This Father's Day, show him you care with...

bacon.

Bacon, is there any meat more noble... or delicious?



So this year, forget the golf sweater, or the tie, or that goofy sign for his man cave, and instead give dad the gift of bacon. Because a plate of bacon is forever... (in your arteries).

(Sorry, Oscar Mayer. Love your ad "When Words Aren't Enough -- Say It With Bacon" and your cute bacon gift shop. But I'd rather get the spouse, aka the father of the teenager, this Beer & Bacon Gift Box from Vosges Haut-Chocolat than a package of Oscar Mayer bacon from the supermarket and a pair of bacon cufflinks.)

More fun Father's Day gift ideas!

Because does dad really need another tie, book, or golf-related item (except the one below)?

Btw, for those who think Father's Day is this Sunday, June 10, it's not. It's June 17.Which means you have over a week to buy him a cool present.

Moving right along.... Think how excited dad [either your dad or the father of your child] will be when he wakes up Father's Day morning to the smell of bacon... soap!

Want to get dad really fired up? Get him the iLaunch Rocket Launcher for iPhone. Here's the description from ThinkGeek:

The iLaunch Rocket Launcher is a missile launcher controlled by your iPhone, iPod Touch, or iPad. Licensed by Apple, this beauty will work with any device running iOS 5.0.1 or higher. After a quick charge and setup, you'll be able to strike fear into coworkers as far as 25 feet away. Claim more than 1400 square feet of your office by firing at will....

And to defend himself from alien -- or co-worker -- attacks, why not get dad this incredibly awesome Star Trek Electronic Door Chime, which boldly goes where no door chime has gone before.



Fascinating.

Next up: the Amazing Tiny Hammock, which, I have to say, is pretty amazing -- and only $14.95 from Stupid.com! The hammock comes in a handy carrying bag and can comfortably (?) fit a full-size adult. Perfect for camping trips -- or afternoon nap breaks at the office!

And for the dad who likes to practice his short game and multitask, I give you the Potty Putter. (Considering the amount of time most men spend on the can, with this gift, your dad or spouse should be a pro putter in no time!)

Finally, at the end of a long, hard day, dad can crack open a cold one with his Moose Head Bottle Opener.  (Hmm... I wonder if there is a matching Squirrel Bottle Opener. Now that would be awesome.)

Speaking of cracking open a cold one, why not get dad a subscription to the Microbrewed Beer of the Month Club while you are at it? And what goes better with nice, cold beer than a subscription to the Pizza of the Month Club or a Father's Day BBQ Gift Basket?

Okay, I believe my work here is done.

[To see past fun Father's Day gift suggestions, click here.]

Fun Father's Day Gift Ideas (for the dad with a sense of humor)

Wondering what to get dear old lovable dad this Father's Day (June 20)? Well, look no further! These fun-tastic Father's Day gifts are sure to please any dad -- or, that is, any dad with a sense of humor.

First up... for those of you who have always had trouble talking with your dad, or ever felt he just didn't understand you, there's Communicate Effectively with Your Father Breath Spray. Which, at $5.99 (plus shipping and handling), is quite a bargain for a product that gives you the ability to suddenly converse with your old man. (Hey, it's cheaper than a round of golf and a couple of beers.)

Is your dad (or the father of your child/ren) the "thrifty" type? Then consider getting him the Men's Underwear Repair Kit. Complete with needle and thread, patches, and duct tape -- and a 32-page instruction man-u-al -- the Men's Underwear Repair Kit can save his drawers as well as his dignity. (Of course, you could just get him some new underwear. But what fun is that?)

For the hands-on dad who is always on the floor or in the basement doing or looking for projects to do with the kids, I recommend GeekDad: Awesomely Geeky Projects and Activities for Dads and Kids to Share. (Note to dads of young children who may be reading this: Taking apart -- and trying to put back together-- the vacuum cleaner or the TV or mommy's new iPhone are strictly off limits.)

Or you could get him Star Trek Monopoly. (As a Star Trek fan, I would buy this for the playing pieces and kitsch value alone. Dibs on the phaser!)

And for the dad who likes to garden and glug, there is the Grow Your Own Beer Garden. (I just love the description on ThinkGeek: "Everything you need to grow barley, hops, and wheat. These are the three magic plants that make up BEER! A great family plant activity that ends in adult beverages. Win/win!")

Or you could just get him a membership to the Beer of the Month Club.

Lastly, for a Father's Day gift that's literally out of this world, why not buy dad an acre of real estate on Mars?

Per BuyMars.com, "the Earth's oldest, most recognized celestial real estate agency," "250 very well known celebrities, over 30 former and current members of NASA, [and] 2 former US Presidents*" already have, as has Marriott. (Note: Offer does not include Mars Rover.)

Wishing all the dads out there a very happy Father's Day...

*Any guesses as to which two? (I have no clue.)

Father's Day Gifts He'll Really Appreciate

Father's Day is June 21st this year, and if you haven't already gotten dad a gift, allow me to suggest the following....

Cheers to Dad!

Dad like beer? If so, give him a subscription to the Beer of the Month Club. It's a gift that will keep on giving (or at least for 11 more months). And we're not talking your basic Bud or mass-produced Miller, my friends. Oh no. Each month, dad will receive a carefully selected, highly delicious, hand-crafted microbrew, delivered right to his door. And if you're real nice to him, he just might share.

Oh Captain My Captain

Allow dad to boldly go where few Star Trek fans have gone before with this official replica Star Trek Classic Captain Kirk Chair. (Note: Blonde babe not included.)

Per the manufacturer: "This full-size recreation of the U.S.S. Enterprise's captain's chair is designed from detailed drawings supplied by Paramount Studios and is approved by Paramount. It delivers all the accents and details from the historic prop, along with modern lighting, sound effects, and phrases designed to thrill any Star Trek enthusiast!

"The unbelievable chair measures 41-inches tall x 42-inches wide x 39-inches deep. It weighs about 215 pounds! The working swivel seat with wooden handles, leather seat cover, and armrest controls make this the perfect addition to any collection, display, home theater, or museum!"

You can beam one up by clicking on the link above.

(Note: If the captain's chair is a bit beyond your pay grade, a Star Trek Phaser from ThinkGeek.com also makes a stunning gift, at an eighth the price.)

For the Guy Who Likes to Be in Control

Introducing the Control-Your-Woman Talking Remote, from a company called "Perfect Solutions." (You wish.) I'll just let the product description speak for itself:

"Why waste precious time and energy trying to control the thoughts and actions of your significant other when you can automate the process? Let our talking remote controllers do it for you. Heard all you can bear to hear? Just push a button. Need an instant attitude adjustment? Just push a button! Wanna turn up the romance? Just push a button!

"Each controller delivers 18 hilarious verbal one-offs and accompanying sound effects sure to put your guy or gal on the right track while ensuring your right of self expression! Who knew controlling your mate could be as easy and entertaining as surfing the channels?!"

If only....

Last, but not least...

For the Dad Who Could Use a Little Help in the Grooming Department

Introducing the ManGroomer Private Body Shaver, for below-the-neck grooming. 'Nuff said. (Though, is it just me, or does the ManGroomer bare a striking resemblance to the FURminator?)

And for the man with a permanent hair shirt, there is the ManGroomer Electric Back Hair Shaver, which also makes a nice gift -- for him and for her.

With these personal grooming products, dad will be a smooth customer in no time. (H/T to Amy of i could cry but I don't have time, who called this to my attention. Seriously, what did we do before Bed Bath & Beyond?)

UPDATED 6/11/09: For the Dad Who's a Steak-Lovin' Cowboy at Heart, or to make sure no one (except maybe mom) messes with dad's meat, how about a personalized steak brand? Talk about a gift that sizzles. You can buy brands with his initials, the word "Dad," his favorite team, or even his political party.

Wishing you and your dad a happy Father's Day....