18 Shades of J., Chapter 2: Dirty laundry

I promised you I would reveal more secrets, dear reader, and I am a woman who keeps my promises. When it is convenient.

While some women go to great lengths to hide it, today I will share with you my dirty laundry. Not all of it, of course. For I doubt you could handle it. Indeed, the shear weight of it could make a man's knees buckle.

And while I am not usually one to kiss and tell, I confess there must be a hundred kisses contained in that basket, if not more. Fortunately, in a few hours, less, I will have washed away all my stains and no one will be the wiser.

You want me to tell you another secret?

I did not make the bed this morning.

I can see your shock. But I could not give a sheet. I am a busy woman with many masters to please.

Ah, look at the time. I fear I must go, dear friends. The pool boy will be here any minute. But if you would like me to reveal another secret, leave a Comment.

[To read 18 Shades of J., the first chapter, click here.]

18 Shades of J.

What you are about to read is the truth.

I have many secrets, and now, finally, I will reveal some of them to you.

I have 18 shades.

And I warn you, some of them are quite blue.

Others are opaque. So no one can see me.

Some are translucent, shedding just a hint of light on what really goes on here.

Look closely, however, and you just might spy a glimpse of pussy...

cat.

(Geez, people. Get your minds out of the gutter.)

To be continued...?

Now that's a marriage proposal!

It was a beautiful night. Isaac was looking for something dumb to do.

Hey Amy, Isaac wants to marry you.



Love the dancing Jews.

Mazel tov.

This is how you propose marriage, people!

More about Isaac Lamb's awesome karaoke "Marry You" proposal to girlfriend Amy Frankel here.

Time for some girl on grill action

You know how to tell when summer has truly arrived (at least here in the Northeast)? When Weber Grills starts airing its "Have Fun With It" ad.



Whenever I see the Weber ad (or, more accurately, hear the song Weber commissioned for the ad, "You Light Me Up"), I want to get up and grill -- or dance around it, whacking my big metal grilling spatula against my hip like it's a tambourine.

I love me some good bbq -- and good summer weather.  

So what do you have cookin' this afternoon?

[The spouse is smoking ribs and making beer-can chicken in our Weber smoker and grilling some corn to go with. Mm mm mm. Will add photos later.]

Behold, the power of the smoker! Presenting... the spouse's beer-can chicken and ribs (with corn on the side):

He's sexy and he knows it (Times Square edition)

When he walks on by, girls be lookin' like, Damn, he's fly.

When he walks in Times Square, this is what he sees,
Everybody stops and is staring at he.
He's got passion in his pants, and he ain't afraid to show it.

He's sexy and he knows it.

Though where are the animal prints and the big afro?

Still, this guy had no problem finding tourists to pay to take a picture with him. (Wha?! Say look at that body.)

Sadly, I do not remember what his sign said. It was so crowded in Times Square last night, and people kept coming up to have their picture taken with this guy. I was lucky to get this picture, with my crappy BlackBerry camera.

Only in New York.

A flock of seagulls singing A Flock of Seagulls

Yes, I am easily amused. But, having been a big Flock of Seagulls fan back in the day, I find this Cape Cod Potato Chips commercial, featuring a flock of seagulls singing A Flock of Seagulls' "I ran," particularly amusing.



I walked along the sandy beach,
I never thought I'd meet a gull like you-oo-oo,
Meet a gull like you-oo-oo....

Cape Cod Potato Chips rock. (They also taste really good.)

[Bonus points if you spotted the blond toupee on the lead gull.]

Banana bread, it's what's for breakfast

When life gives you mushy bananas, make banana bread, I say.

What did you have for breakfast?

Btw, for those interested, this banana bread recipe, from Simply Recipes, could not be simpler to make -- or more yummy. Note: to make the banana bread even yummier, add 1/2 cup of raisins.

Banana Bread Recipe

• Prep time: 5 minutes
• Cook time: 1 hour

Ingredients

• 3 or 4 ripe bananas, smashed
• 1/3 cup melted butter
• 1 cup sugar (can easily reduce to 3/4 cup)
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• Pinch of salt
• 1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour

Method

No need for a mixer for this recipe. Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). With a wooden spoon, mix butter into the mashed bananas in a large mixing bowl. Mix in the sugar, egg, and vanilla. Sprinkle the baking soda and salt over the mixture and mix in. Add the flour last, mix. Pour mixture into a buttered 4x8 inch loaf pan. Bake for 1 hour. Cool on a rack. Remove from pan and slice to serve.

Yield: Makes one loaf.

Mmm...