Where's your beach?

As a kid, I didn't like, or appreciate, the beach. The ocean scared me -- and was too cold. The sand got in everything -- and was too hot. And there always seemed to be too many people -- yet I had no one to play with.

What a difference a few years, and working in an office, make. Now I pine for the beach -- a warm, sandy beach with ocean waves lapping the shore. Indeed, few things soothe and de-stress me more than a long walk along the beach in the early morning or late in the day. Heaven.

Over the years, I have had the good fortune to visit many wonderful beaches across the United States and abroad -- from Massachusetts to Long Island; North Carolina to Florida; California to Hawaii. Each of them has their charms.

I love Sanibel Island, Florida, for the shelling...

Bermuda for its pink sand, warm water (in summer), and swimming with the fishes...

and St. Martin for the amazing beachfront sunsets...

But only on Kiawah Island, in South Carolina, can you go walking and biking along the beach for miles...

and yet feel like you are the only ones there...

Indeed, with 10 miles of beach to explore, Kiawah is a beach-lover's paradise, where you never know what (or who) you will stumble across.

Perhaps a toy boat...

 Or a bright yellow dump truck...

A sunbathing whelk...

Or a stranded jellyfish...

The beach at Kiawah is even beautiful when clouded over by an approaching storm...

So where's your beach?

Let me know via the Comments.

I'd rather be on St. Martin

As many of you know, I do not like winter. I do not like the cold (even though it hasn't been that cold this winter). I do not like snow (though we've barely had any this season). And I do not like to ski (or snowboard).

Give me sun, sand, and surf -- 80-degree days and 65-degree nights, with just a sprinkling of precipitation and cloud cover, so I don't burn -- and a spectacular sunset every evening, and I am one happy woman. Throw in great food (which someone else cooks) and not having to clean or make the beds or run errands for five or six days, and I am in heaven. Or St. Martin. Specifically Grand Case, St. Martin.













































































Indeed, if you could bottle the awesomeness that is St. Martin, I'm pretty sure this is what it would look like.






















Now you can understand why I miss St. Martin, and hope to return...one day (after I have won the lottery).

Sigh.

Life's a beach... which is why you need a bikini

So dear, wonderful, marvelous friends of ours who live in Massachusetts (you know who you are) invited J-THREE-O to come stay with them for a week -- last week -- and attend the summer art camp at the MFA with their daughter. So the spouse and I decided to take off a few days and go to Block Island.

The trip was nearly derailed at the last minute when the proprietor of the inn we were to stay at called the night before we were to leave to inform us there had been a plumbing disaster and our room was not habitable. However, she said, they could put us up in a smaller room with no view or reserve us a room similar to the one we had reserved just down the block, at Payne's Harbor View Inn (which hadn't received as great reviews on TripAdvisor as the place we had booked).

To further dampen my once euphoric mood, it had been POURING all day, and the forecast wasn't looking too good for the next day or two -- and we had planned on bringing our bikes (just our bikes, no car, which we couldn't bring).

I was ready to cancel, and save us (okay, me) some money and heartache, but the spouse convinced me that we should go, taking the room at Payne's Harbor View. And boy am I glad he did! (More below.)



















































While the weather was not great (cloudy and relatively cool -- but no rain!), it was perfect for biking and walking. And, on a trip into town to look for footwear (I somehow forgot my sandals at home), I found... a bikini!!!

Apparently I had been looking for a bikini in all the wrong places, namely in swimsuit shops and in the women's swimsuit department.

As it happens, I am a perfect Size 14. Girls, that is. Which I discovered while looking at swimsuits in a sports apparel store on Block Island. I hadn't planned on going in the store, but then I saw a rack of colorful swimsuits, which I made a beeline for -- and immediately found a nice-looking bikini. But I could not believe the tag, which said it was a size 14. A size 14?! Maybe that "1" was a mistake.

So I asked the saleswoman to tell me what size the itsy bitsy polka dot bikini was. She took a look. "It's a size 14," she confirmed. "A girls size 14."

Now while some of my female readers will huff and puff about me being petite enough to fit into a Girls Size 14 anything, let me tell you that the thrill of being able to buy your clothes at GapKids wears off after about five minutes. Also, you cannot buy work dresses or suits at GapKids. And really, would you want to look like a barely adolescent female, with no breasts and the added bonus of a flabby flat ass?

Yes, having a taught tummy is nice, but so are breasts. And did I mention all the stretch marks and wrinkles (on my face) I have accumulated over the years? (During the trip I decided my Indian -- excuse me, Native American -- name should be "Squinto" or "Many Crows Feet.")

Anyway, I bought the suit, and proceeded to wear it around Block Island, and the world didn't end. Hey, if Helen Mirren can do it, so can I (and she's got over 20 years on me)!

No bull

Holy cow, have you ever seen a lovelier heifer? And those yellow ear tags totally set off her bovine brown eyes, don't you think?















Back in the States, sigh, but wishing we were still in Ireland with its breathtaking scenery...
































where the only "bull" I encountered was on a field of grass.

Indeed, not watching or reading the "bull" that often passes news these days -- for a whole week! -- was a breath of fresh (Irish) air in itself. As was trading Facebook time for actual face time with friends. (I wish we all lived closer together!)

All the above pictures, btw, were taken from the Silver Strand House, our friends' self-catering establishment on the West Coast of Ireland, near Westport. Though the cow we found just down the road, near the entrance to the beach. (Note: If or when you go to Ireland, make sure you get to the often overlooked West Coast, and climb or at least lay eyes on Croagh Patrick, where St. Patrick reportedly drove the snakes from Ireland, and tour the Connemara. And spend a night or two at the Silver Strand House, which is located in one of the most breathtaking spots the spouse and I have ever been to, with miles of ocean right outside your window.)

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields and,
Until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Beh

I feel a little sheepish about posting these pictures...






























































Especially after having leg of lamb two nights in a row. But after spending six days in Ireland I've grown very fond of my furry friends. And, hey, the pictures are waaay better than our lame lamb jokes....

Q: What was the lamb's favorite Lady Gaga song?
A: "Baad Romaance"

(Hey, we spent a lot of time in the car -- and saw a lot of sheep.)

Q: Where do sheep like to go on vacation?
A: The Baahaamaas

(And I mean a LOT of sheep.)

Q: What fruit do sheep like to eat?
A: Baanaanaas

(And it passed the time. And, okay, we totally cracked ourselves up.)

Isle of Ewe all...

Bath time

Millions of gallons of oil leaking into the Gulf of Mexico... Images of pelicans covered in brown goo, unable to fly or move... Politicians too busy campaigning or sniping at each other day and night to actually get anything done... Unemployment still too high and the housing market still at an all-time low... Bieber Fever raging out of control... Calgon, take me away! (I wanted to embed this classic 1970s ad for Calgon, which is a must see, but the embedding was disabled. Boo. Instead, click on the link.)






















Don't know about you, but I could use a break from the 24/7 news cycle (nearly all of it depressing) -- and the stresses of everyday life. (Question: Why does everything decide to break down at the same time? Do appliances talk to each other and say "Let's stick it to the humans"? And what is with the cat puking all over the place just before you go away?) So I am taking a few days off to recharge my batteries, get a new lattitude, and celebrate the 10th Wedding Anniversary of two very dear friends.






















Hopefully, I will return in a better mood (though flying through Newark Liberty and driving on the New Jersey Turnpike during rush hour is enough to challenge -- or crush -- even the best of moods).

In the meantime, consider this an open thread -- your invitation to discuss whatever you like in my absence (though I will be checking email periodically and will delete any inappropriate comments -- so in the words of Austin Powers, behave).

Obama Mania - The Sequel, Hurricane Bill (not Clinton!), Idol and DWTS news, plus ENOUGH with The Jacksons and Jon and Kate

Just spent four blissful days on Martha's Vineyard (aka "the summer White House") visiting with good friends and was (pretty much) blissfully unaware of what was going on on the mainland or even on the island, except that President Obama and his family were about to visit Martha's Vineyard and Islanders were suffering from an acute case of Obama mania.

Everywhere you went there was some store or restaurant showcasing its Obama-themed wares and/or Obama-themed menu items in the hopes of making up for an otherwise less-than-great retail season. (Anyone for an Obamarita?)

The only other "news" story that really crossed my radar while we were away was "Hurricane Bill," because we are all about the weather. Of course, when I first saw the headline re "Hurricane Bill" I immediately thought "Uh oh, what has Bill Clinton done NOW?" But, much to my (and I am sure Hillary's, though not the island of Bermuda's) relief, this Hurricane Bill is just a bunch of hot air (oh wait) -- I mean, the first hurricane of the Atlantic season, and currently a Category 2 storm.

Equally distressing (okay, not equally, but still distressing), I just discovered that for some reason The Jacksons are STILL in the news, as are Jon and Kate. ("Viewers' sympathies swing from Jon to Kate"!)

In other breaking "reality" TV news, former Conservative House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-TX) will be on (oh-so-wrongly-named*) Dancing with the Stars this season (as will Donny Osmond, Macy Gray, Aaron Carter, Melissa Joan Hart, and Kathy Ireland, to name just a few), while, sadly, Paula Abdul, who may be returning to American Idol after all (yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus), will not be.

And that, I believe, is enough for one blog post. (Happy now, Powaqqatsi? ; )

*For the sake of truth in advertising, the show should really be called Dancing with the B-List Actors, Models, the High-Profile Football Guy (this year's entry, Michael Irvin!) and/or Race Car Driver, and People Who Are Trying to Jump Start Their Careers (which may be redundant).

Playing hooky at Citi Field... watching the Mets trounce the Rockies 7 - 0

It's always nice when your team wins. But it's especially nice when you are attending the game at the ballpark. And today was an especially nice day. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. (At least I think they were singing. It was a little hard to hear them over the sound of the planes taking off and landing at LaGuardia.) And this afternoon the New York Mets beat the Colorado Rockies 7 - 0 (in well under three hours!).

Johan Santana pitched for the Mets and did an excellent job. And the Mets scored five runs in the bottom of the second inning to take the lead -- and never let it go.

The spouse and I and our friend M--- had a fantastic time at Citi Field (our first time at the Mets new stadium). And my only regret is that I didn't have one of those ginormous lenses for my Nikon D70. But at least I have the memories.

Play ball!

Vacation all I ever wanted

I had almost forgotten what the sun looked and felt like.

For those of you who actually thought I was hiking the Appalachian Trail and/or working on my book, I was actually on Kiawah Island, in South Carolina, where the family and I spent a wonderful, relaxing week, swimming, biking on the beach, and watching the Fourth of July fireworks from the deck of our cozy "villa."















The weather was perfect. The people could not have been nicer. And I can honestly say I did not miss cooking, or doing the laundry, or cleaning, or working one little bit. And I have tan lines! (Well, sort of.)

: )

I'm off to hike the Appalachian Trail and work on my book

In my absence, my staff will be handling the blog and fielding queries and comments (as well as mice).
































Please be patient if you do not receive an immediate response. The staff is very busy at present, but will eventually get to your query.




If I manage to get an Internet connection, may post this coming week. If not will be back the week of July 6, hopefully with tan lines.

Oh, the things you can see at the zoo

Can you scratch a little bit to the left?

That's some toothpick.

Here kitty, kitty...

Guess he was happy to see me.

Up next: SeaWorld (though am a little nervous about my affect on Shamu).