Donald Trump and Pussy Galore

While pretty much everything that spews forth out of Donald Trump's mouth is vile, I just cannot get worked up over his use of the word pussy. Seriously, of all the slang and pejorative terms for a woman's genitalia, aka vagina (rhymes with China), pussy is the one we're having issues with? Seriously?

[Btw, if you didn't see Samantha Bee's "Vagina Monologue" in her segment on the Donald Trump Access Hollywood tape last night, you can watch it here. It is must-see TV IMO.]

But getting back to pussies.... You people ever hear of a book, later made into a film by the same name, called Goldfinger, featuring a guy by the name of James Bond? The film, released in 1964, was tremendously popular and some 40-plus years after it was made you can still watch it on TBS and BBC America regularly.

Any of you recall the name of the femme fatale in Goldfinger? Here, let me help you, Pussy Galore. I don't recall it inciting riots, then or now, but I am sure someone will correct me if I am wrong. (FYI, in the book, Galore was a lesbian.)

Donald Trump was likewise dreaming if he thought that women wanted him to grab them -- by their pussy, or anyplace else -- and kiss them. Though, this scene from the film, as described in Wikipedia, sounds frighteningly Trumpian:

"Bond corners Galore in a barn and forcibly holds her down (while she tries hard to fight him off) and kisses her. The film then shows a massive change in personality where she seems to welcome the earlier assault, putting her arms around Bond. She then secretly turns against Goldfinger."

Maybe the problem with Donald Trump is that he thinks he's James Bond.

While we are on the topic of James Bond and women, who could forget this priceless (totally male chauvinistic) exchange from Diamonds Are Forever?



Ivanka is lucky she wasn't named after her father. Otherwise we might now know her as Short-Fingered Vulgarian or Cheeto Jesus or Clown Face.

NOTE: To anyone reading this who thinks I am in any way condoning Trump's behavior, I am not. There is zero excuse for sexual assault. But many people (see "Trump Supporters") seem to be way more worked up about the use of the word pussy than by Trump's actions, which is wrong.

Fact checking Donald Trump's penis

Donald Trump is very sensitive about the size of his... fingers.

Of course, we all know why Mr. Trump is touchy about the length of his fingers. It's because, as researchers in Korea found, there is a correlation between the length of a man's fingers and the length of his penis.

So when, 25 years ago, Graydon Carter, then the editor of Spy Magazine, referred to the Donald as a "short-fingered vulgarian," the Orange One took it as personal assault to his manhood. And he has spent the last 25 years insisting that his appendages are, in fact, not small but big. Really big. Make that really really big. We're talking yuge.

Frankly, I'm tired of hearing about Donald Trump's "fingers." (Frankly, I'm tired of hearing about, and from, Donald Trump period.) So I have a proposal: Have one (or more) of the fact checking organizations, say PolitiFact.com or FactCheck.org, get out their measuring tapes and actually measure the length of Trump's various appendages to see if, in fact, they are shorter than average, average, or bigger than average. Heck, measure all the Republican dicks while they're at it, to see who is who's got the biggest one.

Then we can see who is telling the truth.

(As reported in Men's Health, "the average flaccid penis length—from the base to the opening on the tip—[is] 3.6 inches and the circumference, measured around the base or mid-shaft, [is] 3.7 inches." The length of the average erect penis: 5.2 inches.)

You're welcome, America.

THIS JUST IN: From friend of the blog Fact Lovin' Liberal, "Hillary weighs in":

And that's why you shouldn't tattoo your private bits, boys

Some blog posts just can't be improved upon. So instead of me explaining why tattooing one's penis* is a bad idea, I will let MSNBC.com's Brian Alexander explain it to you. (Just click on the hyperlinked text to read the post.)

*with the phrase "good luck on your journeys" and your girlfriend's initial(s)