Who names these hurricanes? 2022 Edition

Every year, the World Meteorological Organization, which is based in Geneva, Switzerland, comes out with a list of hurricane names. They do so in order to simplify communication about these life-threatening storms. (For the history of hurricane naming, read this article from the National Ocean Service.) 

Maybe it's because the World Meteorological Organization is based in Geneva. Or maybe it's because it's hard to come up with over 20 new names ever year. But I can't help feeling I would do a better job naming hurricanes. Take this year's list of hurricane names, for example, which are as follows: 

• Alex
• Bonnie
• Colin
• Danielle
• Earl
• Fiona
• Gaston
• Hermine
• Ian
• Julia
• Karl
• Lisa
• Martin
• Nicole
• Owen
• Paula
• Richard
• Shary
• Tobias
• Virginie
• Walter

You cannot name a hurricane Bonnie and not name the next one Clyde. I mean, come on! Colin? Seriously? What were the Swiss thinking? 

And where's the o in Hermine? Hermine? Really? Though I like the idea of a Harry Potter theme. You could name the hurricanes after Slytherins and/or various villains. You could have Bellatrix for B, Crabbe for C, Draco for D, Gilderoy or Grindewald for G, Narcissa for N, and, of course, V would be Voldemort, the hurricane that should not be named. 

As for the other names on this year's list, I don't know about you but I get the feeling it was a Swiss guy who picked Danielle and Virginie, perhaps to get back at former girlfriends. Though I think Gaston is a great name for a hurricane. No one blows like Gaston! Wipes out homes like Gaston! No one's as frightening with lightning and thunder like Gaston! 

Anyway, here's hoping we don't have to use all of the names, and if we do that none of them reach Category 4 or 5 or stay offshore. 

This Valentine's Day, go bear

I admit, I got excited when I heard that Build-A-Bear had released a new line of "adult" teddy bears. I mean, why should Halloween get all the sexy? Especially when everyone knows that Valentine's Day, or VD Day as I like to refer to it, is the sexiest holiday? 

But I was sadly disappointed when I went to check out the Build-A-Bear "After Dark" line of adult-themed teddy bears. I mean, look at these guys? 

Sorry, Build-a-Bear, but there is nothing sexy or adult about these adorable stuffed toys. They're not even naked!  

The Love Bandit Bear the spouse got me from the Vermont Teddy Bear Company -- no pants and a Zorro mask! -- was way sexier. (Though maybe he was too sexy as he has since been retired.) 

Maybe instead of a sexless teddy bear, get your sweetie something he/she will really appreciate, like a heart-shaped box of cheese, or a heart-shaped pizza, or a bouquet of bacon this Valentine's Day. 

Sending love to all of you...

J. 

Can we talk about Wordle?

Look, I love a good word game just as much as the next guy or gal. Maybe more. (I do the Spelling Bee in the New York Times digital edition practically every day, ditto the crossword.) 

So when I read about this addictive new word game that was sweeping the internet, I had to check it out. And I could see why the game, called Wordle, after its "inventor," Josh Wardle, was so popular. It's a real brainteaser. You know what else Wordle is? A rip-off of a game called Jotto invented in 1955 by Morton M. Rosenfeld. 

And you know what I don't love? Plagiarism and people who take credit for other people's work or games and journalists who are too lazy to do any research or fact check their articles. (I'm looking at you Daniel Victor of the New York Times.) 

If I read one more effing article about Josh Wardle "inventing" Wordle -- i.e., Jotto -- I am going to effing scream. JOSH WARDLE DID NOT INVENT THIS GAME. It's been around for over 60 years. (Actually far longer.) My mother and I played it in our heads back in the 1970s. (Scorepads? Phooey!) And I began playing mental Jotto with my daughter in the 2000s. 

Which led me to wondering why the makers of Jotto didn't sue Wardle over Wordle. But as I discovered, 1) IP law surrounding games like Jotto/Wordle is complicated. And 2) the company that supposedly produces Jotto, Endless Games, doesn't seem to produce it right now. And hasn't for a while. I did a search on the Endless Games website, but I couldn't find it. Though I found some other cool games. So it's possible that Jotto is in the public domain and fair game. However, to say that Wordle is original is WRONG. 

All that said, I will still play Wordle. (My best score so far? 3/6.) For now. At least until some other non-plagiarized word game comes along. 

Hurricane names have gotten ridiculous

I don't know about all of you, but to me a hurricane should sound fierce not friendly. It should have a name that strikes fear into people, like Loki or Odin or Thor -- or Hera or Poseidon or Zeus. Not sound like someone you'd hang out with at a sports bar or your grandmother played mahjongg with.

But for some reason, the World Meteorological Organization, the body that names Atlantic and Pacific hurricanes, keeps giving hurricanes chummy names. And this year is no exception, as you can see by the list of 2021 Atlantic hurricane names: 

1. Ana
2. Bill
3. Claudette
4. Danny
5. Elsa
6. Fred
7. Grace
8. Henri
9. Ida
10. Julian
11. Kate
12. Larry
13. Mindy
14. Nicholas
15. Odette
16. Peter
17. Rose
18. Sam
19. Teresa
20. Victor
21. Wanda

Seriously, Bill, Fred, and Larry? Do those sound like intimidating names to you? Why not Curly, Larry, and Moe if you want to go there? And Elsa, Ida, and Rose? Were you playing canasta when you came up with those? 

And Henri? Who effing names a hurricane Henri? Is it a French hurricane? Will it have a beret? Come on, meteorologists!

Now granted, you can't name hurricanes the same names year after year. And maybe all of the good names -- names of Greek, Norse, Roman, and other gods or fierce mythical warriors -- have already been used. Though I'm pretty sure they recycle names that haven't been retired. But I think we can do better than Danny, Elsa, and Mindy. 

I mean, what would you name a hurricane? I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be Teresa. (Got a name suggestion? Leave it in the Comments.) 

In all serious though, I hate hurricanes. And I hope this year we have a mild hurricane season, with no Category 4 or 5 storms coming ashore and wreaking havoc. 

Wishing you fair weather, this has been J. with a special meteorological blog post. 

Old age is a bitch

Does your spouse forget things? I'm not talking about birthdays or the day of your anniversary. I'm talking about physical things, like keys and glasses, or underwear and belts.

My spouse is famous, or infamous, for forgetting and losing sh*t. I can't tell you how many pairs of sunglasses he has lost or misplaced (because I forget the number). And guessing what he'll forget or lose on a trip has become a kind of running joke, to the point where I literally sit on our bed while he is packing his bag and ask him if he has packed [reels off list of items]. And he will smile at me and say in a slightly patronizing way, "Yes, J_____, I have [reels off list of item." And then, of course, we'll get to wherever and he will have forgotten something.

[Though, to be fair, when we got back from our trip to Canada last week, I realized I had left my brand-new cream-colored capri travel pants at one of our hotels, even though I always triple check our room before we leave. Fortunately, I was pretty sure where I had left them, and the hotel is mailing them back to me, albeit for $25. Still, cheaper than buying a new pair, which I did anyway.]

But yesterday the spouse topped himself. He didn't just forget to pack enough underwear or a belt. He forgot his entire suitcase. Which I discovered at six this morning, outside his office, in our driveway, when I opened the shades. He only discovered his error at 10 o'clock last night, twelve hours after he left our house, when he got to his Airbnb outside DC, where he had a big important meeting this morning -- and claims it was not his fault. He thought his colleague, who was driving, had put the suitcase in his trunk. Though I don't know how either of them could have missed the suitcase sitting in our driveway. (Old age is a bitch, man -- one that requires bifocals and hearing aids and cell phone reminders.)

ANYWAY...

Fortunately for the spouse, there was a 24-hour Walmart near his rental. So off he went, I'm not sure what time, and purchased a new wardrobe, along with a six-pack of beer, for the princely sum of $114.

Not bad, eh?

And now he will have a good story to tell at the meeting. Just hope he doesn't have to stay an extra night.

Ya got treason

[With apologies to Meredith Wilson, Robert Preston, and The Music Man]
Well, either you're closing your eyes

To a situation you do not wish to acknowledge
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of a traitor in the White House.
Ya got treason, my friend, right here,
I say, treason,
Right here in the Capital City.
With a capital "T,"
And that rhymes with "P," and that stands for Putin!

And all week long in your Capital City
Journalists be fritterin' away,
Fritterin' away their days,
Tryin' to get a straight answer from Sarah Sanders.

Oh, yes we got lots and lots a' problems.
Right here in the Capital City.
Problems with a capital "P"
And that rhymes with "T," and that stands for Trump!

Now, I know all you folks are the right kinda voters.
So I'm gonna be perfectly frank.
Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes down,
How the White House is gonna cover up the same old lies to the American people?
Sure you do!

Oh we got treason,
Right here in the Capital City!
With a capital "T"
That rhymes with "P"
And that stands for Putin,
That stands for Putin.
We've surely got treason!
Right here in the Capital City,
Right here!
Gotta figger out a way
To keep the country from going down the tubes
Treason, treason, treason, treason... 

But what about Benghazi? Favorite political cartoons.

Donald J. Trump has been the gift that keeps on giving to editorial cartoonists (and late night talk show hosts). Though I'm pretty sure all of them would agree they would prefer to have a president whose every utterance didn't send them careening to the drawing board.

In fact, there have been so many terrific editorial cartoons skewering Trump and the GOP the last two years that if I embedded all of them, you'd be reading this post for days. Actually, you would probably stop reading it after a few seconds.

For that reason, I've narrowed my list down to five. There are probably funnier or cleverer ones (feel free to link to them in the comments), but these five, some of which came out before Trump took office, resonated with me so much that I decided to save them for future use.

[Click on each cartoon to enlarge it. Then click your back button.]

Enjoy--or try not to weep.

Let's make America great again

Let's make America great again.

Let's teach our children that lying and cheating are bad and reward hard work and telling the truth.

Let's make America great again.

Let's preach love and kindness and understanding and show hate and bullying will not be tolerated in our country.

Let's make America great again.

Let's make our education system the best in the world by giving teachers the tools and support (and salaries) they need to do their jobs -- and celebrating learning and intellectual curiosity, not ignorance.

Let's make America great again.

Let's make sure all Americans have the healthcare they need, both physical and mental, without them having to worry if going to the doctor or hospital will financially harm or bankrupt them -- or forcing Americans to choose between their health or the health of a family member and eating or paying the rent. And while we're at it, let's make getting and paying for healthcare easier, so Americans don't have to spend hours trying to figure and fill out complicated insurance forms.

Let's make America great again.

Let's re-institute the FCC Fairness Doctrine, so television and radio stations cannot spout lies and falsehoods and mislead the American people.

Let's make America great again.

Let's make sure fewer children and adults die needlessly by signing into law sensible gun safety legislation.

Let's make America great again.

Let's give power back to the people by limiting big business's and wealthy donor's role in our elections -- and by outlawing gerrymandering.

Let's make America great again.

Let's embrace those who honor democracy and human rights and work together to spread the message that love trumps hate.

Mutual of J-TWO-O's Wild Kingdom: Birds of Sanibel Edition

Greetings fellow nature lovers!

This Friday I had the good fortune to go on the Stokes Private Birding Tour of the J.N. "Ding" Darling National Wildlife Refuge, sponsored by the "Ding" Darling Wildlife Society, of which I am a member.

Donald and Lillian Stokes are noted bird watchers and the authors of the Stokes Field Guide to the Birds of North America. And I, along with a few dozen other people who like to watch and photograph birds, got a lesson from Lillian Stokes on how to take a good bird photo.

It was a great morning, with the weather warm, the tide low, and birds aplenty. And despite the problems associated with trying to photograph birds -- they move a lot and us loud, pale apes frighten them -- I managed to take over a dozen good photographs. (Unfortunately, my Nikon DSLR is apparently not a morning camera, and refused to take a good photo, but I had my wonderful little Canon SX720, which takes amazingly good photos for a camera its size.)

Here are some of my favorite bird photos from the Stokes Private Birding Tour of Ding Darling. (Sadly, there were no roseate spoonbills, but you can't have everything.) Enjoy!

White pelican and great blue heron

White pelican in flight

White pelicans

Snowy egret

Puffed up snowy egret

Snowy egret in flight

Snowy egret in flight

White pelicans

White pelicans and little blue herons

Mottled duck

Tricolored heron

Male and female mottled duck

Snowy egret in mangrove

Tricolored heron

Anhinga

Tricolored heron in mangrove

Cormorant (this photo cracks me up)

What can I say?

What can I say (or write)... that won't cause someone to write something nasty on one of my social media pages, even if what I wrote is innocuous or correct (i.e., factual or truthful)?

I've been struggling with that question for a while now, ever since a neighbor accidentally came upon a blog post and decided to write something nasty on the blog's Facebook page (later to delete it).

As it says right at the top of the page, J-TWO-O is a satirical blog. And for those of you unfamiliar with satire, satire is "the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues."

Not everyone gets or appreciates satire, though, which is why I also wrote (when I started the blog nearly 10 years ago), "I started this blog to amuse myself, my friends, and my family. If you are not amused, just click on some other blog."

Unfortunately, we have entered an age of un-reason, or willful ignorance and "alternative facts," and incivility, where instead of people agreeing to disagree or politely disagreeing, they hurl insults and death threats at people they disagree with, often anonymously.

It's gotten to the point that I often think, Why bother? Who needs the aggravation? So, even though there are many topics I would love to write about (e.g., Harvey Weinstein and the culture of sexual harassment), or write more about (politics), I'm not. Why spend the time when either no one is going to bother reading what I wrote or, worse, the people that do hurl abuse at me?

So this is probably the end of J-TWO-O, though not the end of my writing. Indeed, for years (decades) I've tried to write a book, but have never gotten past the first few chapters -- until this summer. Now, in just a few weeks, my first novel will be published, via Amazon. It's a cozy mystery that takes place on a tropical island -- and has absolutely nothing to do with politics (or thongs, another favorite topic). I think it's going to be a hit, and I'm about to start on book two.

Wish me luck! And thanks for reading J-TWO-O.

What I've been reading: Books to fall in love with

It's been a few months since my last book post, so I thought I'd share with you some of the books I've read since then. As per usual, I've listed the books alphabetically by author and included a brief summary. (If you want to learn more about the book, read the reviews on Amazon or Goodreads.) And I invite you to share the name and author of any books you've read that you recommend in the Comments section. (NB: To see previous book recommendations, click here, or click on the Book Nook label at the end of this post.)

The Windfall by Disha Basu. Fiction. A modern-day rags-to-riches (or middle class-to-riches) story set in India. When Mr. Jha, a hardworking accountant who makes a decent living but is far from rich, winds up selling a software application he developed for millions of dollars, he rejoices. But as he and his wife soon learn, money cannot always buy you happiness (though it can buy you a nice house -- with air conditioning, a nice car, and first-class plane tickets to the United States, things that Mr. Jha greatly appreciates). At times amusing, but often sad, the book is an interesting look at what it means to be well off, or rich, in India these days.

Book Scavenger by Jennifer Chambliss Bertman. Young adult fiction. This book was recommended online by many adults, mainly librarians and educators, for other adults who love books and/or to read with their children or grandchildren. So I figured I'd check it out. The book revolves around Emily, an avid reader whose family constantly moves and has just settled in San Francisco. Emily is obsessed with an online game she and millions of other young readers play called Book Scavenger, where players hunt for books hidden in the real/physical world by other players, through clues they post online. However, when Emily accidentally stumbles upon what she is pretty sure is a new Book Scavenger game, she gets more than she bargained for -- and suddenly it's up to her to save Book Scavenger. When thinking about this book the words charming and endearing spring to mind. Highly recommend to parents of kids 8 -12 -- and big kids, too.

Al Franken, Giant of the Senate by Al Franken. Nonfiction/Memoir. WARNING: If you are a Republican and/or get your news from Fox and Rush Limbaugh/Conservative radio hosts, you will probably hate this book. This review isn't for you. The rest of you, read on.

I usually don't like memoirs, but I LOVED this book. (I also liked Franken's earlier books, Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot and Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them.) And I was not a fan of Franken when he was on Saturday Night Live. But I really like Senator Al Franken, and I hope he runs for President (though he won't). If you appreciate people, especially politicians, who give it to you straight (stick to the facts and call out lies and the lying liars who tell them), and can tell a good story, and/or you are curious about what it takes to win a senate race these days, READ THIS BOOK. It may be a cliche but I laughed and I cried while reading the chapters of this book -- and I would totally campaign for Franken if he ever ran for President (though again, he won't). And no, Al Franken is not paying me to write this review.

How to Find Love in a Bookshop by Veronica Henry. Fiction. A lovely, lovely book. A love letter to bookshops and the people who work and spend time in them. I only wish there was a Nightingale Books in my little town. A story of friendship, love, realizing what it is you really want and going for it, and community. A delight. 

Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman. Fiction. Eleanor Oliphant was doing just fine, according to her, even though she really wasn't. Introverted by nature and afraid to get close to people, her life begins to change when she and a coworker, the new IT guy (who could use a new wardrobe and smells of cigarettes), help rescue an old man who has fallen on the sidewalk. An unlikely friendship develops and, with the help of her new friends, Eleanor begins to come out of her shell and discover the life she had been missing. Bittersweet, heartwarming, and heart-wrenching, I found myself relating to Eleanor, and I bet a lot of women I know will too.

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. Fiction. I honestly cannot remember why I did not read this book when it came out in 2011. It has so many of the things I look for or enjoy in a book: good writing, an interesting plot, magic/fantasy (I'm a huge fan of magical realism), a love story. But I'm glad I finally read it. As for the plot, it revolves around a magical circus, a la the Cirque du Soleil. Only this circus, called the Night Circus, is only open at night -- and boasts actual magic. In reality the circus is a game board, in which a life and death game of magical one-upmanship is being played, and as the game drags on, lives and livelihoods -- and hearts -- are at stake. A beautiful novel.

The Essex Serpent by Sarah Perry. Fiction. The book takes place in the late 1800s, in England, and tells the story of a scientifically-minded London widow who decides to go to coastal Essex to seek out what has been dubbed the Essex serpent (similar to the Loch Ness monster), believing it to be a kind of dinosaur. While in the countryside she meets, falls in love, and butts heads with a local vicar whose religious views are at odds with her scientific/intellectual ones. And one is left to wonder, who or what, is the real serpent in this garden? An interesting read, but I didn't love it. Others might though.

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles. Fiction. I was not a fan of Towles's first book, The Rules of Civility, so I was loathe to read his latest novel. But after my mother-in-law and a good friend HIGHLY recommended it, I decided to check it out. And boy am I glad I did! I LOVED this book. Loved, loved, loved. The story of Count Alexander Rostov (the gentleman of the title), who, in 1922, is exiled to spend the rest of his days inside the Hotel Metropol in Moscow -- or risk being shot. Rostov, who is well known to the staff, by whom he is respected, is not one to make waves. So he agrees to the sentence, even though he is forced to give up his luxurious suite and move into the attic, and embarks on a new life as a denizen of the grand hotel, making new friends (and enemies) over the years -- and observing the evolution of Soviet Russia from the inside. A fascinating, beautiful, heartwarming, amusing read. I highly recommend.


NB: I also read Daniel Silva's latest Gabriel Allon spy thriller, House of Spies, which I thought was okay (not great), and Kevin Kwan's Rich People Problems, the final chapter (?) of his trilogy that began with Crazy Rich Asians, coming soon to a theater near you! (I loved Crazy Rich Asians; the sequels, not so much.) And I read Neil deGrasse Tyson's Astrophysics for People in a Hurry, which just made me feel stupid (and sleepy). (Liked the astronomy parts, just couldn't get into the physics.)

The only reason the GOP would dump Trump

"The economy, stupid."

Remember when even the whiff of adultery could ruin a man's chances of becoming president or could get him impeached? Ha ha ha. That's so 1990s. (Though I'm guessing if a Democrat was caught screwing around, Republicans would be up in arms.)

So what does it take in 2017 to get impeached, or even censured by Congress? Apparently not racism, inciting violence, ethics violations, profiteering, shady (or illegal) business dealings, conflicts of interest, collusion with a foreign power, bullying, lying, or fraud.

In fact, I would wager that if Donald J. Trump stood in front of Trump Tower -- or anywhere on Fifth Avenue -- and shot someone, I doubt it would make a dent in his popularity, at least among his die-hard supporters. It might even raise it if the person he shot was black or Muslim. He would no doubt claim it was self-defense, and his supporters -- and Fox News -- would believe him and trumpet his innocence, even if it was proved that the attack was unprovoked.

And while Republican Senators and Representatives might initially condemn Trump for shooting someone, as some of them have in the past for his pussy grabbing, support of white supremacy, and other things, I doubt even that would move them to censure or impeach him.

No, the only thing that might possibly cause Republicans in Congress to impeach or remove Trump? If the economy went into a tailspin, meaning the stock market crashed, unemployment crept up, and we faced another recession.

Right now Trump is still enjoying the economic draft or slipstream left from President Obama's time at the wheel, similar to the economic situation George W. Bush inherited when he took office. And we all know how well that turned out.

And that quote at the beginning of this blog post, "The economy, stupid" (typically quoted as "It's the economy, stupid")? That was the rallying cry of the (Bill) Clinton campaign back in 1992, which helped get him elected.

Indeed, more than anything else (except maybe -- maybe) terrorism or the threat of terrorism, the economy is what determines who gets into or stays in office*. And if Donald Trump, the supposedly great businessman, turns out to be bad for business? Then, maybe, just maybe, he will be removed or voted out of office. But I wouldn't bet on it.



*I hear the spouse and many of my non-Republican friends yelling at their computer screens, saying "I disagree! The Russian thing is going to be his undoing!" To which my reply is, only if there is some major bombshell -- that there is indisputable proof that Trump personally colluded with Russians to influence the election -- will that possibly lead to impeachment. That's how crazy and depressing our political situation is now. Which, to quote Donald Trump, is sad.

Wanna save the planet? Then this job is for you!

Want to help keep Earth safe from aliens? (No, not the ones from Mexico! The ones from Outer Space!) Well, NASA has the job for you!

Yes, boys and girls, if you have always dreamed of protecting the Earth from nasty microbes -- or brain-eating space invaders -- the National Aeronautics and Space Administration has your dream job. (And you thought Men in Black was just a movie!)

While anyone, theoretically (well, anyone who is a U.S. citizen or "those who owe allegiance to the U.S."), can apply to be Planetary Protection Officer, if you want to save the planet, you need the right stuff.**

Specific technical requirements to be Planetary Protection Officer include:

1. Advanced knowledge of Planetary Protection, its requirements and mission categories. This includes demonstrated technical expertise to independently form technically sound judgments and evaluations in considerably complex situations. 

2. Demonstrated experience planning, executing, or overseeing elements of space programs of national significance. These elements include but are not limited to developing requirements, performing technical assessments, and preparing recommendations to leadership. 

3. Demonstrated skills in diplomacy that resulted in win-win solutions during extremely difficult and complex multilateral discussions. This includes building coalitions amongst organizations to achieve common goals.

[Regarding Requirement 3., I am assuming NASA wants candidates to have experience negotiating with aliens/alien governments. What a shame Sarek was a Vulcan. Though maybe Jonathan Archer or James T. Kirk is available.]

So if you like traveling to exotic places, are able to keep a secret, have x-ray vision, and can bend steel with your bare hands**, apply today! The planet needs you!

(Btw, the gig pays between $124,406 to $187,000, not too shabby. Though, on second thought, considering you may be keeping the planet safe from total annihilation, I think it's a bit low.)

* Or figure out how to get Congress to impeach Donald Trump.
** I made those last two up.

Now playing on WH TV: Throw Reince Priebus from the Train!

Breaking News: President* Donald Trump has fired White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, the former head of the Republican National Committee.

In a move that should surprise no one, Trump eighty-sixed Priebus barely 24 hours after new White House Communications Director (and aspiring wiseguy) Anthony "the Mooch" Scaramucci had accused Priebus of leaking information -- and I had suggested (on Facebook and Twitter) that the Scaramucci made-for-TV movie should be called Throw Reince Priebus from the Train**.

In Priebus's stead, Trump appointed John F. Kelly, a retired Marine four-star general currently serving as secretary of homeland security, breaking the news on Twitter a little before 5 p.m. ET.

On his Twitter feed, Trump thanked Priebus "for his service and dedication to his country" and said "We accomplished a lot together and I am proud of him!" He referred to Kelly as "a Great American" and "a true star" of his administration. Bookies are now taking bets as to how long Kelly will last before Trump fires him, or he resigns.

Which brings me to my next point: Anyone else think that Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" should be the theme song of this administration, or that all the late-night talk shows should use it as background music whenever discussing a Trump resignation or firing?

Here's the Reince Priebus version***:

Reince walks warily through the West Wing
His chin pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet
Scaramucci's ready to blow

Are you ready,
Are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Out of the Mooch the profanities rip
To the sound of the beat

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

*Every time I type that, another piece of me dies.
**For those too young, or too old, to get the reference.
***Future versions will be modified to include or feature the latest victim of Trump's wrath.

If the Trump family/administration was a 1960s sitcom...

If you were to compare the Trumps or the Trump administration to a 1960s sitcom or cartoon, which sitcom or cartoon characters would they be?

F Troop?

The Beverly Hillbillies?

Hogan's Heroes*?

The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show?

The Flintstones?

Leave your answer in the Comments section.


*And I'm not talking about the POWs.

Putting the screw back in corkscrew

This seemed an appropriate post for hump day.

Voila! The Costaud (or "beefy") corkscrew. No bottle can resist his charms!

The spouse and I happened upon this humorous -- yet fully functional -- utensil while in Italy (though M. Costaud appears to be French). And no, I did not buy one (for myself or my friends), though I deeply regret not doing so. But it was the first day of our trip, and I feared M. Costaud, who is rather large, would be too big to fit... in my suitcase.

Why Jon Ossoff (and the Democrats) will lose

Why do I think Jon Ossoff, the Democrat seeking to represent Georgia's 6th congressional district, will lose to Republican Karen Handel in today's special election, even though he's raised far more money and seems far more popular? Because Republicans vote and Democrats don't.

Obviously, Democrats vote, but their turnout is typically far lower than Republicans', especially in off-year elections. And the 6th has been a reliably Republican district since the late 1970s, when Newt Gingrich won -- and held onto the seat for 20 years (to be replaced by two more middle-aged white males).

And despite what they may say or write about a Republican candidate, when it comes down to a vote, Republicans almost always vote for the person with an R after his (or occasionally her) name. So it's doubtful that Ossoff will have managed to sway 15 or 10 percent of Republican voters to vote for him, even if they don't like Trump or Trumpcare/The American Health Care Act.

Moreover, Republican campaign strategists are very good at staying on message and getting Republicans to the polls. Their strategy: fear. Vote for the Democrat and you'll be paying higher taxes! (They'll grab your hard-earned money and give it to lazy minorities and illegal immigrants!) Vote for the Democrat and you'll be less safe (cause they'll take away your guns and will let criminals roam the streets)!

And despite plenty of proof to the contrary, the strategy always works. Just tell the people what they want to hear, even -- or especially -- if it's a bunch of lies. Because who's going to fact check? Most voters don't read anymore, let alone check the accuracy of what they're reading, especially on social media, or what they see on TV. And when faced with any facts that contradict their beliefs, they cling even harder to their beliefs. So it's really a no-lose situation for Republicans.

So what can Democrats do? I think part of the solution has to be going back to grass roots, old-fashioned campaigning, like what Ossoff's been doing -- and what Obama did in the 2008 presidential race. Going to lots of events that "real people," not just wealthy donors, attend. Going door to door, and/or to supermarkets, and the local car wash; attending sporting events at local high schools and colleges; holding town halls. And making people feel that you're listening to them.

Democrats also need to come up with some catchy soundbites, because when it comes down to it, people don't read or remember or really care about policy positions anymore. They want something short and pithy that you can put after a hashtag.

And Democrats need to register young people to vote and make sure they go to the polls on election day. Because the only real way to effect change is by voting.

The right to bear arms but not bare breasts

With the shooting of Congressman Steve Scalise at a baseball field in Alexandria, Virginia, getting so much coverage in the news this week, you may have missed another big story out of the greater D.C. area. I am, of course, referring to the ban against public nudity that the Ocean City (Maryland) Council passed in an emergency session last Saturday, putting an immediate stop to the threat that topless female sunbathers posed to our nation's, or at least Ocean City's, impressionable citizens.

The Washington Post, did not one but two stories on the ban, including this titillating expose titled "In Ocean City, Hooters, Thongs and Horror Over Topless Women on the Beach."

Yes, in 2017, in a country where there is currently close to a mass shooting per day, the right to bear arms is still considered sacred but the right to bare breasts is still considered sinful.

Except for those fembots in Austin Powers, I'm pretty sure no one, man or woman, has been killed or seriously injured by a female breast. Indeed, unlike guns, mammary glands nurture life, not destroy it.

But hey, I get the whole wanting to ban women (or certain women) from exposing their breasts in public thing. If I could, I would ban guys from wearing thongs at the beach and in public. (Seriously, no one wants to see your pale, flabby -- or tanned and hairy -- ass or your over-oiled beer belly hanging over that limp sack of flesh hanging between your legs.)

Getting back to Ocean City's topless bathing, or nudity, ban, though, it seems a wee bit hypocritical to shout about promoting "family values" when you've got a big ole Hooters on your boardwalk, as well as lewd t-shirts for sale and smoking and drinking in public going on (much of it underage). 

But that's America for you.  

Are you + the U.S. better off than you were 4+ months ago (before Trump made America great)?

During the October 28, 1980, presidential debate between President Jimmy Carter and then presidential candidate Ronald Reagan, Reagan famously called on Americans to ask themselves:

'Are you better off now than you were four years ago? Is it easier for you to go and buy things in the stores than it was four years ago? Is there more or less unemployment in the country than there was four years ago? Is America as respected throughout the world as it was?'

It was a thought-provoking question. And the answer, or so it would appear from Reagan's victory, was "no."

I've been thinking a lot about that quote since Donald Trump took office, and promised to make America great again within 100 days.

So how is Trump doing? Are we (or you) better off than we/you were 4+ months ago?

Speaking personally, the answer is no.

Since Trump took office, our health insurance has gone way up. The value of our house has gone way down. I lost my main source of employment -- and have been unable to find a new one (or one that pays anywhere close to what I was earning, which wasn't much).

I worry about whether we and our children and grandchildren will have clean air to breathe and clean water to drink and whether the Earth will wind up looking like Venus. I worry about Trump starting a nuclear war. I worry about the rights of women and blacks/African Americans and other minorities. And I worry that if I go see a doctor or mental health professional about my anxiety our insurance premiums will skyrocket -- and mental healthcare isn't covered anyway.

As for Reagan's last question, "Is America as respected throughout the world as it was?" The short answer is, no, not even close. In fact, in just over four months, the United States has become the laughingstock of the world, thanks to Trump, who is a constant embarrassment on the world stage. And countries, including the UK (which has its own problems) and Canada, two of the United States's staunchest allies, are distancing themselves from Trump.

Regarding whether it's "easier for you to go and buy things in the store that it was four years ago," I don't have an answer.

And while technically the unemployment rate is low, and was low before Trump took office, I know a whole lot of people who have given up looking for full-time, or even part-time, work, or who found work but now make less money than they did four or 10 or 15 years ago. And I don't see this changing anytime soon, despite what Trump said or says. In fact, companies are continuing to automate and shift jobs out of the country -- and hiring fewer people to do more. And many people who do have jobs aren't paid a livable wage, which Trump and the Republicans don't see as a problem.

Sure, some people -- namely the very rich -- are better off, at least financially, than they were four months ago (thanks to a surging stock market and the rollback of certain regulations). But is America really better off? Are you?

Meanwhile at Trump's Cabinet meeting yesterday...

For those of you haven't yet seen a clip of yesterday's Trump Cabinet meeting, here's what Trump's Cabinet secretaries had to say about him...

For those too busy or unable to watch the video, here are highlights from the transcript:

Mike Pence: "Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

Jeff Sessions: "Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

Rick Perry: "Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

Tom Price: "Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

Mick Mulvaney: "Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

Reince Priebus: "Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."

Oops, I missed this quote from Sean Spicer.