Yet another reason to hate the New England Patriots

Let me just state for the record, I hate Tom Brady*, and I hate the New England Patriots** (even though I live in New England). And I did not shed a tear when Tom Brady was suspended for four games this season. Nor did I believe that Tom Brady not playing would stop the Patriots from winning the AFC East again. Because the New England Patriots don't play fair. In fact, I'm not sure their players are even human. Don't believe me? Look who Bill Belichick replaced Tom Brady with, Superman!

Superman, who can change the course of mighty football games, throw footballs with his bare hands, and who, disguised as Jimmy Garoppolo, mild-mannered quarterback for a great New England football team, fights a never-ending battle for first downs, touchdowns, and the American Football Conference.

I call foul!

(Also, what's with the cleft chins, New England Patriots?)

Look, I am not one of those women -- or "football babes," as my brother-in-law used to (still?) refer to them -- who watches football just to ogle a bunch of cut guys in tight pants. (Though if a guy happens to look good in his football uniform, who am I to complain?.) But how are Ryan Fitzpatrick and the Jets supposed to compete with that?

Just bring back Tom Brady. Or maybe the Jets should recruit their own superhero.



*Even though I think he is one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game -- certainly the greatest in my adult lifetime.

**Or, more specifically, Bill Belichick.

Break out the NFL thongs*! It's football season!

Ah September, when a Mets fan's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of... football. (My apologies to Lord Tennyson.)

Though I am not feeling especially confident this season about my New York Giants' chances of making it to the Super Bowl (at their own stadium) this year, at least Giants management and fans are confident (for now) about their starting quarterback, Eli Manning, who sports not one but two Super Bowl rings. And it looks as though popular wide receiver Victor Cruz will be healthy enough to salsa in the end zone at the Giants opener Sunday against the Cowboys in Dallas. Yay! (No word yet on defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul, though he will most likely not play until Week 2.)

As for the Jets, they are pretty much doomed. Call it the Curse of Tim Tebow. (I do.) Or All Woody Johnson's Fault. (Ditto. See below.)

Just when you thought that organization would have learned from last year's circus... management somehow looks like an even bigger bunch of clowns this season.

Personally, I blame Jets owner Woody Johnson. If only instead of hiring Tim Tebow to play quarterback** last season he had surrounded soon-to-be-former Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez with a better offensive line and receivers... and someone other than Tony Sparano as the offensive coordinator.... (Talk about an offensive line.)

Anyway, I will be (pleasantly?) surprised if a) Week 1 Jets starting QB Geno Smith isn't repeatedly tackled and/or intercepted; b) Jets new backup quarterback Brady Quinn does a whole lot better in Week 3 (assuming Sanchez is cut, which I do); c) coach Rex Ryan isn't fired midway through the season (or has his contract renewed for another season); d) the Jets get over .500 this season; or e) all of the above.

Now if only the Giants stay healthy....

So, who are you all rooting for this season? And who do you think will be playing at MetLife Stadium on February 2, 2014? (And who thinks they should have put a retractable roof on the stadium, especially considering that two teams share the facility and New York is a huge market and is not exactly in the tropics or sub-tropics?)

*Actually, I was so giddy about the start of the professional football season, which kicks off tonight, I broke out my New York Giants thong earlier this week. (My New York Jets thong, however, has been relegated to the back of the underwear drawer, where it pretty much sat out last season, in protest to the Jets picking up Tim Tebow... and for other reasons.)

**Seriously, WTF? At least Bill Belichick saw the error of his ways before Week 1 and had the sense to cut Tebow.

Maybe the Jets should change their name...

to the New York* Beefcakes.

First they sign a quarterback, Mark Sanchez, who keeps showing up in GQ (often half dressed)...






















(Sigh. I never get tired of looking at that picture.)

And then they sign a backup quarterback, Tim Tebow (though who really thinks Tim Tebow is going to be a "backup" for long?), who is a spokesmodel for Jockey underwear!












(Mmmm... Lord give me strength.)

Not that as a green-blooded female Jets fan I'm complaining -- about the scenery. But I worry that this battle of the hunky quarterbacks could be a distraction.

The Tim Tebow signing has already created a media circus (though I thought Tebow carried himself well at yesterday's press conference -- and was pleasantly surprised by how humble and sincere he came across.) Do we really need a war over which GQ QB is the hottest?

*or, more accurately, the New Jersey

Jets, Giants, and Zombies

If you are a Jets and/or Giants fan, yesterday was HUGE. I still can't quite believe the Jets beat the Bills, pretty decisively (27-11) -- and are now tied for first place in the AFC East with the Patriots and the Bills.

And the second half of the Giants-Patriots game at Foxborough.... You needed heart medication to have survived that fourth quarter. That may have been the most exciting second half and/or fourth quarter of a football game I have ever seen. (Shades of Super Bowl XLII? Giants' tight end Jake Ballard even wears David Tyree's number, 85.)

While there were a number of great moments in both games, the Santonio Holmes (wide receiver, New York Jets) - Rex Ryan (coach, New York Jets) body bump, after Holmes scored a touchdown in the third quarter of the Jets-Bills game was particularly memorable (and humorous):



Fat white guys can jump!

And what can I say about the second half, particularly the last seconds of the fourth quarter, of yesterday's Giants-Patriots game that this highlight reel doesn't better illustrate? You ROCK (or CATCH), Jake Ballard -- and Eli Manning and Brandon Jacobs! Final score: Giants 24-Patriots 20. Amazing.

Finally, zombies -- which you could pretty much classify me as after spending all day watching football yesterday, and after not having electricity, or running water, or school for my daughter, all last week.

My daughter had planned on dressing up for Halloween -- which our town moved to November 5 -- as a zombie prom queen long before the power outage. However, in light of recent events, her costume seemed particularly appropriate. (I certainly felt my brains had been sucked out.)






















Here's to the Jets, the Giants, and to keeping the zombies at bay.

Jets vs. Patriots: This time it's personal

I just love me some good football smack talk, though I think the Jets are asking for trouble talking smack about the New England Patriots and QB Tom Brady right now (especially considering the whooping they got the last time they played them).

[NOTE: This video, which I found after I wrote this post, is probably NOT safe for work -- that is, if you are familiar with Rex Ryan's verbal stylings.]



Do you really think calling Patriots quarterback Tom Brady an a-hole is going to help the Jets cause, Antonio Cromartie? Or do you think it's an invitation to a major butt-kicking?

As for Jets Coach Rex "Footloose" Ryan, a media gift who keeps on giving, if the Jets beat the Patriots this Sunday, no one will care what smack he talked about Tom Brady or the Patriots. In fact, sports talk radio hosts (yes, I'm talking to you, Craig Carton) will sing his praises come Monday morning. But if the Jets lose.... (Yeah, yeah, Patriots fans, pipe down.)

Btw, Jets and Jets fans have not been the only ones talking smack about this Sunday's big big AFC divisional playoff game between the New York Jets (of New Jersey) and the New England Patriots at Gillette Stadium. Patriots Wide Receiver Wes Welker had a few choice foot metaphors for Rex Ryan and the Jets. And this Pats fan (see video, below) also has some opinions about Sunday afternoon's Jets - Patriots matchup.

[NOTE: This video is also not entirely safe for work, unless you are a Patriots fan.]



But let me ask all of you. (All five of you.) What do you guys think about football smack talk and, more importantly, about this Sunday's big game between the Jets and Patriots?

Let me know via a blog comment.

And even though we took the Pats in the NFL playoff pool (hangs head in shame)... GO JETS!

UPDATED 1/17/11: Jets won! Jets won! Still can't quite believe it. To Pittsburgh -- and beyond!

A Jets fan's AFC playoff game prayer

[Scroll down the page to see A Jets Fan's Prayer for this Sunday's AFC Championship Game between the Jets and the Pittsburgh Steelers. GO JETS!]

In honor of tonight's NFL AFC Wild Card Playoff Game between the 11-5 New York Jets (of New Jersey) and the 10-6 Indianapolis Colts* (at 8 p.m. ET on NBS), I have composed the following prayer for Jets fans to recite before the big game.

A Jets Fan's AFC Wild Card Playoff Prayer

Our Jets team, which art in Indy,
hallowed be thy defense.
Thy offense come.
Thy will be done
on the Colts,
as it was on the Bills and the Steelers.
Give us tonight our first post-season win,
and forgive us our penalties and interceptions,
as we block and tackle those who seek to score against us.
Lead us not into defeat,
but deliver us unto the Super Bowl.
Amen.

UPDATED 1/16/11 in honor of today's big AFC divisional playoff game between the New York Jets (of New Jersey) and the New England Patriots (of Tom Brady):

A Jets Fan's AFC Divisional Playoff Prayer

Our Jets team, which art in Foxborough,
hallowed be thy defense.
Thy offense must run.
Thy blocking be done
on the Pats,
as it was on the Colts and the Bills.
Give us this afternoon our next playoff win,
and forgive us our penalties and interceptions,
as we block and tackle those who seek to score against us.
Lead us not into defeat,
but deliver us unto the Super Bowl.
Amen.

UPDATED 1/19/11 as I begin my next vigil, praying for yet another Jets win, this time at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh this Sunday, January 23. (Hey, the other two worked. Maybe a three's a charm. Or not.)

A Jets Fan's AFC Championship Game Prayer

Our Jets team, which art in Pittsburgh,
hallowed be thy defense.
Thy offense must run.
Thy blocking be done
on the Steelers,
as it was on the Colts and Pats.
Give us this Sunday our next big win,
and forgive us our penalties and interceptions,
as we block and tackle those who seek to score against us.
Lead us not into defeat,
but deliver us unto the Super Bowl.
Amen.

J-E-T-S, goooooo Jets!

*Can you say "re-seed"?!

Anyone know who's going to win Super Bowl XLV?

Cause I got an NFL Post-Season Playoff Bracket I could use some help filling in.

(Click on the NFL Post-Season Playoff Bracket Pool picture below to see a larger version.)















Let me know your picks. And if you're correct, I may cut you in on the action. (Note: New England Patriots fans excluded, but thanks for playing.)

Me? I'm torn, especially concerning this weekend's first round of the AFC playoffs. As a Jets fan, I am rooting for the Jets, but I'm nervous about the Colts. The other AFC game is much easier. I'm rooting for (and picking) the Baltimore Ravens over the Kansas City Chiefs.

As for this weekend's NFC playoff games, I'm going with the New Orleans Saints over the Seattle Seahawks (who should not even have been allowed in the playoffs with a losing record -- talk about Who dat?!). But the Green Bay Packers at the Philadelphia Eagles game is a toughie. Anyone?

Also, I completely agree with Mike and Mike over on ESPN and this guy that the four AFC games being played this weekend are being played in the wrong stadiums. I know why they are being played where they are, but it's just wrong that the teams with better records are on the road. Time to re-seed.

As for round two of the playoffs, I've been second-guessing myself all week. I mean, how do you not pick the New England Patriots to win against the New York Jets or the Indianapolis Colts? Though I think both teams are worthy opponents, and the Jets did beat the Pats early on in the season. I also find it hard to bet against the Pittsburgh Steelers (even though I loathe "alleged" rapist Ben Roethlisburger).

And I think the Atlanta Falcons will probably beat whomever they face (the Saints or the Seahawks). Though I think the Chicago Bears could lose to the Eagles (assuming the Eagles beat the Packers) if Michael Vick (I know, I know: What about the DOGS?!) is having a good game.

Speaking of the Eagles, even though I HATE typing this, I think it's possible we could have an all Pennsylvania Super Bowl this year, Eagles vs. Steelers, though I'm sure the even money is on the Patriots and Falcons, the two NFL teams with the best regular season records.

Decisions, decisions....

Brother, can you spare a pick?

UPDATED 1/9/11: Well, thanks to the spouse (who picked the Colts over the Jets in our bracket pool, despite my wanting to pick the Jets), we are currently 0-2. Woohoo! Thought I'm not too upset as my Jets made it to the next round. Go Jets!

UPDATED 1/17/11: Well, so much for the NFL playoff bracket pool! But you know what? I don't care! GO JETS! To Pittsburgh -- and beyond! How awesome would a Jets - Packers Super Bowl be? (Rats. Probably just jinxed it.)

UPDATED 1/24/11: Well, now we know: Packers vs. Steelers. (My gut was right about the Steelers -- and SHF was right about the Packers.) Until next year, Jets fans...

Cliff Lee to Phillies, Mets doomed; Jets suck; totally know how this guy feels

I don't know about Hell, but the Greater New York City area is certainly freezing over -- and I ain't just referring to the weather. Rather, I am referring to the breaking news that Pitching Ace Cliff Lee has re-signed with the Phillies. WTF?! That is so unfair. I wasn't thrilled about the idea of Lee signing with the New York Yankees (which I never really thought he'd do). But the Phillies, the team that dumped Cliff Lee just the other season?! And besides, the Philadelphia Phillies already have three aces in Roy Halladay, Roy Oswalt, and Cole Hamels! That's like stacking the deck! I cry "foul"! The New York Mets are now totally SCREWED, as are every other team in the National League. Why not just give the World Series trophy to the Phillies now, why don't you? Feh.

And speaking of cold, hard realities, what is with the New York Jets (of New Jersey), who don't seem to be able to catch a ball even when it's handed to them? WTF is up with that?! It has gotten to the point where I can barely watch Jets football. Just too painful. (And the New York Giants, who now own the stat of being the team with the most picks, ain't a whole lot more fun to watch.) If I'm Rex Ryan, I'd have Offensive Coordinator Brian Shottenheimer standing out there in the Jets practice facility with a hose and/or a snow machine -- heck, on an ice-skating rink -- making his wide receivers and tight ends practice catching the dang football in the worst possible conditions until they can do it 100 times in a row.

Lastly, I just came across this short video on YouTube, whose alternate title should be "Ever Had One of Those Days?" and had to share -- as I think we can all relate to what this guy is thinking. (LOVE the shots of his face.) Note: My daughter, who just had her winter band concert (she plays the clarinet), heard the video and thought it sounded like cats being tortured. (Am happy to report her band sounds A LOT better than these guys.)



Am now off to hibernate work.

Let's talk turkey (and football)

For the first time in memory, I am spending Thanksgiving (also known as Turkey Day) at home this year. And that's just fine by me. Not that there is anything wrong with spending Thanksgiving away from home.

All of my life (as far back as I can remember), I have enjoyed Thanksgiving in someone else's home (mainly my aunt and uncle's, who put out a great spread but live about 3 hours away and my neck and back can't take the long car trip at this point) or else at some hotel somewhere (typically someplace warmer and/or more exotic than here, often involving chocolate). But I am quite looking forward to making the traditional Thanksgiving meal, in my own kitchen, with the spouse and the kid; eating it right here; and then watching the Jets tackle the Bengals.

Anyway, for those who are interested, here is what we are making for our first Thanksgiving:

Brined and roasted turkey (courtesy of Emeril Lagasse)

Simple and amazing cranberry sauce

Mushroom stuffing (courtesy of Rachael Ray)

Brussel sprouts

And for dessert:

Mark Sanchez. Oops. I meant Paula Deen's pumpkin cheesecake. ;-)

(Can you tell we watch a LOT of Food Network, can you?)

Speaking of Mark Sanchez -- and the New York Jets -- could you guys please win a football game by the start of the fourth quarter and spare us fans having to make appointments to get fitted for a pacemaker? You boys are killing me. Though considering the amount of turkey I plan on consuming tomorrow, I may not be able to stay awake into the fourth quarter of tomorrow night's Jets vs. Cincinnati Bengals matchup at home (in New Jersey) at New Meadowlands Stadium.

In the meantime, I wish everyone reading this blog post a very happy Thanksgiving. I am grateful -- and will be giving thanks -- for each one of you.

Also, GO JETS!!!

The Joy of Football

Ah Sunday in November, when a middle-aged woman's fancy turns to... football... and poetry.

How do I love football? Let me count the ways...
(With apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning)

How do I love football? Let me count the ways.
I love football to the first down and touch down or field goal
Each drive can reach, as the ball is passed or run down the field
From the end zone of the opposing team and the ideal runback.
I love football to the level of each Sunday's
Most heated game, by sun and stadium-light.
I love football freely, as men strive for touchdowns;
I love football purely, as they return from punts.
I love football with a passion put to use
In shouting for my teams, and with a chilled beer.
I love football with a love I seemed to lose
When my teams lost, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if the football gods so choose,
I shall but love thee better after my team wins the Super Bowl.

The Jets Fan's Prayer (Cleveland Edition)

Our Jets team, which art in Cleveland,
hallowed be thy run game.
Thy defense come.
Thy will be done on the Browns,
as it was on the Patriots and Bills.
Give us this Sunday our next big win,
and forgive us our sacks and penalties,
as we block and intercept those who seek to score against us.
Lead us not into defeat,
but deliver us to the Super Bowl.
Amen.

O Giants! My Giants! (With apologies to Walt Whitman)

O GIANTS! My Giants! your fearful rivalry is done;
The team has weather'd every sack, the prize we sought is won;
The Cowboys are here, the shouts I hear, the fans all exulting,
While Eli takes the steady snap, the offense grim and daring:
O hut! hut! hut!
Soon they'll be bleeding drops of Cowboy silver,
When on the field another Cowboy pass lies,
Fumbled yet again.

Suddenly everyone's a Jets fan

Okay, maybe not everyone is a New York Jets (of New Jersey) fan, but this football season it seems that the greater New York City metro area (New York-New Jersey-Connecticut) has gone from feeling (Big) Blue to seeing (Gang) Green.

Some may attribute the increase in the number of Jets fans (particularly female fans) to this guy, Jets Quarterback Mark Sanchez, who, btw, has yet to throw an interception this season (a record -- though now watch, this Sunday he'll get picked off three times by the Denver Broncos):






















Or maybe I should say Jets super sexy GQ QB Mark Sanchez:





















But I think the real cause of all the Jets excitement is this guy, Jets coach Rex Ryan:






















Sure, Rex Ryan may not have the sculpted abs of Mark Sanchez (I'm not even sure Ryan has abs), but he is far more entertaining -- and has breathed life (and a lot of unprintable words) into what was considered until recently an also-ran NFL franchise.

There is also the fact that the Jets are Number One in the AFC East (at least this week), with a 4-1 record (though I may have just jinxed them) -- and everyone loves a winner.

Whatever the reason, I believe the Jets bandwagon is big enough for everyone to climb aboard -- even you, Tom Brady.

GO JETS!!!

So much for the Jets going 16-0. But at least the Giants won.

First the good news -- that is, if you are a New York (Jersey) Giants fan: the Giants won their home opener Sunday, 31-18, over the Carolina Panthers. No, it wasn't pretty. And no, I don't think that it marks the start of a Super Bowl run. But, a win is a win is a win. And it's one more than the New York (Jersey) Jets, who share a stadium with the Giants, have right now.

Speaking of sharing a stadium, the staff and grounds crew at New Meadowlands Stadium (in East Rutherford, New Jersey), where both the Giants and Jets play, deserve a trophy for turning what was Giants Stadium Sunday afternoon at 4:30 p.m. ET into Jets Stadium by 4 p.m. ET Monday (actually a lot sooner than that). Even if you don't care about the Giants or the Jets, check out this short video. Amazing.


But getting back to the Jets, I was totally pumped to watch the Jets tackle the Baltimore Ravens last night, especially after watching Hank Williams Jr. open Monday Night Football on ESPN:



But neither Old Hank's rallying cry nor Mark Sanchez's rugged good looks could save the Jets from an embarrassing 10-9 defeat. (If you click on only one link in this post, read the URL for the one before this parenthetical statement. Brilliant.) I don't know which was worse, the Jets' offense, which couldn't score, even when given several opportunities, or the Jets' defense, which may have gone in the books for record number of penalties in a single game.

Of course, being a fan (of both the Giants and the Jets -- weird but true), I'll be in front of the TV again next weekend, rooting (and praying) for a victory.

Jets fans, let us pray

In honor of this Sunday's AFC Championship game between the New York Jets (of New Jersey) and the Indianapolis Colts (at 3 p.m. ET on CBS), I have composed the following prayer for Jets fans to recite before the big game.

The Jets Fan's Prayer

Our Jets team, which art in Indy,
hallowed be thy run game.
Thy defense come.
Thy will be done on the Colts,
as it was on the Bengals and Chargers.
Give us this Sunday our next big win,
and forgive us our sacks and penalties,
as we block and intercept those who seek to score against us.
Lead us not into defeat,
but deliver us to the Super Bowl.
Amen.

Go Jets!

God must be a Jets fan

Though He may love the San Diego Chargers more.

How do I know God is a New York Jets fan? Or that He, in His infinite wisdom, wants me to watch this Sunday's AFC Divisional Playoff Game between the Jets and the Chargers in its entirety?

Why else would Lady Gaga suddenly and mysteriously fall ill Thursday evening -- and suddenly and mysteriously cancel her concert this Sunday, the one my daughter and I (and my friend G., who is also a big-time Jets fan, and her two girls) had tickets to attend, even though Lady Gaga was well enough to perform live on Oprah Friday?

What else could it be but that God wants me and G. to watch the Jets game this Sunday, right? That's got to be it!

Oh wait. I just had a terrible thought. Maybe God is really angry with Jets coach Rex Ryan for showing so much hubris, and with all of us Jets fans for showing too much pride in our team (pride being one of the seven deadly sins), and He wants to smote us (or the Jets), or at the very least teach us a lesson? Oh God, that would be awful.

Wait, I've got it! Fellow Jets fans, let us pray.

Dear Lord, we are gathered here together to pray for the New York Jets. May they win this Sunday's game against the San Diego Chargers. And if, by some miracle, you know, like the one You bestowed upon the New York Giants in 2008*, the Jets make it all the way to the Super Bowl, we Jets fans promise to be humble. Amen.

(I know: Who am I kidding? But can't blame a Jets fan for tryin'!)

GO JETS!

UPDATED AT 10:20 AM: This New York Times article, titled "Jets Fans Crave Victory, But Despair Is Never Far," pretty much sums up the mentality of most Jets fans. (For the record, the spouse and I, although Jets fans, picked the Chargers to win in the football pool. Also, author Corey Kilgannon clearly doesn't listen to Joe Benigno, of Joe and Evan, on WFAN, otherwise he'd know that Joe and Evan occupy the midday slot, from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.)

*and the 1969 Jets (thank you, Powaqqatsi)

UPDATED 8 P.M. ON JANUARY 17: OMG! JETS WIN 17-14! IT'S THE UPSET OF THE SEASON!!!

It's going to be a Wild (Card) weekend

Big, big, big weekend football fans. Especially for us Jets fans -- and you Eagles, Cowboys, Patriots, Ravens, Packers, and Cardinals fans.

My prediction: while the Cincinnati Bengals have the better record (10-6 versus the Jets 9-7) and home field advantage and are favored by the odds makers (albeit by only three points), I think the Jets have a real shot at beating the Bengals this Saturday at 4:30 p.m. EST (on NBC) in the first round of the NFL Playoffs. Especially if the Bengals play like they did last weekend.

(And while realistically I don't think the Jets are going all the way to the Super Bowl, at least this year, I wish Joe Namath would just SHUT UP.)

[Slightly O/T: The New York Times has an amusing article about Bengals' wide receiver Chad Ochocinco, who turns 32 on Saturday, in today's online edition, which you can read here.]

As for all those other teams, per the spouse and my 2009/2010 NFL Post-Season Playoff Bracket Pool predictions, in addition to the Jets beating the Bengals, we predict that the Patriots will beat the Ravens in the other AFC Wild Card match-up; and that the Cowboys will beat the Eagles (and you have no idea how hard it was for my Giants-loving, Cowboys-hating spouse to write that in) and the Packers will beat the Cardinals over in the NFC playoffs -- with ultimately the Chargers playing the Vikings in the Super Bowl.

Don't get me wrong, I like the Colts and the Saints, a lot (though not as much as the Jets and the Giants). But, in the case of the Colts, I have this niggling little feeling that the Chargers, assuming they beat the Patriots (or the Ravens) next weekend, which I do, could beat the Colts.

Similarly, while I have absolutely nothing against the New Orleans Saints (other than that they decimated both of my teams, i.e., the Giants and the Jets, this season), I think the Vikings are the team to beat right now (barring something happening to Brett Favre, Adrian Peterson, and Percy Harvin).

So who will you be rooting for this weekend? Let me know via the Comments.

UPDATED 1/9/10: JETS WIN! JETS WIN! Final score: Jets 24 - Bengals 14. As a result of the Jets' win over the Bengals, Chad Ochocinco is changing his name to Chad NoShowCinco.

Are all Jets fans masochists? (UPDATED)

Or just the majority?

(Btw, you can substitute in "Redskins" or "Lions" or "Chiefs" or "Raiders" or "Buccaneers" or "Bears" or "Bills" for "Jets.")

Clearly the folks over at NBC Sports, home of Sunday Night Football, who are sadists, hope so. Ditto the NFL, which moved today's New York Jets vs. Cincinnati Bengals game, the last one of the regular season, from 1 p.m. to 8:20 p.m. ET, no doubt in hopes of attracting a larger audience of masochistic Jets fans -- and sadistic Bengals fans.

I hope the Jets KILL the Bengals. I hope the Jets defense sacks and intercepts Bengals QB Carson Palmer (if he plays tonight) again and again and block and trip up wide receivers Laveranues Coles (formerly a member of the Jets) and Chad Ochocinco (the player formerly known as Chad Johnson) so the Bengals don't score a single touchdown. But in my heart, if I am being honest, I know the Jets have maybe -- maybe -- a 50-50 chance of winning this game, if the Bengals leave in their starters.

Yes, the Jets have possibly the best cornerback in the NFL right now in Darelle Revis (who is going to the Pro Bowl) -- and the rest of the Jets defense ain't too shabby. But I just don't know if Jets QB Mark Sanchez (cute and eager though he is) and the rest of the Jets offense has what it takes to get the job done. But my fellow Jets fans, do correct me if I am wrong.

Btw, Jets management announced this week that tonight's game, the last ever at Giant Stadium, where the temperature is supposed to be a balmy 22 degrees Fahrenheit (7 degrees with the wind chill), will be alcohol free. That should make all those Jets fans attending the game extra happy.

UPDATED 1/4/09: Today I am a happy Jets fan/masochist as last night the New York Jets of New Jersey CLOBBERED the Cincinnati Bengals 37-0. (Watching the game, I wondered if someone had secretly replaced my New York Jets with some other team, or at least the quarterback, cause this New York Jets team looked unstoppable.) Way to go Gang Green! Until next week...

Jets v. Colts: Anyone care to make a wager? (UPDATED)

Gambling911 says the odds opened at Indianapolis -7. (The site also has some very interest stats re the Jets and the Colts. And let me just say it don't look so good for da Jets, Lucy.)

Oddsmakers also predict that tomorrow's New York (Jersey) Jets - Indianapolis Colts game will be among the most heavily bet upon of the 2009 regular NFL season, which ends next weekend.

For those keeping score, the undefeated Colts (14-0) have won twice as many games as the Jets (7-7), but one cannot count out the Jets' mighty defense (or the mighty Flight Crew, which I am hoping will help distract Colts' quarterback Peyton Manning and his offense). And the fact that unbelievable as it may seem the Jets still have a shot of making the playoffs (Giants, too).

Sadly, I will not be able to watch most (all?) of tomorrow's game due to the New England Patriots -- or, to be more exact, certain New England Patriots fans who suggested we meet them at 5 p.m. in the middle of nowhere New England, from where they will spirit away our daughter and indoctrinate her into their Pats and Red Sox cult. (There was also some talk of snowboarding and ice skating and playing Wii, but I think that was just a ruse.) As a result, we will be unable to watch most (if not all) of the Jets - Colts game (as well as the end of the Giants - Panthers game -- go Giants!), though we will hopefully be able to catch some of it on the radio.

As a Jets fan, I have zero expectations. I just want my team to play well (memo to Mark Sanchez: Lose the 'stache, not the ball) and not be totally embarrassed by Peyton Manning and the Colts.

GO JETS! (Giants, too!)

UPDATED: OMG! The Jets won, 29 - 15. Still in shock. Fifteen down, one to go.

Jets SUCK. Giants SUPER SUCK.

Because apparently watching the Mets implode three years in a row wasn't enough.

And here I was really hoping the Giants would recover this week, and CLOBBER the Philadelphia Eagles, especially as Eagles star RB Brian Westbrook was "inactive" for today's game. Ha! Or maybe the Jets would win two games in a row and take revenge on the Miami Dolphins over at Giants Stadium. Nope!

As a result there will be no wearing of waving of the Giants or Jets thongs this week.

Oh, and consider this an open thread. You are free to leave any sports-related or Halloween comments.

Fox Sports, Brett Favre screw Jets fans... again

Yes, I am talkin' 'bout you, Fox Sports, with your World Series and your crappy football halftime show. And you, Brett Lorenzo* Favre, Mr. Did-I-Just-Throw-Another-Pick-Just-Can't-Stay-Retired quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings, who broke the hearts of thousands of New York Jets fans last season.

Thanks to the two of you, and the fact that Favre's new team, the Minnesota Vikings (with their star running back, Adrian Peterson, aka "Purple Jesus") are playing Favre's old team, the Green Bay Packers -- where Brett Favre was the starting quarterback for over 15 years, and led the team to two Super Bowl appearances, before retiring for the first time -- at Lambeau Field at 4:15 ET this Sunday, I, and thousands of Jets and Giants fans, have to take the fall?!

God forbid Fox Sports show the Giants - Eagles game the same time as the Vikings - Packers game. Oh no. No instead, let's just screw the New York area football fans by showing the Giants - Eagles game the same time as the Dolphins - Jets game this Sunday. (Btw, I realize that as both a Giants and a Jets fan I am in the minority, but surely I am not alone in seeing this latest Fox last-minute scheduling switcheroo as a slap in the face to Jets fans everywhere.)

Don't believe me about the power of Fox Sports? For the first time in, like, 20 years there will be no Sunday night football this Sunday. Why? Because Fox Sports is airing the World Series -- where the NY Yankees and the Philadelphia Phillies are tied one game apiece -- Sunday night at 8:20 ET and NBC Sports blinked.

But getting back to Giants vs. Jets, this Sunday, instead of turning our bedroom into a sports bar, I got a friend to take J-THREE-O for a few hours Sunday afternoon so the spouse and I could cheer on the Giants and the Jets at a real sports bar (or the closest thing to a real sports bar you can find within 15 minutes of Stepford). Go G-Men! Go Gang Green!

As for the Vikings - Packers game, though the spouse will probably be rooting for the Vikings ("Adrian Peterson!"), I will probably be rooting for Green Bay.

*Lorenzo? Really? Who knew?

Jets, Yankees win. Giants and their fans lose. Plus World Series and Super Bowl predictions.

If only the Jets could play every game in sunny, 70 degree weather against a team like the Oakland Raiders. But as a certain Phillies fan friend of ours (yes, we have friends who are Phillies fans - okay, one friend) likes to say: A win is a win is a win. And we Jets fans will take it. Final score: Jets 38, Raiders 0. And the Jets take the No. 2 spot in the AFC East, behind the New England Patriots.

Moving right along.... As you may recall, last night's question was "Yankees or Giants?" (Going to a sports bar or turning our bedroom back into a sports bar was not an option.) The answer: the Yankees. (It was the spouse's call, and at least he allowed me to work the remote and occasionally flip over the Giants game.) Final score: Yankees 5, Angels 2. And again, the California team choked.

This means, of course, that it will be the New York Yankees taking on the defending champion Philadelphia Phillies at Yankee Stadium in the World Series this Wednesday night at 7:30 ET on Fox. And for the duration I will be one of those "Mets Fans for the Yankees," albeit begrudgingly. Go Yankees. Yea. My World Series prediction? I actually think the Phillies will win again this year, but that the Series will go to six or seven games.

But getting back to football. As I did not watch most of the Giants - Cardinals game, and the Giants lost (thanks in large part to three Eli Manning interceptions), that's about all I am going to say on that subject. However, while watching the other football games that were not competing with the Yankees - Angels game, namely the Minnesota Vikings - Pittsburgh Steelers game yesterday (Steelers won 27-17 in an exciting game), I came up with a new drinking game, which I call "Adrian Peterson, blah, blah, blah." Here's how it works: Every time an announcer shouts the name "Adrian Peterson," you have to drink a shot or take a swig of beer. Chances are you will be blasted by the half. Oh and the Saints won, again. Blah, blah, blah.

In other football news, the Colts, Broncos, and Saints remain undefeated at 6-0 going into Week 8, when AGAIN, thanks to Fox Sports and Brett Favre, the Jets and the Giants and now the Eagles (who will be playing the Giants) will all be playing at 1 p.m. ET. WTF people?! Again with the same game time? Not cool.

Oh and as for my Super Bowl prediction (drum roll, please): I'm seeing the Indianapolis Colts vs. the New Orleans Saints, but I would not be surprised if the New England Patriots or the Minnesota Vikings made it in either. Okay, you heard it here first.

But for this week, it's all baseball. Go Yankees! (Ouch. I think I just pulled something.)