It's not easy being a beauty queen

When I was growing up, if I was complaining about having a bad hair day, or my weight, or zits, my father, may he rest in peace (or be playing scratch golf somewhere in Heaven, or wherever), would always say to me, "It's not easy being a beauty queen."

Dad, you didn't know the half of it. And thank goodness I wasn't (and am still not) a beauty queen.

Most men don't realize all the grueling grooming and primping beauty queen contestants go through. And I'm not even talking about boob jobs, liposuction, or other cosmetic surgery. I'm talking about all the dieting and exercise -- and the tweezing, shaving, waxing, and/or electrolysis they endure, just so they can look good strutting down a runway in high heels and a bikini.

Of course, it's no longer just beauty queens who endure often painful or uncomfortable treatments in order to achieve some level of what modern society deems "beauty," or "beautiful." Business is booming for cosmetic surgeons and dermatologists and waxing and beauty salons. And just try and watch TV without seeing an ad for some female personal grooming product, like this one entitled "Topiary" for Schick's Hydro Silk TrimStyle razor*:



[Memo to the folks at Schick: I don't care how sharp your razor is. No way is it sculpting a heart, or a rectangle or triangle, on my or any other woman's "bikini area." And the rash you would get afterward kind of defeats the purpose.]

Is some personal grooming bad? No. (Which reminds me, I need to get my hair cut. The stuff on top of my head, guys. Geez.) But I worry about the message society is sending to young girls and women about what really matters -- not brains or good deeds but perfect skin and perfect bodies and not having hair someplace other than on their heads.

Maybe instead of buying a Schick Hydro Silk TrimStyle we women should purchase a copy of Beauty Fades, Dumb is Forever: The Making of a Happy Woman by Judy Sheindlin, aka Judge Judy, a successful, respected woman who has an estimated net worth of $250 million -- a lot more than most beauty queens.

*Okay, you are probably way more likely to see ads for cars and trucks, and beer, and hair restorers than see an ad for the Schick Hydro Silk TrimStyle, or Palmer's Cocoa Butter, on ESPN or NBC or CBS Sports, or on Football Sunday. But you never know.