The cutest (and tiniest) Thanksgiving ever?

We here at J-TWO-O love a good Thanksgiving feast. And this year, for the first time, the teenager, who loves to cook, will be preparing all the food.

She has already ordered a turkey from the butcher, and plans on making cornbread stuffing, cranberry sauce, and Brussels sprouts to accompany the bird, which, she informs us, will be spatchcocked (which means the cornbread stuffing will actually be dressing). For dessert, she is planning on making a pumpkin cheesecake.

But rather than tell you about our Thanksgiving preparations, allow me to show you how I envision Thanksgiving going down in our house....



I am still trying to decide if I am the dust bunny or the teenager is.

[I adore HelloDenizen's "Tiny Hamster" videos, but he may have outdone himself with "A Tiny Hamster Thanksgiving."]

Wishing you all a very happy, and tasty, Thanksgiving...

Can we please have a moratorium on Christmas...

At least until after Thanksgiving?

I don't care how incredibly cute the John Lewis 2014 Christmas advert featuring Monty the Penguin is...


(And it is insulin-injection-needed-stat cute.)

I do NOT want to see advertising for Christmas on November 7th...

When I beheld the ad above and this Christmas spectacle at Stamford Town Center, featuring Santa Claus, several elves, and Christmas music being blasted from speakers...

And I especially do NOT want to start celebrating Christmas on November 1st (when the Crowne Plaza in New Orleans put up its Christmas decorations), or on November 6th (which also happens to be my birthday and when John Lewis published its Monty the Penguin Christmas advert), or pick your date in November!

Nor do I want to celebrate Christmas (or Hanukkah, for that matter) on Thanksgiving. (DO YOU HEAR ME, RETAILERS? Apparently not, except for you, Nordstrom and Costco. For which I thank you.)

Can't a girl enjoy the fall, and some turkey and stuffing, in peace, without feeling pressured to shop? (I'm pretty sure the mas in Christmas does not stand for mas shopping.)

I am so exasperated, I am thinking of starting a petition on Change.org. But before I do, I would love some feedback from all of you. Do you think I'm a Scrooge and that we should start celebrating Christmas as soon as Halloween has ended? Or do you think, like me, that the Christmas season should not begin until December 1st? Please let me know via a (respectful, non-abusive) comment.

I wish you a merry November.

Thanksgiving: BUSTED

[Alternate title: Everything I know about Thanksgiving I learned from The Brady Bunch.]

Did you know that Thanksgiving did not become a national holiday until 1863? Or that there was no turkey, or cranberry sauce (or cranberry relish or jelly), or sweet potatoes or pumpkin pie -- or forks -- at the first Thanksgiving (or what we citizens of the United States assume to have been the first Thanksgiving) back in 1621? Or that the Pilgrims didn't wear buckles on their hats? (I know!)

Those are just a few of the "25 Little Known Facts About Thanksgiving" that the good folks at Mental Floss reveal in their latest video:



Well, however you celebrate it, I wish you a happy -- and delicious -- Thanksgiving.

And thanks for reading J-TWO-O!

I want a deep-fried turkey

I saw this video, titled "Eat, Fry, Love: A Cautionary Remix*," featuring Master Thespian and deep-fried turkey lover William Shatner, on a friend's Facebook page. And, of course, I had to share it with all of you, if only so that I would not be the only one singing "I want a deep-fried turkey. I want a moister, tastier turkey" to myself for the next 24 hours.



Wishing everyone a tasty and safe Thanksgiving.

Dingle dangle. Dingle dangle.

*Though it should be called "Eat, Fry, Love: A Cautionary Thanksgiving Tale."

And speaking of turkeys: It's Thanksgiving

I was trawling YouTube in search of a funny Thanksgiving song to share with you, my loyal readers. Instead I came across this turkey -- the latest worst song ever, a new viral video titled "It's Thanksgiving" by 12-year-old aspiring Rebecca Black wannabee Nicole Westbrook. The song, like "Friday," was written and produced by Patrice Wilson.

(So don't say I didn't warn you.)



Here's a taste of the lyrics:

December was Christmas. (Christmas) January was New Year (New Year). April was Easter. And the 4th of July, but now it’s Thanksgiving.

Oh oh oh it’s Thanksgiving. We we we we are gonna have a good time.
Oh oh oh it’s Thanksgiving. (alright) We we we are gonna have a good time.
With a turkey, eh mash potatoes eh, and we we we are gonna have a good time.
With a turkey, eh mash potatoes eh!
It’s Thanksgiving
It’s Thanksgiving

Yo. It’s Thanksgiving giving giving and I’m trying to be forgiving. (come on girl)
Nothing is forbidden. You know we I gotta have.
I gotta give thanks to you, and you, and you.
Can’t be hateful, gotta be grateful.
Gotta be grateful, can’t be hateful.
Mash potatoes on my – on my table.
I got ribs smelling up my neighbor’s cribs. (alright)
Can’t deny
Havin’ good times
We’d be laughing till we cry

Speaking of laughing till we cry... I could be wrong, but I'm guessing "It's Thanksgiving" may be with us until (or after) it's Christmas -- making music critics and others who make a living penning snark thankful to have something new to write about, while making the rest of us thankful for the Mute button.

Amen.

More like Fat Friday

Groan.

We cooked. We ate. We cleaned.

Behold, the power -- and yumminess -- of the first J-TWO-O Thanksgiving! (To see what we made, along with the recipes, click here.)


































































































And we have, surprisingly, not a ridiculous amount of leftovers, and not just because we let Felix (our black cat) share in the turkey. But I seriously don't know how people have the energy to go shopping at 3 or 4 or 5 (or even 9 or 10) a.m. the day after Thanksgiving. Us? We can barely move. (At dinner last night my daughter said "Black Friday? More like Fat Friday, though I guess people need to go shopping because now they need a new pair of pants." So young and yet so wise.)

That said, I may waddle wander out and check out some sales later today.

In other big Thanksgiving-related news: The Jets won!!! In regulation!!! 26-10!!! (As predicted, I fell asleep just before the start of the fourth quarter, but the spouse broke the news to me this morning.) Seriously, this may have been the best Thanksgiving ever. Great food. No traffic. No arguing at the dinner table. And the Jets hold onto first place in the AFC East (though I in no way count the Patriots out).

Life is good.

Let's talk turkey (and football)

For the first time in memory, I am spending Thanksgiving (also known as Turkey Day) at home this year. And that's just fine by me. Not that there is anything wrong with spending Thanksgiving away from home.

All of my life (as far back as I can remember), I have enjoyed Thanksgiving in someone else's home (mainly my aunt and uncle's, who put out a great spread but live about 3 hours away and my neck and back can't take the long car trip at this point) or else at some hotel somewhere (typically someplace warmer and/or more exotic than here, often involving chocolate). But I am quite looking forward to making the traditional Thanksgiving meal, in my own kitchen, with the spouse and the kid; eating it right here; and then watching the Jets tackle the Bengals.

Anyway, for those who are interested, here is what we are making for our first Thanksgiving:

Brined and roasted turkey (courtesy of Emeril Lagasse)

Simple and amazing cranberry sauce

Mushroom stuffing (courtesy of Rachael Ray)

Brussel sprouts

And for dessert:

Mark Sanchez. Oops. I meant Paula Deen's pumpkin cheesecake. ;-)

(Can you tell we watch a LOT of Food Network, can you?)

Speaking of Mark Sanchez -- and the New York Jets -- could you guys please win a football game by the start of the fourth quarter and spare us fans having to make appointments to get fitted for a pacemaker? You boys are killing me. Though considering the amount of turkey I plan on consuming tomorrow, I may not be able to stay awake into the fourth quarter of tomorrow night's Jets vs. Cincinnati Bengals matchup at home (in New Jersey) at New Meadowlands Stadium.

In the meantime, I wish everyone reading this blog post a very happy Thanksgiving. I am grateful -- and will be giving thanks -- for each one of you.

Also, GO JETS!!!

Giving Thanks

As Thanksgiving is only two days away, I thought this an appropriate time and space to give thanks to all the people, things, and events I am thankful for this year.

I am thankful...

* that I have a spouse who not only loves me but supports all of my endeavors, including this blog (on which he often comments).

* that I have a daughter who can't say "I love you" enough; who does her homework without being asked; and who loves to learn and to read and to write. (Now if only we could get her to clean up after herself....)

* to have two affectionate cats who keep me company and make me laugh in sickness and in health (one of whom is currently batting a rubber ball all over our wooden-floored house and the other of whom is pawing my hands as I type and swishing her tail across my monitor).

* for all of YOU, my blog readers, especially the ones who take the extra time to leave a comment. (With special shout outs to Dave S., who is like the brother I never had and always wanted -- and was the one who encouraged me to blog, and EMM, who makes me laugh, over at Potpourri for $500; Larissa and her haikus; my mother, who reads EVERY blog post, bless her, and always emails me a nice comment; "Moishie," also one of my most devoted readers, who leaves me funny comments; Tommy over at Blah Blog Blah; "Betty" over at Betty Cracker, one of the best political blogs to come out of this election year; and Melanie, the estimable mistress of BeanPaste, one of the funniest, sweetest, and tastiest blogs on the Web, who gave me two honorable mentions and links recently, for which I am most grateful.)

* similarly that there is this wondrous thing called "the blogosphere," which has given me (and a lot of other folks, for better and/or for worse) an outlet to say the things (well, at least some of the things) I've always wanted to say or write -- and allowed me to discover many other wonderful writers, thinkers, and photographers (many of whom are listed in my blogroll, to the right, which I recommend you check out) whom I may not otherwise have known about.

* for the work opportunities I have had and the new ones awaiting me.

* for the roof over my head, especially now that it no longer leaks.

* for the delicious food I hope to be eating over Thanksgiving break.

* for my health and the good health of my family and friends.

* that BOTH the Jets and the Giants are in first place. (And Lord, if it's not too much to ask, a Jets vs. Giants Super Bowl XLIII?)

* that Barack Hussein Obama will be our 44th President -- and that Sarah Palin will NOT be the Vice President (at least not for the next four years). For both these things, I am especially grateful.

What are you grateful for this Thanksgiving? Leave a comment and let me know.