Brooklyn Decker's breasts, appearing at a theater near you!

Just days before the 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue hits newsstands (on February 15 -- and yes, there will be a blog post), Brooklyn Decker and her breasts are hitting the big screen in the new Adam Sandler movie Just Go With It, the touching story (because there is a lot of touching) of a plastic surgeon (Sandler) trying to woo a much younger school teacher (Decker).

Now, I don't know about all of you, but the only place I've ever seen a school teacher that looked anything like Brooklyn Decker was in that Van Halen video, "Hot for Teacher." Though come to think of it, Adam Sandler does look a bit like the nerdy kid in that video (which came out in 1984). Hmmm...

Getting back to Just Go With It, the movie buffs among you may be interested to know that it is actually a remake of the 1969 movie Cactus Flower, which starred Walter Matthau in the Adam Sandler role (as a dentist) and Goldie Hawn in the Brooklyn Decker role (for which she won the Best Supporting Actress Academy Award). Not to sell Brooklyn Decker short, but I doubt she's being nominated for an Academy Award next year for her work in Just Go With It, though I could be wrong.

Oh, and did I mention Jennifer Aniston also stars in Just Go With It, as Sandler's loyal but (wink wink) plain Jane assistant, whom he enlists to pose as his soon-to-be ex-wife to make Brooklyn Decker jealous? I know! Poor Adam Sandler.

(Btw, in the 1969 movie, Ingrid Bergman played the Jennifer Aniston role. And let me just say, Jennifer Aniston is no Ingrid Bergman. Then again, Adam Sandler is no Walter Matthau. Also, interestingly, Cactus Flower, which was originally a Broadway show, starring Lauren Bacall in the Jennifer Aniston role, is currently being revived, with previews starting in just a couple weeks. And I may just have to see it. Anyone want to go with me?)

Anyway, in case you've been living under a rock, and have no idea what I am talking about, here is one of the many trailers for Just Go With It (all of which prominently feature Brooklyn Double D-ecker's breasts), which aired during Super Bowl XLV:



So quick poll: How many of you female readers plan on seeing Just Go With It? Guys? Let me know via the Comments section (because I'm too lazy to create an actual poll).

And for the record, I have nothing personally against Brooklyn Decker, who may be the sweetest, nicest, most deserving person on the planet for all I know (as well as the best endowed). I'm just a bitter, flat-chested old broad with a blog to grind.

It had to be me

[Alternate titles: "I'm just wild about Harry (Connick Jr.)" and "It was the best of nights, it was the worst of nights."]

First, let me, in the words of Bing Crosby and Harry Connick Jr., accentuate the positive. Thanks to "Sleepover Night" at our daughter's day camp, the spouse and I found ourselves with the night off Thursday. And somehow we found ourselves in New York City drinking Champagne (or in the spouse's case, beer) and eating delicious French fare at one of our favorite little restaurants, Brasserie Cognac, on Broadway and 55th Street...






















then sitting in the eighth row of the orchestra section at Harry Connick Jr.: In Concert on Broadway at the Neil Simon Theater.

















To say that Harry Connick Jr: In Concert on Broadway was good would be a gross understatement. It was... amazing. And that is still selling it short. I wish I could have videotaped the concert (I had my camera and thought about it several times but the rather large usher hovering five feet away from me dissuaded me). Then I could have watched it again and again.

Not only was/is Harry Connick Jr. an incredible singer, he is an incredible musician and performer -- and also a really funny guy. And I doubt I was the only one in the audience who was disappointed when the concert finally ended around 10:30 p.m.

But all good things must eventually come to end. And in this case les bons temps stopped rouler-ing seconds after we walked out of the theater when I looked up and saw THIS:






















[Conjure image of Stephen Colbert shaking his fist in indignation:] DECKER!

It's like Brooklyn Decker is stalking me. Everywhere I look, there she and her breasts are (even on vacation, when we were flipping channels and happened to catch the ESPYs, there they were).

But Brooklyn Decker's double Ds were the least of my woes last night. For just as the spouse and I were drifting off to sleep, around 12:20 a.m., the phone rang. And I don't know about all of you but I have never had a good phone call at 12:20 a.m.

Sure enough, it was camp calling to inform us that J-THREE-O had sprained her ankle (trying to escape the embrace of a boy -- at midnight, on wet grass) and needed to be picked up. Now. So the spouse (as I can no longer carry our daughter) dutifully got dressed and drove over to the camp at 12:30 a.m.... literally picked up our daughter... drove her back home... and carried her up the stairs to the spare bedroom, which has a futon on the floor, whereupon I cleaned her feet and gave her some naproxen sodium and a kiss -- and stayed awake the rest of the night/morning, unable to sleep, only to discover upon (physically) getting up this morning that... we had no water. None. Not a drop.

So at 8:45 I packed up my toiletry kit and a couple of towels and a washcloth and drove to a neighbor's, so I could brush my teeth and take a shower and shave. (I LOVE YOU, G.! YOU ROCK!)

Fast forward eight or so hours... Still no water, but we have two nice new big holes in our backyard, and just found out we have to replace our water pump and all the wiring. All I can say is, glad we saw the concert last night, cause it's going to be a loooong time 'til we splurge like that again. But at least we should have our water back in the next hour or so... so I can do the laundry and the dishes and the cleaning. Yay!

As for J-THREE-O (aka Sarah Heartburn), she has a mildly sprained ankle (which is now in an air cast) and has been enjoying ordering her father around all day.

I will now end this blog post on a positive note, with this clip of (a much younger and thinner) Harry Connick Jr. singing "It Had to Be You," from When Harry Met Sally (one of my favorite movies):



Btw, Harry Connick Jr: In Concert on Broadway is being filmed for TV (and DVD) tonight, and when it airs/comes out, I'll be watching -- and you should, too.