So who will play Rod Blagojevich in the made-for-TV movie?

I think you will agree with me that there is only one actor who has the over-the-top personality and the hair to play Rod Blagojevich. And that man is... No, not Rod Blagojevich, despite what he told "Access Hollywood." It's Tom Cruise. To quote from Risky Business, "This man could use a guy like Tom."

Think about it, who else could possibly combine the stoic heroism of Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Jefferson Smith with a soupçon of psychopathic charm? Only Tom Cruise.

And, in another bit of casting genius, I think the producers should get Tom Cruise's wife, actress Katie Holmes, to play Blago's wife, Patti Blagojevich. Heck, why not throw in Suri Cruise to play Blago's younger daughter, Anne? (Though Suri may be a bit young to play the part and not interested in pursuing the family business.)

Lights! Camera! Impeachment!

J-TWO-O: A deliciously refreshing blog and fruit drink! PLUS: Blago, Gillibrand, Thain, and high fives for Obama!

Imagine my surprise the other day when I Googled "J-TWO-O," to see what other blogs or sites may have picked up on my latest musings, and discovered that not only am I a deliciously refreshing blog, but I am also a deliciously refreshing (and exotic) fruit drink!

Indeed, according to Britvic, the maker of J2O the deliciously refreshing fruit drink (as opposed to J-TWO-O the deliciously refreshing blog, which I manufacture):

• Seven bottles of J20 are sold every second (I assume in the UK, which is the main market for J2O the beverage, though apparently it is also sold in Chicago); and
  
• J20 is now the second biggest bottled drink sold in pubs after Budweiser (Budweiser?! Come on you Brits! Even Foster's has better drinkability than Bud.)
  

Sigh. If only seven people read this blog every second -- or this blog was the second biggest after the Huffington Post, the number one blog in terms of traffic or ranking on Technorati (which, btw, is a sham -- Technorati, not the Huffington Post, which I think is great. And Arianna, if you are reading this, email me! I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to write or blog for the Huffington Post!)

I have to admit, while I love a good exotic fruit drink (particularly one made with mango, while relaxing on a warm beach with a good book), I am a wee bit disappointed that I am not the only J-TWO-O out there. (Hmm... I wonder if Britvic would come after me if I started using that bottle as my icon...) Well, I guess it's not as bad as being one of 27 Jennifers, which, btw, is a great song, which you should listen to. Now.


And in the news and on the 'Net today: Coming to a city near you, the Rod "Cuckoo" Blagojevich Media Tour, including an interview with Amy Robach on Today (where he compares himself to Nelson Mandela, Ghandi, and Martin Luther King, Jr.) and a turn on The View (this morning, because Whoopi Goldberg seemed more sympathetic than those mean state senators in Illinois)! Hey kids, it's way more fun than attending your own impeachment trial.... And how about newly appointed New York Senator Kirsten "I [heart] David Paterson!" Gillibrand?! I cannot believe NO ONE commented on her planting a big wet kiss on the NY Gov last week after she accepted the appointment! And this just in: Did you hear that former Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain is repaying the $1.2 million he spent to redecorate his office? Now you have! Lastly, if you have not seen this great video titled "High-Five Inauguration" do so now:

HIGH-FIVE INAUGURATION! - watch more funny videos

Well, that's it for me for today. Back to work...

You can't spell "Blagojevich" without b-l-o-g

Alternate title: "The Audacity of a Dope."

Well, the names may change, but the corruption remains the same. God, I miss Illinois (particularly Chicagoland, where we lived for over eight years). It seems like only yesterday that former Illinois Governor George Ryan, Sr., current Governor Rod Blagojevich's predecessor, was convicted on sweeping federal corruption charges of wielding power to help himself and his friends.

And there was good old Blagojevich, with his black (almost) pompadour, boyish demeanor, and goofy grin (Who knew the mouth on him? Oy gevalt!), promising as he took office to do right by the people of Illinois, unlike that corrupt George Ryan, who was sentenced to 6.5 years in jail.

As noted in an article in today's Chicago Tribune:

In his first inaugural address, before a crowd of thousands, Gov. Rod Blagojevich railed against a "system of corruption that has become too commonplace, too accepted and too entrenched."

"You voted for change," said Blagojevich, the state's first Democratic governor in 26 years. "I intend to deliver it."

Et tu Blago? Oh, the shame, the shame.

For those keeping score, and politics is a game after all, that is now four Illinois governors who have crossed the line (the previous three, Otto Kerner, Dan Walker, and George Ryan, all did or are doing time -- and let us not forget former Illinois Congressman Dan Rostenkowski), making Illinois, in the words of U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald, if not "the most corrupt state in the United States... certainly one hell of a competitor."

(Btw, it would not surprise me in the least if we found out Patrick Fitzgerald was a cross dresser or had some other dirty little secret.)

But seriously, folks, does any of this come as a big surprise? Let's get REAL. Every day politicians (Republicans and Democrats) work out deals behind the scenes. Politics is all about "you scratch my back, I'll scratch your back." (Or other parts of the male anatomy, in Republican Senator Larry Craig's case.) It's just a matter of discretion -- and not getting caught. And believe you me, stupidity (and/or audacity) is bipartisan.

Even though until recently it's been Republicans making the scandal sheets, there are plenty of Democrats in the Hall of Shame, most recently Louisiana Congressman William Jefferson, who was indicted in 2007 on bribery charges but has yet to go on trial, though he lost his recent re-election bid.

Of course, putting "corruption" and "Louisiana" in the same sentence is kind of redundant. Hey, here's a thought: If political corruption were a Bowl game, it'd be Illinois vs. Louisiana, with only slightly better odds, maybe, on Illinois, just because of their current quarterback, Rod "F@*k 'em" Blagojevich.

So where does the current Blagojevich "situation" now stand? Well, as of this morning, Old Lightning Rod was back at work in the Governor's Office, ignoring pleas to resign, just taking care of business as usual. You can read more in this other piece from today's Chicago Tribune, titled "Barack Obama, U.S. senators, state officials urge Rod Blagojevich to resign."

Go Team!