihuahua! (Dog Halloween costumes)

I've seen some pretty out there dog (and cat) Halloween costumes, but this one takes the cake -- or the tank.



And for those of you dog owners looking for matching mother- (or father)-and-dog Halloween outfits, check out this "Doggie Halloween Costumes" segment from the Wendy Williams Show -- featuring matching Katy Perry costumes and Prince William and that bitch Kate Middleton.



Oh. My. God.

Your Caturday videos

You may think Al Gore invented the Internets for military purposes, but we know the truth, don't we people? The Internet was invented so people could share cat videos!



And today I am here to share with you two of the latest, hottest kitty videos from the Interwebs.

First up, from Russia with love, "Cat goes to home after shopping." Or as one YouTube commenter described it, "In Soviet Russia, cats go shopping" (which I realize may only be funny to me, my daughter, and some of her friends).



Next up, "Funny Cat Playing Basketball." (Seriously, how do these people come up with such witty titles?)



Kitty got game! (And could also have been a big help to my daughter's rec basketball team last year.)

Wishing one and all a purr-fectly lovely Caturday...

Her bulldog is smarter than your honor student

Meet Gabe, the wonder bulldog.



Pretty impressive, no?

No way you'd catch one of our cats fetching milk (or anything, for that matter).

More about Gabe the bulldog here.

The trouble with kittens

Nothing like introducing the new kitten to the resident cat.

This latest "Simon's Cat," titled "Double Trouble," brings back memories, it does.



Wishing one and all a happy Caturday.

Cats: three things you didn't know

1. Cats can sing -- or trololo (though apparently only when pet in a certain way)...



[A tip o' the paw to Dave S. and his lovely spouse for this one.]

2. Cats are fearless and brave -- and know how to pack some serious heat...



[More interesting, or definitely more amusing, is the Behind the Scenes - Medal of Honor Cat clip. Btw, some of the YouTube comments on both are pretty darn funny.]

3. Cats have an on-off button...



Who knew?

I pug you very much, Valentine

Considering that today is also the start of the 135th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, I felt this funny Valentine* was particularly appropriate. (As many of you have long suspected, this blog is going to the dogs.)

















Don't like Valentine's Day? Well, I've got just the thing to cheer you up, this video of three pugs doing the infamous "pug head tilt."



Sadly, no vacuum cleaner for me this year (though the spouse did ask if I wanted a new one), nor flowers (because the cats would just eat them and break the vase, and get water and glass all over the place). Instead, the spouse gave me a lovely heart necklace (to wear next to my heart), before he dashed out the door at 6:30. (I gave him new pajamas. I know: so romantic!)

Wishing you a happy Monday, from my heart...

*While I love this pug Valentine, last year's funny Valentine's Day blog post contains my undisputed favorite Valentine's Day ad. (To see the ad, click on the link.)

To Serve Cat*

Sure, you may think this adorable French bulldog is lovingly grooming that cat. But he is really tenderizing her! Bwahahaha!



*Bonus points if you got the reference.

The Next Cat Internet Star

Watch out, Maru, there's a new Internet Cat Star on the rise.

Live from Hong Kong, it's Murphy the Cat!

I just love the puss on that puss.

















I know, it's not a box, but it's close!

















And doesn't wittle baby Murphy cat look cute in his wittle baby cap and booties?






















Me, I am totally impressed that they* got their cat to a) wear a baby cap and booties; and b) hold still long enough for someone to photograph him in said cap and booties. (They actually had him in two baby caps!)

Thanks for sending me the pix of Murphy, E.! Now how about some Murphy the Cat videos? :-)

All I can say is, watch out, Maru, there's a new cute cat on the Internets!

*"They" being my first cousin, E., and her husband, R., who live in Hong Kong and are expecting their first human child later this month.

Felix Navidad (or How to Put a Cat in a Santa Hat)

So for Christmas this year, we (okay, the daughter and I) thought it would be hysterical to take a picture of our black cat, Felix, in a Santa hat. Why? So we could wish our friends a Felix Navidad.*

Get it? Felix Navidad! It's a riff on José Feliciano's Christmas song, "Feliz Navidad" -- "one of the most downloaded and aired Christmas songs in the United States and Canada," per Wikipedia.

Easier said than done.

Let me just say, when it comes to putting a cat in a hat, unless you are Dr. Seuss (or these guys), good luck. Though we came close, as this photo and video (our third attempt at capturing getting Felix to wear a Santa hat) attest.



Note: No humans were injured in the making of this video. And, this evening -- wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles -- the daughter managed to get the Santa hat on Felix!

















Wishing you a Meowry Christmas...



*Also, we were totally jealous of all those rabbit owners who kept flaunting their Christmas outfit-wearing bunnies over on Disapproving Rabbits. And wanted to one up them by putting a cat in a Santa hat.

Cat gets back massage (video)

Sure, I could have written about the 30th anniversary of John Lennon's death and his newly released final interview. (Thirty years?! Wow, I feel old.)

Or I could have chosen to blog about the death of Elizabeth Edwards at the too-young age of 61. (So sad.)

But I didn't. And you know why? Because on a sad day like today what the world really needs is... a video of a cat getting a massage in a shiatsu back and neck massage chair.

Cat gets a back massage | akilli.tv

Hey, it was either the cat getting a massage or pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Who says cats aren't affectionate?

I am always perplexed when people state that cats are simply not affectionate (like dogs are). Puh-lease. If my two cats were any more affectionate, I would have to buy a lint roller company.

I'll give you that some cats are not as friendly as dogs, preferring to go about their own business without any human intervention. But not affectionate? I can't get my cats to leave me alone. Indeed, if I do not constantly pet Flora, she will take her right (or left) paw and gently tap me on the shoulder or rub up against me or sit on top of my work and block my monitor until I pet her (some more).



And I am such a softy that I don't have the heart to wake up Felix (my black cat) when he's curled up in my lap. Which, despite the title of the video, is why I often spend hours working at the computer without getting up (or eating or showering) and probably have clots in both legs that would surely kill me if I did not work out regularly.



But despite the inconvenience, I wouldn't trade my two cats for anything. They're purr-fect.

The Continuing Adventures of Felix the Cat

I realize only die-hard cat fans and/or procrastinators and/or my immediate family members will read this blog post and watch these videos. But I don't care. A cat owner's gotta do what a cat owner with a video camera and a YouTube account has got to do. (Also, it's been a really crappy day and it was either post cute Felix videos or down the bottle of Smirnoff vodka chilling in the freezer.)

Presenting "The Continuing Adventures of Felix the Cat," aka our cat, Felix.

First up, "Felix vs. the Yogurt Container," a gripping tale of one black cat's addiction to Stonyfield Farm French Vanilla Yogurt.



(I love how Felix's purr reverberates against the yogurt container.)

Next up, "Felix vs. the Flat Panel TV," the poignant tale of a black cat who dreamed of becoming a tightrope walker in the circus -- only to have his dreams (and paws) dashed by a flat panel HGTV.



And finally, "Felix Takes a Licking, and Keeps on Licking," or one black cat's eternal quest for fresh tap water. (I laughed, I cried.)



To be continued...

Apple unveils new iPad for cats

Introducing the new and improved iPounce v2.0, as demonstrated by my favorite kitten, Leonardo Da Kitteh. (Why the iPounce 2.0 as opposed to the 1.0, you ask? Because the first version was clawed to death in the lab.)



The new Apple iPounce 2.0 features a large claw-resistant, multi-paw touch screen and comes with many exciting cat apps, such as Mouse!, Get the Mouse!, Kill the Mouse!, and What Was that? Get It! guaranteed to keep your kitty busy for hours (or at least five minutes).

Warning: The iPounce is highly addictive, like electronic catnip for your kitty.

[Thanks to Edward and Alyssa for making this post possible.]

More great cat videos

Alternate title: "Cats do the darnedest things, Part Two"

First up, my very own Felix, who decided it would be fun to see if he could climb up our flat screen TV -- and wound up getting stuck on top of the darned thing. Poor cat. I think he was a little freaked out (though this wasn't the first time he had done it, with the same result).



Next up, all the way from France, "Standing Cat" (aka "Mon chat se tient debout tout seul"):



And Standing Cat's swashbuckling cousin, Puss in Boots (aka Le Chat Botté):



UPDATED: Just saw this over on Cuteoverload.com and had to add.

So what do you get when you take an iPad and add a curious cat? Why, the iPawed, of course!

It's Caturday!

The perfect day for funny cat videos.

First up, "Halloween Kitties" (or why you should never try to put a costume on a cat, let alone three cats), from the same folks who brought you "An Engineer's Guide to Cats." (H/T to Larissa.)



Next up, "Simon's Cat." And despite this being a cartoon what you see is real.



Finally, Felix! He takes a licking and... keeps on licking!



Btw, you can also view this Felix video on YouTube, at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCVw3rJK2NQ -- and feel free to share it with your friends. (Hint.)

Wishing you all a very happy Caturday! (Even you dog lovers.)

Why don't the Obamas adopt a cat -- or two?

I like dogs, but a cat -- better yet, two cats -- would be a much more practical pet for the White House. Cats do not have to be walked. Cats are fastidious. Cats are useful. Cats do not spill the water from their water bowl all over the floor, gnaw on shoes or tear up the house when you leave them alone for a few hours. And they can be quite affectionate.

Yes, I know Malia Obama is allergic to pet dander, but just like there are hypoallergenic dogs, there are hypoallergenic cats, like this lovely Siberian:

Oh, and for those who say dogs make better pets and/or are more fun, I beg to differ. Cats are MUCH easier to care for (did I mention the no walking at 6 a.m. or 11 p.m. in the rain or snow, freezing cold or blistering heat?) and can be lots of fun. Just check out Exhibit A:



Or even better, to show the world that his administration will be truly bipartisan, Barack Obama and his family should adopt a dog AND a cat (from a shelter, if possible).

What's new, pussycats?

Football updates to come later*, sports fans, but figured, who could resist a little pussy?

Felix undercover...

Good advice...

Flora's good side...

*Personally, I am very disappointed the New York Jets went with the green-and-white uniforms today as I had a fabulous (albeit scathing) post queued up in case they went with the teal-and-gold instead.

Just say "no" to designer dogs

Just like some hybrid vehicles, some hybrid dogs make sense. Others beg the question, why bother? (Or, What were they thinking?!) In many cases, the non-hybrid version was just fine or even better (and often cuter, in the case of dogs). I mean, whose brilliant idea was a chorkie? Does the world really need a yippier dog?

And, please, someone explain the point of combining a Bichon Frise and a poodle? Isn't that kind of redundant? (Though I will admit this particular "Poochon" or "Bichpoo" is pretty adorable.)

I know cockapoos have been around for a while...

And puggles are kind of cute...

Okay, really cute.

But airedoodles? Augies? Baskimos? A Bowzer (Hey, wasn't that the guy from Sha-Na-Na?) Chimation? (Is that some new form of digital animation out of Chicago?) A chiweenie? (That is just wrong on so many levels.) Cojack? (I think someone's been watching a little too much late-night TV.) Dorkie? (No comment.) Pekepoo? (Yeah, I see you.) The list goes on and on (literally).

This kind of canine engineering is almost as bewildering (and troubling) as those asinine Brooke Shields commercials for the new Volkswagen Routan promoting German engineering. (Btw, anyone else out there freaked or creeped out by the words "German engineering" in regard to bearing children?)

So, please, dog fanciers, I beg you, let dogs be dogs. If your poodle wants to get it on with that long-haired chihuahua down the block, fine. But let us not encourage or profit from such unnatural (and perhaps dangerous) liaisons.