Russian PM congratulates U.S. on Donald Trump's big win

Greetings Comrades Citizens of the United States of Russia!

I am writing to congratulate you on your glorious revolution stupidity election. We have spent years grooming Donald J. Trump for this important position, and we are overjoyed to see that all of our hard work has finally paid off.

We have to admit, we were momentarily worried when our good friend Paul Manafort was dismissed as campaign manager. But we were delighted to see how incredibly gullible open the American people and Congress were to our other efforts to get Mr. Trump elected. (And here we thought you Americans were not so easily duped.)

Rest assured, we in Russia will do everything in our power to help Mr. Trump plunge the United States into chaos succeed. Our Syrian representative has already met with Mr. Trump's son, Donald Trump, Jr., and assured us of Mr. Trump's -- and the United States's -- future cooperation on important world matters. And our fearless leader President Putin is very taken with Mr. Trump's charming daughter, Ivanka.

Here's to four years of close cooperation between our two countries.

За нашу дружбу!

Dmitry Anatolyevich Medvedev and all of your friends in the Russian Federation