Time to stock up on muumuus?

If women of a certain age (i.e., moi) didn't have enough to worry about come late spring, now MORE Magazine, a magazine that supposedly "celebrates women over 40" -- HA! -- has to go and do a survey of how old is too old to wear a bikini -- or mini skirt or leggings or sexy tops. (What, no mention of shorts, MORE Magazine? Now that's what I call shoddy editing.)

To save you some time (though I encourage you to click on the link to see the full results of the survey), if you are 45 or over, you may as well kill yourself start shopping for muumuus now -- and stock up. Also, those of you 50 or over, if you haven't already done so, chop off all that hair NOW. (Seriously, could this survey be more depressing?)

Interestingly, on the TODAY Show site, where I found the MORE survey, the majority of people (of which I am one) when asked "Should age be a factor in what women wear?" replied "No. Rock it if you got it," which jibes with the comments I received on my related post on this topic, titled "Can women of a certain age wear bikinis?" (All I can say is, God bless you kind readers -- and Helen Mirren.)

As for me, as long as my abs stay as flat as my chest and I can cover my butt, I'm sticking with bikinis.

Rock it if you got it!

So much for my nude dog walking career...

at least in La Jolla. (Click on the photograph to get a larger image.)






















Interestingly, the sign (which is posted near the entrance to Torrey Pines State Reserve in La Jolla, CA) has no prohibition against drinking or alcohol -- just naked trail mix eating dog walkers or hikers. (Guess this woman couldn't read.)

Next time I visit, I will be sure to wear a bikini and bring my cat and a flask. Wouldn't want to violate any rules.

Why is this seal smiling? Plus cutest squirrel ever!

Why is this seal smiling? Because she lives in beautiful, sunny La Jolla, California -- rent and mortgage free -- and gets to nap in the sun all day without having to worry about a sun burn or wrinkles or getting a paycheck or driving her pup to soccer or lacrosse or softball practice. Also, no polar bears.






















These seals also looked pretty happy. And if it had been just a bit warmer (and not illegal), I'm pretty sure the spouse would have jumped over the railing and joined them. :-)





























Also, until this trip, I had never seen beach squirrels before. Must be a California thing, which would explain why they were so mellow and friendly.

The mother of all days

I am typing this from the bathtub of our hotel room. No, I am not lounging in a bubble bath with one of those chic metal trays for soap and a book as would be befitting on Mother's Day. Rather, I am sitting on a towel, in a cold, hard, dry enamel tub, which is in desperate need of re-grouting, because I do not want to disturb the spouse and daughter, who are still sleeping. And when I am done writing this post, I will probably wander down the hall, in my Mets shorts and white t-shirt, to the Starbucks and give everyone in the lobby a thrill get everyone breakfast. Because that's the kind of mother I am.

I know: Where's my medal?

But today's post isn't about me (though let's be serious: all of my posts are in some way, shape, or form all about me). It's about all the great (and not-so-great) mothers out there who made us possible. (Dads, you'll get your turn next month.)

So here's to all the moms who get up early and make sure their kids have a good breakfast each morning; get them to their six zillion after-school and weekend activities week in and week out without ever complaining; help them with their homework and to study for tests; provide a shoulder to cry on, and a kind word when they are feeling down; who nurse them back to health when they are sick; get a warm, healthy dinner on the table each and every night; and read to their children or sit with them before they go to bed every night -- and to all the rest of us poor slobs who thank God each night for making it through another day, without having killed one (or more) of their offspring. This blog post is for you.

Wishing all of you a very happy Mother's Day.

I could use a beer about now (Cinco de Mayo post)

I've been so busy freaking out about planning and packing for our trip to La Jolla, California, I forgot today was Cinco de Mayo -- until I heard the latest "the most interesting man in the world" radio ad for Dos Equis beer:



I'm not sure why but I love the line "He can open a pinata with a wink and a smile." (And, for the record, dicing onions makes me cry, which is probably why I'm not the most interesting man in the world, besides not having a penis, but it does make for good eats -- diced onions, not a penis.)

Well, gotta fly (literally).

Happy Cinco de Mayo. (Just hope it doesn't turn out to be a stinko to fly-o what with Obama in town.)

UPDATED: It turns out the most interesting man in the world is a Jewish actor from the Bronx. (Thanks to friend of the blog J. In La Jolla for sending me the link to the New Yorker article!)

The zen of cat brushing

I think we can learn a lot from cats (besides how to drink from a faucet or squeeze into a tiny box). Especially about relaxing.

I am always amazed how cats can relax anywhere, anytime. Indeed, just watching cats relax makes me feel, well, more relaxed. And after the stressful day I've had (which started with a migraine, and included finding a 1 1/2-inch piece of jagged metal protruding from my right front tire and having to defend an invoice to a client), I could use some relaxation help.

Enter this video of the world's favorite Internet cat, Maru, being brushed. You would think he was getting massage with happy ending. (If you have to ask, go to UrbanDictionary.com.)



Watching this totally relaxing Maru video, I was tempted to furminate Flora, but I don't think it would be a relaxing experience for either one of us. See "How to Lint Roll a Cat" (if you haven't already). And yes, I know furminating is entirely different. So is Flora.

UPDATED: In the spirit of being fair and balanced, at least when it comes to cats and dogs, I present this picture of my friend C.'s Tennessee Husky Hound, Boo, relaxing.
















Got a great pic of your dog or cat relaxing? Link to it in the comments or email it to me and I will post.

You be the judge

So I just got back from taking J-THREE-O shopping for spring clothes at Justice, Aeropostale, and Hollister. And unlike the spouse, I actually went into each store, helped my daughter find clothes, waited while she tried them on, and fetched her different sizes. I know: I deserve a medal.

I actually didn't mind. In fact I kind of enjoyed it. But don't tell her that. The reason: I love the music they play in those stores. (Also, I have better luck finding stuff that fits me in those stores than in the stores supposedly geared to women my age. But that's another story.) But getting back to the music, did you guys know that those 1980s classic new wave songs "Don't You Want Me Baby" by the Human League and Peter Schilling's "Major Tom" had recently been remade?

It's true. Though they are not nearly as good, IMHO, as the originals. But you judge for yourselves -- and let me know what you think.

First up, the Human League's "Don't You Want Me Baby":



And now Atomic Tom's version:



And here's Peter Schilling's "Major Tom":



And Shiny Toy Guns' remake:



Which versions do you like better? Let me know via the Comments.