Are the Brits faking it?

Everyone knows that a British accent is way cooler than an American one -- especially the Brits. Which is why I have become increasingly suspicious that the British may be faking it.

Sure, roll your eyes and mock me all you like. But think about it.

Do British musicians -- The Beatles, One Direction, Adele -- sing with a British accent? No. They all sing like Americans.

And just look at how many Brits play Americans on American television and in Hollywood movies! Andrew Garfield, Hugh Laurie, Damian Lewis, Matthew Goode. Bet you didn't even know they were British! And you know why? Because they speak without the slightest trace of a British accent!

And you know why they sound like Americans? Because that so-called "British accent" is totally fake! A ploy to seduce us insecure Americans, or at least our women, and take back the Colonies by stealth! (For chrissake, they hired a Brit to play beloved American action hero Spider-Man! Need I say more?)

There is a reason why bad guys speak with a British accent. (Jag-U-ar, my arse.)

Also, I am beginning to have doubts about the French.

Say what?

Do you feel yourself going nuclear whenever you hear the word pronounced nuke-u-ler? Then you should enjoy this latest video from Mental Floss titled "79 Common Mispronunciations," in which John Green discusses 79 of the most commonly mispronounced words in English, including the word nuclear.



Though do people really pronounce epitome epi-tome (as opposed to e-pit-o-me) and hyperbole (hi-per-buh-lee) as hyper-bowl?

And while we are on the topic of common mispronunciations, it's wreaking havoc (not wrecking). And you (or your horse) champ (or champs, not chomp) at the bit.

Okay, my work here is done.

A noun and a verb are at a bar...

While I enjoy a good grammar joke...

A noun and a verb are at a bar. They spot each other, and the verb smiles and goes over to the noun. "Hello there," the verb says to the noun. "Want to come back to my place and conjugate?" The noun replies, "Oh, no. I decline."

Good grammar is no joking matter. Yet what passes for writing these days is often laughable.

And I know I am not the only person who feels this way in regard to grammar (or starts a sentence with a conjunction, which, by the way, is acceptable if not done too frequently).

Indeed, type "grammar errors" into Google and the search engine immediately spits out over 18 million search results, including this brilliant video from Mental Floss, titled "38 Common Spelling and Grammar Errors." Not only is the video funny, it is instructive.



You're welcome.

Right?

Have any of you noticed how a growing number of Americans are ending sentences with the word right?

It's annoying, right?

Ending a sentence with the assumption that the other person agrees with you, right? (And it's typically not just one sentence but multiple sentences in a row, right?)

I mean, like, maybe it's not as bad as, you know, some of the other, like, annoying, uh, linguistic tics we Americans have.

But it's annoying all the same, right?

Personally, I blame the Canadians... eh?

The death of the English language?

When I was growing up, I loved to look up words in the Oxford English Dictionary, which we happened to have a copy of (as my mother was a college English teacher, specializing in Victorian literature). Indeed, at one point I seriously considered studying linguistics and semantics, as I love language and words.

But, after being sent an article about some of the latest words to be included in the Oxford English Dictionary (or OED) -- hat tip, which happens to be one of the new phrases, to friend of the blog D. -- I have to say, this is not my mother's dictionary. And I am not happy.

Vajazzle? Really? How many people (outside those who watch the British reality TV show The Only Way Is Essex) actually use or know that word? And how many people will still be using this word five or 50 years from now? Which douche (yet another new word) thought it would be brilliant to include that gem? And can we vote him off the island?

Granted, not all the new words seem ridic (like ridic). Inbox, ripped, and video chat all make sense to me. But do you really need a special entry for date night? And is mwahahaha even a word? And lolz? (Please note, I am not laughing.) But whatevs (which was added last month).

Do these words really belong in the Oxford English Dictionary? (The Urban Dictionary, definitely, but the OED? Not so much, IMHO.)

I don't know about all of you, fellow lovers of the English language, but I could use a group hug about now.

Note: You can find a list of all the words the OED added this August here.