Finally, an honest (+ very funny) movie trailer

Ever wonder, how is it that a movie that hasn't even opened yet managed to get so many great reviews? Or squinted at the television screen trying to figure out who exactly uttered or wrote (or tweeted) those laudatory words (because the film's promoters purposely made the attribution so tiny no one could actually read them)? Or wished that some movie studio would have the guts to promote its films honestly?

Well friends, that day has finally come. I give you the trailer for Muppets Most Wanted (opening in theaters March 21st!), which wasn't nominated for a single Golden Globe or Academy award (because technically it wasn't eligible, though that is entirely beside the point).



As for whether Muppets Most Wanted is actually any good (though I will probably rent it regardless), I will leave the last word, or words, on that to those unassailable critics, Statler & Waldorf.

Books to warm your imagination

Ah, the power of a good book. It can transport you to faraway places and faraway times -- a good thing when you are stuck inside for days on end dealing with freezing cold temperatures and snow. Or even if you are in sunny California and can't remember what cold and snow feel like.

A writer myself (though not of books), I am constantly in awe of those who create eloquent long-form prose. Which is why I like to take the time every month or so to praise those books and authors I have recently enjoyed -- and share them with all of you.

If there is a book you recently enjoyed, please share it via a Comment.

Herewith, a list of what I've been reading lately -- divided into Fiction and Nonfiction and listed alphabetically by author, with a link to a lengthier description on Amazon. (To see previous book recommendations, click here.)

Fiction

The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton. I normally shy away from books that win literary awards, especially British literary awards such as the Man Booker (I have become increasingly less fond of British literature and humor over the years), and even more so if the book is over 800 pages. But for some reason, despite all that, I decided to check out The Luminaries, a novel set in a remote part of New Zealand in the 1860s during the gold rush there. And I confess, I was spellbound by Catton's prose/story about a series of mysterious yet connected events involving a fortune in gold, the death of a lonely prospector, the disappearance of another, and the lives of 13 men and one prostitute connected to all three, told from several different angles or narrators. That is until about 700 pages in when I felt Catton lost patience and hurriedly wrapped things up, in to me an unsatisfactory way. However, some (or all) of you may disagree and be fine with how she concluded the tale, which is why I decided to include the book here. (And if any of you do read The Luminaries, all 830 or so pages of it, please let me know what you thought of it.)

The All-Girl Filling Station’s Last Reunion by Fannie Flagg. Who would have thought watching Match Game all those years ago that Fannie Flagg would become a beloved, best-selling author? Though I guess I shouldn't be that surprised as she was always funny and clever. But as we (I) know, being funny and clever does not necessarily translate into being a great author. And I think Flagg is a great author. Loved The All-Girl Filling Station's Last Reunion (as I did her other books). And I learned something, too -- about early female aviators, the WASPs (Women Airforce Service Pilots), who helped America's World War II effort. At the risk of sounding cliche, I laughed and I cried (albeit mostly to myself) all throughout this tale of a kindly but much put-upon Alabama homemaker (and her domineering mother) set in the mid-2000s and a family of pioneering female aviators from Wisconsin in the 1930s and 1940s. Highly recommend (albeit mostly to women).

Queen’s Gambit by Elizabeth Fremantle. Philippa Gregory, Hilary Mantel, and Tudor fans will (or should) enjoy this novel about Henry VIII's sixth and final wife, Katherine Parr, who I, at least, knew nothing about. Fremantle has clearly done her research -- and gives us a glimpse into life at court during Henry VIII's final years and the political and religious intrigue(s) that went on during that turbulent time.

The Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert. I could not stomach Eat, Pray, Love, and it was only at the insistence and promise of several people whose opinion I trust reassuring regarding books that "this book is totally different" and well worth a read that I checked it out. And I am glad I did. It may well be -- or become -- one of my favorite reads of 2014, and it's only January. That's how much I enjoyed it. Though maybe "enjoy" is not the right word, as I found much of the book sad and depressing. But Gilbert's prose are so eloquent, and her story of botanist/heiress Alma Whittaker so compelling and inspiring, I could not put the book down. (I particularly enjoyed the section about Roger the dog.) As for how to describe The Signature of All Things, you could say it is a book about mid-19th century botany and botanists, which it is. You could also call it a novel of adventure and self discovery. Which it also is. You could also call it the tale of a dysfunctional family and of love and loss. And it is those things, too. It is all those things, and more.

The Case of the Love Commandos: A Vish Puri Novel by Tarquin Hall. I am big fan of Tarquin Hall's Vish Puri, Most Private Investigator, series, which is set in and around India. The Case of the Love Commandos is the fourth book in this series of light-hearted detective novels or mysteries. If you have not read the previous three novels, I suggest you start with The Case of the Missing Servant, the first one, though it is not essential. (Hall writes the books in such a way that you do not need to have read the previous ones to enjoy the latest, but it helps if you have.) This book tells the tale of the Love Commandos, a group of young Indians fighting the rigid Indian caste system by helping lovers who hail from different castes to marry in secret. Though mainly it is the tale of one specific couple being helped by the Love Commandos and the mystery surrounding the disappearance of the young man, a bright university student from the Dalet or "untouchable" caste who has fallen in love with and plans to marry a Brahmin girl (though there is also an entertaining side story regarding the detective abilities of Vish Puri's mother). Cleverly written and highly entertaining.

The Bastard of Istanbul by Elif Shafak. The often funny, often sad/tragic story of two young women (and their families), one Turkish, living in Turkey, and one Armenian-American, whose father's family fled Turkey during the Armenian Genocide of the early Twentieth Century. Beautifully (and wryly) written, Shafak made me want to visit Turkey (more than I had already) and explore its streets and bazaars and food. (The only downside: now I can't get this song out of my head.)

Nonfiction

This Town: Two Parties and a Funeral – plus plenty of valet parking! – in America’s Gilded Capital by Mark Leibovich. An often fascinating, often funny, often painful look at political life in the nation's capital, with a heavy focus on the late Tim Russert, host of Meet the Press, and the media who live in and cover the political goings on in Washington, D.C. Recommended for political junkies.

Mao’s Last Dancer by Li Cunxin. If there was ever a book that made me glad to be an American or have grown up in this country -- as opposed to China -- in the 1970s, this is it! That is a rather self-centered view to take, but it's what I kept thinking as I waded through the first third of so of this memoir by Li Cunxin, who went from a life of severe hardship in rural China to becoming a principal dancer in the Houston Ballet after defecting to the United States in 1981 during a stint as a guest dancer/exchange student at the Houston Ballet, causing an international incident (that I don't remember despite being into ballet at the time). A fascinating story, which you don't have to be a balletomane to appreciate (though if you have taken ballet classes or ever aspired to being a ballerina, you will appreciate the book even more).

Bring on the adorable penguin and polar bear videos!

Greetings from the Polar Vortex*!

I am too cold and numb (from drinking red wine to ward off the cold) to type anything even mildly intelligent, so instead I give you...

Adorable penguin and polar bear videos! (That is, videos of animals that actually like, or well tolerate, or look warm and cute in, the cold.)





You're welcome.

I will now hibernate until Easter -- or until we have at least three consecutive days of over 50-degree weather (without driving rain) here in the Northeast.

*Does the Weather Channel have someone on staff whose job it is to name sh*t? Sure seems that way.

And now a word about nude sunbathing

And that word would be "don't."

I get that Europeans (namely the French) have a more laid back, non-prudish attitude regarding the human body. And I say bully (or whatever the French word for "bully" is) for them. But the last thing I want to see on a relaxing family beach holiday is some guy's twig and berries out foraging, especially when I'm strolling down the I-swear-the-sign-said-"no-nudity" (in English and French) beach in pursuit of a cow. And by "cow" I mean member of the subfamily Bovinae, not cow, as in an extremely unpleasant or overweight person. (I have no desire to photograph that subspecies.)

And yes, you read that right. I said cow. On the beach. (Which, alas, is also not the name of an alcoholic beverage, though maybe it should be.)

Sigh. Just thinking of how awesome that photo would have been -- a tan cow, hanging out on the beach! -- makes me a little giddy... and sad.

But I was not able to get that photo. (Though I got this one, sans cow, or vache, a bit later.)

And do you know why I was unable to get my awesome tan cow on the beach photo? Because just as I was about to get in range (I had brought only my little Canon PowerShot, not my Nikon with the zoom lens), some skinny pasty white dude stands up right in front of me -- and the cow -- and proceeds to remove his swim trunks and free willy.

The cow didn't seem to be the least bit bothered. In fact, she seemed rather nonplussed, and began grazing right next to the nude sunbathers. (There was another nude male there as well, at least I think he was nude. He was lying down, and I didn't care to look.)

I, however, was greatly annoyed. I really wanted that photo, but that would have required either a) being photobombed by a penis, or b) asking naked boy, probably in French, to kindly move so I could take a photo of the cow.

Neither option was appealing. So I quickly did an about face and stomped back down the beach, past the guy with swim trunks taking a photo of the cow -- and the nude guy -- with his DSLR with the zoom lens, frustrated that I had not gotten my cow shot and, okay, I admit it, wondering a) Isn't nude guy worried that thing will get burned*? And b) It must have hurt like hell having all (and I mean ALL) your hair removed. (On the positive side, at least he didn't have a hairy beer gut and man boobs, which can be equally traumatic.)

When I informed the spouse that some naked guy totally ruined my cow shot, he was blase. I'm not even sure if he looked up from his Kindle. Indeed, he went on to inform me that he thought he read somewhere that Happy was a clothing optional beach (despite the large sign in French and English at right before the path to Happy Beach that clearly said NO NUDITY) -- and went back to reading his book. (Unlike me, the spouse has no problem letting it all hang out.)

So no, I am not a fan of nude sunbathing (or guys in Speedos, but that is a different post), with or without cows.

The End

*Let us, please, consider that a rhetorical question and save the comments. 

New Year's Resolutions We Wish People Would Make

Instead of making New Year's resolutions for ourselves this year, how about we create a list of New Year's resolutions we wish other people would make -- and keep?

I will start off the list, but feel free to add to it via a Comment.

(Note: You do not have to have a Blogger or Gmail account or a blog to leave a comment. You can check Anonymous or just leave a Name, no URL necessary.)

Herewith, 14 New Year's Resolutions We Wish Other People Would Make -- and Keep -- for 2014 (listed in no particular order):

I resolve not to talk so loudly into my mobile phone that the guy three seats away can hear me.

I resolve to not chat on my mobile phone during movies, shows, weddings, funerals, while on the toilet, or during gynecological appointments.

I resolve not to chat on my mobile phone handset or text my friends while driving and to pay attention to the road and the drivers around me.

I resolve to play my car radio or music at a volume you can't hear three cars or even one car away.

I resolve to use my turn signal -- before making a turn.

I resolve to not drive like an a-hole and nearly run you off the road for driving at (or slightly above) the speed limit.

I resolve not to be such an a-hole (in general).

I resolve not to constantly name-check.

I resolve not to constantly brag about my kids or assume you will agree that they are the cutest/smartest/most [insert adjective here] by constantly posting sh*t about them on Facebook.

I resolve to return emails and phone calls within 24 hours.

I resolve that I will not wait until I am 15 minutes late to call or text you that I am running late.

I resolve to fact check all political statements or promises before assuming they are facts and/or mass emailing them.

I resolve not to forward spammy chain or "good luck" emails to my friends and family members.

I resolve not to make promises, commitments, or resolutions I can't keep.

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2014!

Remember when pajamas were for sleeping?

When I was growing up, I had a male cousin who, instead of sleeping in pajamas, insisted on sleeping in his clothes. It would save him time in the morning, he told his mother.

How times have changed. Now, instead of sleeping in their clothes, people wear pajamas during the day. (No word about this trend from my cousin who, last time I saw him, was nicely dressed in an Oxford shirt and trousers. Though I wouldn't put it past him to wear a onesie to a client meeting.)

I'm not exactly sure when the pajama-as-day-wear trend began, but I'm guessing it was shortly after stores like Old Navy (and its chicer retail cousins) began selling mix-and-match pajama bottoms and tops that looked and felt more like lounge wear or apres-ski wear than sleep wear -- that also, btw, looked fabulous with a pair of UGGs. Not.

At first the pajama-wear trend was confined to teenage girls in private schools and on college campuses and weary mothers in SUVs dropping their kids off at school. But now it seems pajamas as daytime fashion has gone mainstream. (I hesitate to call pajamas in public a fashion or fashion statement as I'm not sure what that statement would be: "Look at me! I'm lazy!" or "I couldn't bother to get dressed this morning"?)

Personally, I am okay with people wearing pajamas outside the bedroom -- within limits. You want to wear them around the house or to drive your kid to school in PJs? Super. I think it's also perfectly fine for early morning and late evening dog walkers to do the deed in their pajamas, albeit preferably with something over them (and under them, in the case of males).

However, I draw the line at strolling around in public in onesies, footie pajamas, and, pajamas that clearly look like, um, pajamas.

I especially draw the line at entire families gallivanting around in matching Christmas jammies.



[Dude, seriously, put on some underwear.]

But maybe I'm just an old fuddy-duddy.

Where do you think pajamas belong? In the bedroom? Anywhere inside? Wherever? Let me know via a Comment.

[For more on the "pajamas in public" topic, check out this New York Post article my friend CK sent me.]

You can't spell Christmas without C-a-t

Christmas is almost here, people! And nothing makes one merrier than a bunch of adorable cat and kitten videos. Indeed, there should be a holiday just for celebrating cats. You could call it Catmas! (Or not.) Anyway, consider this post my Christmas present to all of you fellow cat lovers.

First up, "How to Transport Your Cat," which has got cute in the bag.



Next vet visit, forget about the cat carrier. Just get out a plastic shopping bag!

[H/T to Cuteoverload.com]

That cat video not ringing your bells? Perhaps you're in the mood for something a bit more festive. Well then, how about a chorus line of adorable kittens bobbing their heads to the tune of "Jingle Bells"?



Or perhaps you'd prefer something slightly more menacing, slightly more mature, slightly more... Maru.Well, you are in luck, my friends. Live from Japan, just in time for Christmas, the latest Maru the cat video, featuring Maru and kitten Hana.



All together now: Aaaaw.

[That video totally reminds me of Garfield and Nermal. Though no way would Garfield ever share his bed with or groom Nermal.]

And no Christmas cat post would be complete without a video of Simon's Cat.



[While there are newer Simon's Cat Christmas videos, this one, titled "Santa Claws," is still my favorite.]

Wishing you all a meowy Catmas!