You gotta love Jimmy Fallon's "Slow Jammin' the News with Brian Williams," or Bri Bri Will Wills, as he's known in hep cat circles. And last night Jimmy and Brian Will.I.Ams slow jammed 'bout Super PACs -- awwww yeah -- and got nasty. Yeah, that's right.
Forget that stupid groundhog. Or the unseasonable warm weather we've been having.
You know how you can tell it's almost spring? Four words: pitchers and catchers report.
[For those of you who are now scratching your heads as to what the heck I am referring to (i.e., most of my readers), I'm talking baseball.]
Ah spring training, when a young woman's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of baseball. Even if she is a Mets fan -- and the Knicks are on a hot streak.
While I am awfully fond of football, baseball was my first love -- and I seriously thought of flying to Florida to observe spring training. But it was not to be this year. Instead, I will simply blog about it.
Btw, for those of my readers, especially the international ones (hi Ange and Anon from Across the Pond!) who may be unfamiliar with baseball, here is a helpful video that explains how the game is played.
(And all you naysayers who say the Mets don't stand a chance of making it into the playoffs this season, that's what they said about the New York Giants.)
After last year's boy fiasco, we (okay I) banned our daughter from going out with a boy until she is at least 16. (If I could, I'd make her wait until college. But good luck with that.) That, however, has not stopped her (and her many friends) from talking about boys.
Rather than describe what these conversations sound like (after all, many if not most of them are carried out via text, IM, and email), though, I thought I would provide this handy visual:
For those of you who think scenes like the "Telephone Hour" from Bye Bye Birdie only happen in movies, or the 1960s, think again, my friends. (Also, you clearly do not have a teenage daughter -- or a woodpecker*.)
After yakking at length with one friend (who called her to discuss their upcoming sleepover, and "other things"), our little reporter turned around and called another girlfriend (whom she had just seen at school a few hours before). I will not relate the subject of these conversations (I tried very hard to ignore what was being said even though you could hear her down the hall and two floors away). But I guarantee that boys were somehow involved.
I can only imagine the frequency and duration of calls when junior and her friends actually start dating in a few years. Shudder.
*Though I haven't seen him in a while, we have a woodpecker that looks just like the one in the video clip, who pecks on our telephone pole, when he's not pecking on the copper siding on our chimney or on one of our trees.
Btw, for those of you who do not regularly drool over "read" Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Edition, that would be Kate Upton, a surgically enhanced* 19-year-old from Florida. And for those of you who do not regularly watch the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, that other picture would be Ch Protocol's Veni Vidi Vici, aka Fifi or the Fifinator, the bitch who won the Working Group (and a champion Doberman Pinscher). I will leave you all to figure out which bitch is which -- and who has the real tits.
[A quick aside re last night's Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show finale. I cannot believe the Pekingese, Malachy, won Best in Show. Best in Show? More like Best in Mop. Sheesh.]
*Can someone please explain what could compel a beautiful teenage girl to have totally unnecessary elective surgery? I find this trend very disturbing.
I am truly blessed to live near four excellent libraries. An embarrassment of literary riches. And as my daughter is also a voracious reader, hardly a weekend goes by when we don't drop by one of them. Especially in winter.
In addition, our town library recently started a book group where patrons share book recommendations, which resulted in several of the books below. I also found some gems via Barnes & Noble's weekly book recommendations.
As per usual, I have grouped or labeled books and included a link to Amazon.com, where you can learn more about each title (and purchase it, if you so choose).
File under "Baseball" and "Bromance":
The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach. This book was so overhyped I was reluctant to read it, even though I love baseball (go Mets!). But I'm glad I did read it, even though I had some issues with certain plot lines (Pella's, Owen's) and character points (wine-colored hair?!). For those of you who thought about picking up the book but didn't because it was about (shudder) baseball, rest assure that while baseball does figure into the story, The Art of Fielding is really a story about male friendships -- or bromance -- and self discovery. It is also beautifully written.
File under "Mystery":
The Case of the Missing Servant and The Case of the Man Who Died Laughing by Tarquin Hall. I loved these two "Vish Puri, Most Private Investigator" mysteries, which are set in India (mainly in Delhi). I loved the whimsical characters, the (Anglo-American) author's use of language, and the humor. (How much did I enjoy these books? I just found out the third book is coming out in July and made a note in pen in my weekly engagement calendar to get it.) If you like a witty mystery set in an exotic locale, check out The Case of the Missing Servant -- and if you liked it, The Case of the Man Who Died Laughing. Killed at the Whim of a Hat by Colin Cotterill. Yet another cheekily written mystery, this time set in Thailand. More great characters (including the narrator, a female crime reporter, her body builder little brother, and her uber hacker transvestite older brother) and a plot that keeps you guessing. I can't wait to read the next book in the series, which is supposed to come out this summer.
File under "British Humor": The Tower, the Zoo, and the Tortoise by Julia Stuart. I would not describe this book as "hilarious" as many reviewers have. (Clearly I do not get British humor.) In fact, I found the tale of love and loss at the Tower of London quite sad and depressing at times. That said, once I got into the story, I rather enjoyed it -- and became quite fond of the main characters by the end. If you are an Anglophile and/or English history buff and enjoy stories about people finding themselves and each other, I recommend The Tower, the Zoo, and the Tortoise (even though it really should be called Lost and Found, for a variety of reasons). The Uncommon Reader by Alan Bennett. More (subtle) British humor. A quick read about what happens when Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, discovers books and becomes an avid reader -- much to the dismay of those around her. A perfect bedtime book, especially if you are an Anglophile and/or an avid reader yourself.
File under "American Humor":
Lunaticsby Dave Barry and Alan Zweibel. You ever read a book and feel guilty about laughing out loud? This is one of those books. Politically incorrect and often annoying (kind of like Chelsea Handler's books), Lunatics is still laugh-out-loud funny. (I am so ashamed.) Another quick, easy read.
File under "Art History" and "La Belle Epoque": Strapless: John Singer Sargent and the Fall of Madame X by Deborah Davis. I clearly have a thing for art history books. Also John Singer Sargent (one of my favorite painters). And Belle Epoque Paris. While nonfiction, Strapless often comes across as historical fiction, which I consider a good thing. A fascinating story about the painter John Singer Sargent and "Madame X," aka Virginie Amelie Avagno Gautreau, the subject of perhaps Sargent's most well known -- and infamous -- painting, Portrait of Madame X.
For more great reads/past Book Nook posts, click here (or on the label, below).
And if you have a book (or books) you would like to recommend, please leave the title and author's name in the Comments.
"You can clean your home in a quicky, when you use your Schticky!" (Schticky? I think someone's been spending too much time in Miami Beach with the altacockers.)
I gotta admit, though, after seeing the infomercial, I was tempted to order a Schticky (or four) -- as you all know how fond I am of lint rollers, and the environment. (That Big Schticky would sure come in handy for getting up cat hair under the bed!) But after the whole ShamWow incident (click on the link above), I'm not sure I'm ready to trust Vince again. Though I love the Schticky infomercial, and how it pokes fun at various misogynistic ads and Vince's run-in with the law.
What about you guys? Would you buy a Schticky?
Bonus video: I bet they could use some Schtickies at the Friskies Playhouse (the Playboy Mansion for cats?)!
or Madonna's "Give Me All Your Luvin'" (featuring Nicki Minaj and infamous Super Bowl half-time bird-flipper M.I.A.)?
Btw, anyone else reminded of Avril Lagigne's "Girlfriend" when they hear or see Madonna's "Give Me All Your Luvin'"?
Well, now you will.
Also, much as I like Madonna, and I do like her music, that video -- more specifically, seeing Madonna dress and act like a teenager -- makes me cringe. So I guess my answer to the question "Whose 'Lovin'' (or 'Luvin'') do you prefer?' is ZZ Top's.
You know how you can tell a great Super Bowl? When the game is more exciting than the Super Bowl commercials. And yesterday's Super Bowl -- featuring the New York Giants vs. the New England Patriots -- did not disappoint. At least Giants' fans. (GIANTS WON! GIANTS WON!) The ads, on the other hand, did. Though a few stood out.
Herewith my Top 3 Super Bowl XLVI ads -- plus honorable mentions.
I have no idea if the spouse is planning on getting me something for Valentine's Day this year. And I would not be in the least bit upset if he didn't get me anything*. But just in case you do decide to get me something, Sweetie, it should positively, absolutely, not be one of the following, which, I am sure some woman out there would appreciate (though I have no idea who you are -- and don't want to know), just not me.
Under no circumstances are you to get me this. Got it, Tiger?
I think you ladies will agree with me when I say WTF?! What am I, eight? Seriously, what grown woman wears footy pajamas -- with ears and a tail? (Hope you didn't have one specially monogrammed for me, honey.)
While I have been known to do windows, I will not be doing you if you get me that outfit. Comprenez, mon amour? (Seriously, I think Victoria's Secret needs to set up a "Mistress" and/or "Role-Playing" section on their website.)
Forget Giants vs. Patriots, this Super Bowl (XLVI), it's all about Volkswagen vs. Acura (and Audi).
Capitalizing on last year's uber successful Darth Vader Super Bowl ad, titled "The Force," Volkswagen now gives us "The Dog Strikes Back," advertising the new and improved (?) Volkswagen Beetle. (Be sure to watch it all the way through to see the Star Wars connection.)
Personally, I think the ad is nowhere near as entertaining as "The Force" (which featured the same or a similar dog, being accosted by Little Lord Vader)...
or even its "Bark Side" teaser:
But I don't think the ad for the new Acura NSX, titled "Transactions" and featuring Jerry Seinfeld (never got him, never will)...
or Audi's "Vampire Party" ad...
is any funnier. (Seriously, vampires are so last year.)
So which ad(s) do you like? And would you buy one of these cars based on the ad? (I hate the Jerry Seinfeld Acura NSX ad, but I totally want that car. ) Leave me a comment.
I started this blog to amuse myself, my friends, and my family. If you are not amused, just click on some other blog. You got millions to choose from. If you are amused, spread the word -- and the link! To contact me, send an email to moodyqt33 [at symbol] hotmail.com.