More powerful than the Large Hadron Collider, it's Facebook! Plus, a stimulating new migraine cure!

While scientists and journalists have been debating whether the Large Hadron Collider, the gigantic particle accelerator located under the border of France and Switzerland, could create a life-sucking black hole that would slowly pull all of mankind into its maw when it is finally switched on in September (by actor Tom Hanks, no less), they have entirely neglected an existing, much more life-threatening, life-sucking, gigantic instrument of destruction. I am, of course, referring to Facebook.

Don't believe me? Well then, what about the numbers? And we all know numbers don't lie.

Facebook currently has more than 175 million active users (including yours truly), with the over 30 crowd being the fastest growing user group. If Facebook was a country, it would be the sixth most populous, just behind Brazil and ahead of Pakistan. And according to Facebook, its citizens spend more than 3 billion minutes (combined) each day on the site. Three billion minutes, folks, gone. Never to return again. Scary.

And just like the Large Hadron Collider has lured scientists to do unspeakable things in the name of science, Facebook has lured hundreds of thousands of application developers and entrepreneurs to create unspeakable applications and tools for the site. But that's just the tip of the iceberg -- or event horizon of the black hole that is Facebook (to not mix metaphors).

Every day, millions of Facebook users go to the site, ignoring their work, their families, and loved ones to post photographs (more than 850 million photos are uploaded to the site each month), videos (more than 5 million of which are uploaded each month), leave comment-inducing status updates (more than 15 million of them each day), form or join groups, and create fan pages.

Can this be good for productivity? I think not.

Case in point, on Friday I was writing an article, which happens to be about managing social media (i.e., Facebook) in the workplace, when I get a ping from Facebook, from a girl I went to elementary school with, who I haven't heard from in, like, over 30 years, who commented on a picture of me from third grade, which a mutual Facebook friend put up.

So I, of course, had to write her back.

Then I go back to my article and the spouse walks into my office. And, of course, I now have to show him the photo of me (and this girl), which I put on my Facebook profile, again taking time away from working on my article.

The spouse looks at the photo, then looks at the notes on my desk, and he says "Facebook is the reason this country is in a recession." I think that might be a little harsh, but I'm going to put the question up for comment on my Facebook page and see if others think it's true.

In other scientific news... As many of you know, I suffer from migraines. I have tried many cures and methods of prevention over the years, with varying degrees of success, but it never occurred to me that a cost-free cure had been right next to and available to me all the time. I am, of course, referring to sex.

Yes, dear readers, scientists have found that having sex may actually alleviate a headache, especially a migraine. Of course, when I first heard about this new cure, I thought it was simply a male plot, but I have actually experimented with this concept several times now and it does, in fact, work, or at least alleviate the pain temporarily. (For more on this stimulating topic, click on the link, which includes a short video.)

I would write more, but I feel a headache coming on, and I have yet to check Facebook this morning.

"Why do little boys want to blow up frogs?"

The title of this blog post is in quotes because I did not say it, my spouse did -- in response to my somewhat rhetorical questions regarding the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland, which I posed to him over breakfast Friday morning.

"Why are these scientists spending BILLIONS of dollars to see a bunch of subatomic particles fly around and smash into each other?" I asked him while sucking down some Cheerios. "What is that going to get us?" To which he calmly replied, "Why do little boys want to blow up frogs?"

After more than 17 years, he finally found a way to (momentarily) shut me up. And I still don't have an answer. (Btw, if anyone reading this -- Dave S.? -- knows why little boys want to blow up frogs, please do leave a comment.)

In fact, the more I have thought about it, the more I am 99.9% certain that it never once occurred to me to blow up a frog. (Men, on the other hand, are a different story.) In fact, I would hazard that most females have not given much thought to frog demolition. But I digress.

The subject I am trying to get at (or to) is the Large Hadron Collider, which, per CERN's website (see link above): "is a particle accelerator used by physicists to study the smallest known particles – the fundamental building blocks of all things. It will revolutionise our understanding, from the minuscule world deep within atoms to the vastness of the Universe."

It could also create a tiny black hole that could quickly grow and reduce our big blue marble to a little black cinder . Pretty cool, huh?

Apparently, I was not the only NY Times reader who was morbidly fascinated and more than slightly unsettled by (What, me worry? You betcha!) the thought of the Earth being "eaten" by a man-made black hole. My favorite NY Times columnist, Gail Collins, also read the article by her colleague, Dennis Overbye, and then wrote a column about it, which appeared on Thursday.

As I already have enough to worry about, and am quick to worry (though strangely the thought of being sucked down a black hole, along with everyone I love, doesn't worry me as much as the thought of terrorists blowing up my flight to London next week or the possibility that the 757 we are scheduled to take is one of the ones American decided not to perform a necessary safety inspection of), I wasn't going to read Ms. Collins's column. But I happened to have "Morning Joe" on as I was getting ready Thursday and who should Mr. (Joe) Scarborough have on as a guest but -- you guessed it, Gail Collins. I reached for the remote to change the channel, but it was too late. I was sucked in.

I really do hope that the folks at CERN know what they are doing and that the safety inspectors aren't the same guys responsible for making sure airplanes are safe to fly. But I would feel a lot better if instead of trying to smash together subatomic particles those European scientists would have stuck to blowing up frogs (though I quite like frogs and do not wish them harm).

[For the record, my husband, who is reading this post while standing over my shoulder, just informed me that he did, in fact, once blow up a frog. Furthermore, he suggested I find an image of a frog with a firecracker in its mouth. I looked but could not find one. I am so ashamed... for so many reasons.]