Flying pasties, racing snails, and why you should never argue with an ibex

In this week's chapter of News of the Weird, J-TWO-O brings you the latest must-have item for frequent flyers (particularly if they happen to be in the adult film industry, Vegas showgirls, or work for Hooters), flying pasties; the results from the World Snail Racing Championships in England; and why you should never argue with an ibex.

First up, Flying Pasties. But before proceeding, I have to admit I was a bit hesitant to blog about this subject, even though I have blogged about breasts (and things that cover them) on several occasions.

Maybe it's the word pasties, or it could be the voluptuous pastie-only clad model on FlyingPasties.com. But, heck, if that bastion of the Right, the Wall Street Journal, can write about Flying Pasties, gosh darn it, so can I!

In a (coco) nut shell: Flying Pasties are, and I quote, "meant to obscure your private parts when entering a typical airport scanner," thereby protecting your privacy.

You can learn more about these little rubber privacy protectors at FlyingPasties.com -- or via the WSJ article (which I linked to).

Btw, I love the quote from the "Pilots of America" on the site: "Ingenious." (I wonder what the airport scanners union has to say about them....)

Moving right along...

In the lettuce entertain you category: Last week the World Snail Racing Championships took place in England and around 200 snails slugged it out to win the honor of World's Fastest Snail.

Ready... set... escargot!

Snail Bonanza - World Snail Racing Championships from Rii Schroer on Vimeo.

Finally, this gem, courtesy of friend of the blog Larissa, on why you should never argue with an ibex:

Bon appetit and safe travels...

And in other news...

Though you might not realize it watching NBC (and its cable affiliates), there have been other big news stories this week besides the Olympics. In cased you missed them, here are a few that caught my eye, though may not have caught yours.

If Tiger Woods ran the Olympics.... Apparently the International Pole Dancing Fitness Association, professional pole dancers, and "supporters" of the "sport," have been petitioning the International Olympic Committee to make pole dancing (which, contrary to what some of you may be thinking, does not involve Polish athletes doing a traditional folk dance) an Olympic sport by the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio (which seems a more appropriate venue than London). And according to this article from the Associated Press, the petition to make pole dancing an Olympic sport has a lot of support. I bet it does.

They're called "killer" whales for a reason.... On Wednesday, while petting Orca Tilikum during the midday Shamu Show at SeaWorld in Orlando, trainer Dawn Brancheau was grabbed by the killer whale and taken for an unscheduled swim around the pool, drowning in the process, despite efforts to get the whale to release her. I cannot imagine how horrifying this must have been for Brancheau, her fellow trainers, and all those watching. The mere thought of it makes me sick. Almost equally horrifying is the fact that this whale was still at SeaWorld, as this was not the first time Tilikum had mauled someone to death, and the whale was considered so unstable or ornery that trainers had been repeatedly told to not get in the water with or near him. Yet another senseless, avoidable death, caused by man's need to tame and master nature at all costs.

Scientists discover Dick Cheney has a heart.... For those who hadn't heard, Dick Cheney was just released from a Washington hospital after suffering his fifth heart attack in just over 30 years. Cheney would have been released sooner, said a spokesman, but it took doctors days to realize the small, hard coal-like object on the left side of his chest was actually his heart.

New eligibility requirement being considered for President.... If newly elected Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown gets his way, there will soon be a new eligibility requirement for President of the United States: must have good jump shot. In what many are haling as a preview of the 2012 Presidential Election, Senator Brown has challenged President Barack Obama to a two-on-two hoops match at the White House, with Brown's daughter (former American Idol semi-finalist and Boston College guard) Ayla standing in for former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his second.