Bernie Madoff sent to jail; Levi Johnston sent packing; Tiger Woods heaven sent

Big news day, folks! And frankly, I am not sure which of these stories is making the mainstream media (MSM) and blogosphere giddier. Is it:

a) Ponzi scheme millionaire Bernard Madoff pleading guilty and being immediately sent to jail (after telling the judge how sorry and ashamed he was -- no doubt for getting caught)?

b) Bristol Palin (the teenage daughter of Alaska Governor and erstwhile GOP VP candidate Sarah Palin) and fiance Levi Johnston calling it quits?

Or

c) Tiger Woods playing in his first major after nearly a year's absence (thanks to knee surgery)? (Apparently, golf fans everywhere are thrilled Tiger is back, as, no doubt, are the PGA and the networks covering golf, all of which have suffered because of Tiger's absence.)

What's that you say? What about the continuing economic crisis? Or the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan? Or the healthcare crisis? Pshaw! No one wants to hear about those Debbie Downer stories. The public craves vengeance (Madoff), gossip (the Palins -- and how about that Meghan McCain mouthing off about Ann Coulter?! You go girl! Though what's with the motorcycle cap?), and the return of a legend (Tiger!)!

So getting back to the real news of the day, here are my thoughts:

a) Where are Bernie's billions? Apparently the money isn't in his personal bank accounts. So where is it? The guy could not have just blown through $50 billion. Would also still like to see him tarred and feathered.

b) So why did Bristol and Levi split? They say it was mutual, but you don't really believe that, do you? And who's taking care of the kid(s)? And when did "nanny" become a bad word?

c) I don't really have a lot to say about Tiger's return to golf, except YEA! I've always been a big Tiger fan and will probably watch the final rounds of the Doral, but I have no idea how he'll do. Still early days.

Thoughts? Leave me a comment.

Teed Off

So on Tuesday night, I had my first golf lesson -- part of a five-session class I signed up for through Continuing Education. I think it was apt that the instructor had us use whiffle balls as I totally whiffed.

I'd like to think it was because the instructor was a bit of a swaggering jerk who spent most of his time schmoozing with the guys who already knew how to swing a golf club -- and because the class was oversubscribed, which meant he couldn't spend more than a few seconds with each person.

His advice to me: Relax. For this I paid good money -- and missed the first half of "American Idol"? Sheesh. I admit, a good part of my inability to loft the ball was emotional -- the ghost of my late father, a one-time scratch golfer, loomed above me (figuratively, though you never know). But good, hands-on instruction goes a long way (certainly a lot farther than any of the balls I hit Tuesday night).

Despite my daughter giving me permission to quit after just one session, I'm not ready to lay down my club just yet. That would set a very bad example, and I have to believe I can only get better. We shall see.

In other news... Came across this little gem in the NYTimes.com this week. (Despite the date of publication, it isn't a joke.) It's a discussion of a new book called I Could Tell You But Then You Would Have to be Destroyed by Me: Emblems from the Pentagon's Black World by Trevor Paglen -- and it's hysterical, in a military-industrial complex, Dick Cheney, Dr. Strangelove kind of way.

As reporter William J. Broad writes in the NYTimes.com article: “'It’s a fresh approach to secret government,' Steven Aftergood [as opposed to "Beforebad"?], a security expert at the Federation of American Scientists in Washington, said in an interview. 'It shows that these secret programs have their own culture, vocabulary and even sense of humor.'”

Blowing up things certainly is funny! But seriously folks... I have to admit that some of the emblems, that is patches (just like the kind you might put on a Girl or Boy Scout uniform!), really are clever.

Again, to quote from Mr. Broad's well-written article:

"One patch shows a space alien with huge eyes holding a stealth bomber near its mouth. 'To Serve Man' reads the text above, a reference to a classic 'Twilight Zone' episode in which man is the entree, not the customer. 'Gustatus Similis Pullus' reads the caption below, dog Latin for 'Tastes Like Chicken.'”

Those wacky Black Ops guys!

To learn more about our tax dollars hard at work, do check out the article and/or the book. (Just click on the highlighted text.)

Lastly, speaking of fun and politics and tax dollars hard at work, here's a fun way/place to spend some of your tax refund. Enjoy!