Why I can't take the spouse to the supermarket (humor)

The following conversation occurred shortly after leaving a Publix Supermarket the other day, where the spouse and I had gone together to pick up a few things for Memorial Day Weekend. 

As per usual when we go grocery shopping together, I was in charging of bagging while the spouse waited by the register -- and the tabloid magazines -- to pay.

SCENE: The car, pulling away from the Publix

THE SPOUSE: So how long do you think this union between J. Lo and A-Rod will last?

ME: Union? Did they get married?

THE SPOUSE: Well, she's having his baby.

ME: WHAT?! Jennifer Lopez is NOT pregnant. She's like, 50, and has a new show. Where did you hear that?

THE SPOUSE: It's in all the tabloids. And she's 47.

ME: I don't believe it.

THE SPOUSE: Look it up. 

ME (looking it up on my phone): I don't see anything about J. Lo being pregnant. Though she is 47.

THE SPOUSE: See, I told you.

ME: Fine, but she'll be 48 in July. 

THE SPOUSE: Nothing about her being pregnant?

ME: I just see a story about her "romance" with A-Rod. I'll look it up later*. Can we please change the subject?

Of course, I then dreamed -- though it was more of a nightmare -- that I was pregnant with twins. No word regarding who the father was.

*Jennifer Lopez is NOT pregnant -- and neither am I.