Tiger Woods the father of Al Gore's love child

Oh wait. That's not right. Tiger Woods is -- allegedly -- the father of porn star -- I mean adult film actress -- Devon James' nine-year-old son, Austin T. James. (Guess what the "T." stands for!) Per the story that has been making the rounds in the tabloids, James had an affair with Woods (though really, who hasn't?) back in 2000, got preggers, and decided not to tell Woods until the kid (who bares a striking resemblance to Tiger Woods) was six. For those interested, you can read more about the story here.

Al Gore, on the other hand, has allegedly been having a two or three-year affair with Laurie David, the mother of his Oscar-winning baby, An Inconvenient Truth. David, the now ex-wife of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm producer Larry David, however, denies the "rumor," which was first "reported" by Star Magazine (and quickly spread by the likes of The New York Daily News -- and everyone else). Because she was actually having an affair with Tiger Woods. (Okay, I made that one up. Though you never know.)

In other hot (totally meaningless) gossip, Bristol Palin, daughter of former half-term governor of Alaska Sarah Palin, is supposedly getting it on again with her baby daddy Levi Johnston, per Us Magazine. If it's true, I say "Good for them!"

Phew. I think that's enough hot gossip for one blog post, my 500th!

I now return you to your life...