Saturday, May 30, 2009

Mouse!

This is what greeted me (and my daughter) when we opened the door to our downstairs play area this morning -- along with two not-so-innocent-looking cats who acted as though it was no big deal, which really, it wasn't.

You live in the country (hey, compared to Manhattan, where I grew up, this IS the country). Mice live in the country. You do the math.

I am actually extemely proud of our little mousers (though I am sure it was mostly, if not all, Felix's doing). This is, I believe, their fourth or fifth kill since we've lived here (nine years now -- EEK -- now THAT's scary).

And contrary to the B. Kliban cat (at right), our cats do not eat them little mousies, nor bite their little heads off, nor nibble at their tiny feet. (Well, maybe there's a little nibbling.) They are just in it for the sport. Think mouse hockey.

Oh, and in case you're wondering what happened to the mouse, after snapping several mug shots of the victim (though actually my daughter took the one above), I donned my yellow latex gloves, grabbed a plastic bag, gently lifted and bagged the mouse, and deposited it in the garbage can in our garage -- without awaking the spouse, who is still sound asleep, upstairs.

As for Felix, he is taking a well deserved nap.

(Hmmm.... I wonder if Felix is keeping score, if in some dark corner downstairs he has one of those prison-wall-style hash mark systems noting his kills.)

Friday, May 29, 2009

Anyone else grossed out when Mets pitcher Mike Pelfrey licks his hand between pitches?

I'm sitting here watching Pelfrey pitch against the Florida Marlins (because I'm a huge Mets fan, and I have no social life), and it is seriously grossing me out.

Don't get me wrong, I like Mike Pelfrey, especially when he doesn't balk three times in a game. (He also happens to be pretty cute.) But ever since WFAN's morning talk show host Craig Carton went off about Pelfrey licking his hands after (or before) every pitch the other morning, how it was almost like he was making out with his hand, I cannot watch Pelfrey pitch.

Making matters worse, this morning WFAN Boomer & Carton Show producer Al Dukes debuted his homage to Pelfrey's pitching ritual, titled "Lick My Hand," sung to the tune of Hootie and the Blowfish's "Hold My Hand," which you can hear here.

I realize that all baseball players have their batter's box tics -- whether it's adjusting their "junk" or their batting gloves or crossing themselves or sticking out their tongue while waiting for a pitch. But licking one's hands between pitches... ew. (It is also HIGHLY unsanitary. I know, like Pelfrey or the Mets care.)

But, as long as Pelfrey keeps winning games, even with spitballs, I'll remain a fan -- though I'll have to turn my head away (or pray that camera man does) between pitches.

***FOR MORE ON THE PELF, HIS OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE PRE-PITCH HAND LICKING, AND AL DUKES "PELFREY MEETS MICHAEL JACKSON" SONG, CLICK HERE.***

Archie proposes to Veronica! Betty (and fans) STUNNED!

Though is anyone really surprised that Archie Andrews, that red-headed slacker of the eponymous comic books, took 68 years to pop the question -- and popped it to heiress Veronica Lodge instead of good ole reliable gal pal Betty Cooper?

While it may be one of the few times in history that a man (fictional or real) chose a brunette over a blonde (though, according to the website Jezebel, brunettes have been making a comeback), are any of you really surprised that Archie picked Veronica over Betty? Really? Cause in the real world, given a choice, like, eight or nine times out of ten, the guy goes for the bitchy, seemingly unattainable girl instead of the cute, nice girl who would kill for a date with him, even if he is a total loser. And at least when I was reading Archie comics, Archie clearly preferred Veronica over Betty, even though Veronica treated Archie like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of her extremely expensive peep-toe shoes that she wanted to scrape off.

Anyway, the comic (#600!) arrives on newsstands, or wherever Archie comics are sold these days, later this summer, in August, and already there is a huge outcry. (To read what fans are saying and/or express your own opinion head on over to Archie & best friend/man Jughead's blog, which broke the news, and where the image is from. Also check out TODAYShow.com contributor Mike Celizic's piece on the impending proposal.)

No word from former (?) rival for Veronica's affections Reggie Mantle on the late-breaking news.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

When did women golfers get to be hot?

And I ain't talkin' temperature, people.

Some of you (like certain golf-playing second cousins of mine ; ) may have been aware of this trend. However, the existence of golf babes only came to my attention last week, after I saw (and read) an article from Time.com titled "Lady Golfers for Rent: Escort Service for Duffers" on CNN.com.

My first reaction: Who would want to rent a woman golfer? When I was growing up most of the women I saw playing golf (with the exception of my mother, a former model) basically looked like short, stocky men in too-short Lilly Pulitzer skirts and too-tight polo shirts. Not a pretty sight.

But clearly times have changed (though not necessarily the fashions) -- to the point that there is actually a list of "The 50 Hottest Female Golfers of All Time." (Fifty?! Really?! I thought, maybe five, but 50? Who knew!)

And while I may not have noticed that the LPGA had added a swimsuit competition, the attraction of attractive female golfers did not escape the eagle eye of entrepreneur and golfer Nisha Sadekar, a former LPGA prospect. Sadekar is the founder of Play Golf Designs, which for a fee, will hook you up with "one of the company's roster of beautiful female professional golfers, [who] will play a round or two with you and your co-workers at a corporate outing, with your clients who need to be schmoozed or just with you and your buddies during a bachelor party," according to the Time.com article. (Btw, my second reaction to the article was 'why is it perfectly OK to rent or hire a male pro but hiring a female pro for a few hours sounds so... dirty?')

This gives whole new meaning to the golf terms "ball washer," "banana ball," "hooker," "snake," "sweetspot" and the whole idea of "fore" play.

NOTE: The "hottie" in the picture, as a buddy just referred to her offline, is Natalie Gulbis, who came in at #1 on the list of 50 Hottest Female Golfers of All Time. Schwing!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

An Engineer's Guide to Cat Yodeling (The boys are back!)

Engineers Paul and T.J. are back and in fine form with their latest video, "An Engineer's Guide to Cat Yodeling (with Cat Polka)."

Even if you don't particularly like cats, the video is pretty funny.



H/T to Cute Overload.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Stormy days ahead for U.S. Senate?

Louisiana has always had an interesting political history, but now a new provocative -- dare I say, titillating? -- chapter is being written, as former porn star and current political aspirant Stormy Daniels takes on former john and current Louisiana Senator David Vitter (R) in the 2010 Louisiana Senate race.







Here's Stormy and busty news babe Contessa Brewer sharing some girl talk on MSNBC a couple weeks ago, during Stormy's listening tour:

Since then, Stormy has made it official, creating an exploratory committee in her quest to become the next junior Senator from the great State of Louisiana. (I wonder who her senior advisor is, Bill Clinton? As for campaign manager, native son James Carville gets my vote.)

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with David Vitter, he's the Harvard-educated Congressman whose number was found in the phone records of D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey a couple of years back -- and begged forgiveness from God and his wife (in that order) after getting caught with his pants down.

For those of you unfamiliar with Stormy Daniels, she was editor of her high school newspaper, in addition to serving as president of her school’s 4-H club, before going on to have a lucrative career as an actress, screenwriter, and director of Wicked adult films.

Btw, for those of you who doubt that Ms. Daniels has the intellectual heft to be taken seriously, according to published reports, she fielded questions from fellow Louisianians quite adroitly during her recent listening tour and could be a serious contender for the Louisiana U.S. Senate seat.

Considering the number of big boobs already in Congress, Ms. Daniels, should she be elected, would be right at home.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Felix and the FURminator, Part 1... and Part 2

Actually, this post (and video) should be called "Felix vs. the FURminator," or "FURminator FAIL," because, despite what many of you said, about pets just loving the FURminator, Felix did NOT enjoy being FURminated. In fact, he much preferred the lint roller. But as we all know from science class, experiments don't always turn out the way you planned or hoped -- but you still have to turn in a report.

But before you watch (and judge) the video, which was filmed by a giggling just-turned-11-year-old, a bit of background.

As many (if not most) of you know, we have two cats, Flora, a 15-pound torbie (i.e., a cross between a tortoiseshell and a tabby), who is six, and Felix, a three-year-old, three-foot-long mostly black cat who bares a striking resemblance to as well as the leaping abilities of a Sifaka lemur.

And both cats shed. A lot. Typically all over my laptop and my wireless keyboard and my desk and.... You get the drift. So in addition to keeping a dustbuster next to my office chair, I keep a lint roller. And every so often, I gently lint roll whichever cat happens to be in front of me.

I thought it a pretty good method, and blogged about it a while back. (Of course, the day we decided to film me lintrolling Flora, she got all uppity and started attacking the lint roller. But I guess that's what you get for trying to get a cat to act on cue.) Anyway, after seeing my post and the video, people started telling me about the FURminator de-shedding tool. People didn't just tell or write me about it, they RAVED about it. So, we gave in and bought one, finally, a couple weeks ago. And yesterday morning, in honor of J-THREE-O's 11th birthday, we decided to test it out.

So, without further ado, FriskieLand pictures and J-TWO-O Productions present "Felix and the FURminator, Part 1."



UPDATED 5/25/09: Felix and the FURminator, Part 2: This morning, during a quiet moment over breakfast, I decided to try FURminating Felix again -- without the bright lights and camera rolling. And I have to say, it was a success. Felix really seemed to enjoy being FURminated this time, purring loudly and rolling onto his back so I could FURminate his belly. The only problem was the shed fur, which I needed to lint roll up, so it didn't fly all over the kitchen. So as I FURminated, the spouse lint-rolled the excess fur off Felix and the chair, and I have to say, Felix really seemed to enjoy the combination de-shedding treatment. However, I think the FURminator people need to come up with a combination FURminator - Flowbee device, to instantly suck up all the excess fur. (Billy Mays, if you happen to be reading this, have your people call my people.) Next up, Flora (who is, as per usual, lounging across my desk, pawing my right hand as I type this)....

UPDATE #2: Flora and the FURminator: Feeling good about my earlier FURminator experience with Felix, I decided to have a go at Flora, who several times attempted (and succeeded) at whacking me with outstretched claws as I tried to FURminate her.

Still, I would have to call the experience a success as she seemed to (mostly) enjoy it, at least when I stuck to her back. Though objectively I think it's still a tie between the lint roller and the FURminator in terms of de-shedding enjoyment. And I still think there needs to be a vacuum/suction-type device attached to the FURminator to quickly suck up excess/shed fur.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Twitter, so easy a cat can do it. Plus: Kitties!

I may be biased here, but I always thought our cats, Felix and Flora, were smarter than the average cat. But they are no Sockington (nickname "Socks").

Who is this Sockington and how could he possible be smarter than my two geniuses? Well, despite them being able to type, neither Felix nor Flora has figured out how to microblog, unlike Sockington, who apparently not only microblogs but has over 500,000 followers on Twitter.

And for those skeptics and haters who say it isn't Sockington at all but his chief of staff, Jason Scott, a 38-year-old computer historian and computer administrator from Waltham, MA, who is in fact ghost Tweeting for the gray-and-white feline, all I can say is your heart is two sizes too small. And watch for the announcement of Felix and Flora's Twitter pages.

Btw, speaking of Felix and Flora, the FURminator arrived in the mail about a week ago, and I am going to attempt to FURminate both cats this weekend. Video (and possibly Tweets) to come.

Lastly, in honor of Memorial Day weekend, a memorable kitty video clip, courtesy of friend of the blog VB and Cute Overload. (Note: No kitties were harmed in the making of this video.)



Wishing you a memorable holiday weekend...

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Drooling on my keyboard

I've been suffering from seasonal allergies (at least I hope it's just seasonal allergies) and last night took two nighttime liquid caplets of God only knows what and can barely function this morning, and have to head over to school to check out the "Invention Convention," aka the fifth grade Science Fair.

But try as I might to concentrate (I KNEW I should have had all caf, not half-caf, this morning), and go brush my teeth and put my contact lenses in, I just can't (in part because Felix is passed out in my lap.)

And for some strange reason, I keep playing "Never You Done That" by General Public over and over again on my mental jukebox.



Odd...

If anything newsworthy (other than American Idol gossip, celebrity boob jobs, or the Mets trading everyone except Johan Santana, David Wright, and Carlos Beltran) occurs, I'll post it later.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Adam Lambert and Kris Allen go glamo a mano on tonight's American Idol finale. Now with Results Show updates!

Finally, it's all come down to this, Idol fans, your top two: Kris Allen, the petite shy guy from Conway, Arkansas, and Adam Lambert, the bigger than life seasoned performer from San Diego. (Though looking at their matching outfits tonight, it's getting harder to tell the difference, at least with their mouths closed.)

Many thought it would be Danny Gokey and Adam rockin' the Nokia Theatre in L.A. tonight. But like Howard Dean in the 2004 primaries, one fateful scream appears to have derailed Danny's chances of making it to the finals, though he will no doubt wind up cutting a record anyway.

So who will it be, America? Who will be your next American Idol? Will it be Kris Allen, who clearly has the sorority girl and cougar vote? Or will it be Adam Glambert, who has the judges and producers and the likes of Jamie Foxx and Katy Perry wildly applauding each time he takes the stage?

And while Randy, Kara, Paula, and Simon judge, you get to be the jury as each contestant lays out (or sings) his case as to why he should be the next American Idol.

[In other Idol news: According to published reports, Idol contestants Anoop Desai and Megan Joy are now an item. Whoa. Didn't see that matchup coming. Vedy intehvesting.]

First up... Adam once again singing "Mad World."

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttts sooooooooooooooooo slooooooooooooooow. I find it hard to tell you, and you'll find it hard to take, but the dreams in which I'm dying may indeed feature Adam Lambert singing "Mad World." That was downright painful. If he had just speeded it up a wee bit... and lost the dry ice and the frock coat. But clearly I am the only one who felt she was waiting for grass to grow, because the judges clearly already decided that Adam is your next American Idol (except for Simon -- God bless his T-shirt covered heart).

And before all you Adam haters start fuming, I used to really like Adam, AND I like the song "Mad World," the original Tears for Fears version.

Next up, Kris singing "Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone."

Okay, folks. I am telling you RIGHT NOW, I am voting for Kris. I am no fan of ballads (power or otherwise) or "love songs" (nothing but love songs), but I would buy this single if Kris released it. That was BEAUTIFUL. And his wife, Katy, looks gorgeous.

Bravo for the judges FINALLY acknowledging that Kris is in it to win it.

Like Simon said, Round One goes to Kris.

Round Two Adam: Sam Cook's "A Change Is Gonna Come"...

No clue why Simon Fuller picked THIS song for Adam. Odd choice. (J-THREE-O just ran out of the room -- and Adam is screaming. Now I know why Simon Fuller picked that song. Gotta get in that trademark Adam Led Zeppelin screaming trill.)

I am still waiting for a change to come with Adam's performance. But it was same old, same old Adam, though to the judges that meant it was "brilliant." Me, not so much. Yawn.

Okay, I may be alone here in my own little universe, but all of Adam's performances sound exactly the same. I can tell you exactly how he is going to sing -- and that there will be at least one trademark Adam Led Zeppelin screaming trill. 'Nuff said.

Simon Fuller's choice for Kris, "What's Going On."

Okay, WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THESE SONG CHOICES? Did I miss the Motown Night memo? I like Motown but I could use some less town.

You know what I like about Kris? He's a musician. And he clearly loves playing music. Just look at his face while he plays the guitar. He's transported.

Yeah, he doesn't have the flash or panache of Adam, but he's keeping it real, dawgs.

And as for Randy's criticism, yo, dude, your BOSS chose that song, not Kris. And as for you, Simon, F.U. with the whole "it sounded like three friends strumming in a bedroom to Marvin Gaye." And enough with rearranging every single song "to make it your own." Sometimes it's okay to just sing the damn song the way it's supposed to be sung. Feh.

[Aside: If I see one more effing commercial for Glee, I'm going puke on my keyboard, which would be bad as I'm off warranty. Hasn't Fox ever heard the expression too much of a good (or bad) thing...?]

Back to Adam.... They picked a song written by Kara DioGuardi?! Well, good to know it will be yet another lame American Idol anthem. (Still waiting for a change to come.) Should be fun listening to the judges critique this one.

My objective opinion: Sucky song, mediocre performance -- but there was almost no way for Adam to do a brilliant job with this one. Will it matter? Doubtful. But not a great way for Adam to go out. Randy nailed it -- definitely not Adam's best. Kara needs to go. Wow, Simon the diplomat. Who'da thunk it?

[J-THREE-O has muted the Glee commercial. Love that child. Of course she has memorized them, but she's far more entertaining.]

Last but not least (I hope), Kris tackles "No Boundaries," possibly the suckiest American Idol anthem ever (and that's saying something). I actually think he's doing a decent job. It's just an impossible song to sing. Still, better than Adam. (Sorry Adam lovers. I just like this version better.) As for J-THREE-O, she left the room after the first few chords.

Again, not Kris's best performance, and not the best performance to go out on, but I'm with Randy, that song fit Kris better -- and I really think Kara needs to go. Now. And she can take Paula with her. But I'm with Simon that Kris should be proud and deserves to be on that stage.

As to who will be your next American Idol, I am not going to call it. I think Kris probably has the Danny Gokey vote/voters, but the judges and a lot of other people I know really really want Adam. In either case, both of these guys are going to have musical careers -- and probably very successful ones at that. Because on Idol, even if you lose, you're a winner.

Lines are now open, and I'm off to text my vote for Kris.

Will update this post tomorrow night during the finale.

UPDATE #1: Per DialIdol.com, Kris has a very slight edge over Adam in the voting, but statistically it's a draw. And as DialIdol.com does not account for texted votes, just measures the busy signal on the lines, it's not as accurate as it used to be. Still, I bet the vote was close -- and that Kris could win, though I think it unlikely. Stay tuned, Idol fans...

RESULTS SHOW UPDATE: This has GOT to be the weirdest, wackiest, wildest American Idol results show EVER. Not even close. Just finished watching Adam and Kris and am speechless (though I can still type, barely). The spouse just said "They should have painted Adam's face white, too." Ya think? And what was he wearing? New Year's Eve balls as epaulets?

Except for the Danny Gokey - Lionel Richie duet, because I hate Lionel Richie with the intensity of a thousand suns and his music makes me want to hurt people, the duets have been the best part of tonight's show. The Kris Allen - Keith Urban duet was terrific. The spouse (a former professional musician) said he could totally hear that on the radio (high praise). And I really liked the Allison Iraheta - Cyndi Lauper duet, too. Beautiful. Even Queen Latifah and Lil Rounds were good. (I don't count what Kara did with Katrina a "duet" -- more like soft porn.)

But the group numbers... aaaiiieee. Not pretty. Thank God I got out of buying American Idol concert tickets this year.

And that Ford commercial? Huh? Wha? Was that Ford's sales I heard tanking? Hey, enjoy your Ford Fusions, guys! You earned them!

Wow, Steve Martin. STEVE MARTIN!!! I love Steve Martin. But Michael and Megan just TRASHED his beautiful song. Did you see the look of PAIN on Steve Martin's face? It said "They're fu@king up my song! Damn. Why did I agree to do this stupid show?" Dunno Steve. Talk to Cyndi and Lionel and Rod. It's all about the Benjamins, Steve-O, and that new album dropping tomorrow.

Oh yippee, ANOTHER group song. Does Rod Stewart have pictures of Simon with farm animals or something, or vice versa? OMG, that was EMBARRASSING. Worse than a Russian cruise ship karaoke performance.

And speaking of Rod Stewart. I think he shouldn't have spent the weekend at Bernie's, if you catch my drift. He looks like DEATH. Yowza. Did they give him a shot of something so he wouldn't fall over? And who exactly is the target demographic here? Rod Stewart? Lionel Richie? Cyndi Lauper? And please don't tell me I'm the target demo, even though I grew up (sort of) on those guys. I much prefer Lady Gaga and Kelly Clarkson and Jason Mraz.

Wow, and I totally forgot all about Tatiana del Toro. But how quickly we remember. That was just sad. And I was sure Whitney was going to pop out and start singing. (Did you catch the look on Ruben Studdard's face?) Sad.

Okay, Idol has now totally crossed the line into Ultimate Karaoke. : - / Is this some extended commercial for Fox's new show Glee? Seriously. This is like some bad (really bad) high school musical.

Thank GOD: At last... THE RESULTS... And... And... And... After a nationwide vote of 100 million... KRIS ALLEN.








OMG. WoW. Kris Allen is your new American Idol. NO ONE would have even thunk it six months ago -- a month ago. Not even Kris! My guess: It was the Danny Gokey voters who put Kris over the edge. Simon and Kara are totally in shock. But don't despair, Adam fans. I have two words for you: Chris Daughtry. 'Nuff said.

Okay, that's a wrap, folks. Surprised? Bummed? Think Adam was robbed? Leave me a comment.

UPDATED AT 10:50 A.M. 5/21/09: Just read Courtney Hazlett's Scoop column on Idol, re why changes need to be made to the show next year if it wants to keep viewers coming back. I don't necessarily agree with her first two suggestions, but her third one, about cutting the final song is DEAD ON.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Chuck Me

Thank you, NBC, for renewing Chuck. My Monday nights would not be the same without Chuck and Morgan and the rest of the Nerd Herd, Sarah, Casey, Devon, and Ellie. Pathetic, I know, but true.

Here's the deal: Everyone has a guilty pleasure, something they do in private or the privacy of their own home that only close family or close friends know about. My guilty pleasure? The television show Chuck on NBC.

I. LOVE. CHUCK. It is the only primetime network or cable show (yes, even including American Idol) that I go out of my way to watch. Every week. No matter where I am. Even the spouse and kid know not to disturb me (except during commercials) between 8 and 9 p.m. Monday nights, when Chuck airs on NBC. I love the humor and the pathos and the writing. I love the chemistry between the cast members. I love Adam Baldwin as Major (now Colonel) John Casey. It's as if I know these people. And after two seasons, I feel like I do.

That's why, when I heard that NBC might not renew Chuck for a third season, I despaired. WHAT DO YOU MEAN NBC MIGHT NOT RENEW CHUCK?! I wailed to anyone who would listen (i.e., the cats and the spouse, even though NONE of them cared).

It's bad enough that I am going to have to get through an entire summer without an exciting new episode of my favorite nerdy spy (i.e., Chuck), his handlers, Sarah and Casey, and the Buy More crew saving the world, but a lifetime?! Say it isn't so, NBC! (In terms of TV travesties, this was right up there with ABC axing Monday Night Football -- a fact I still mourn come football season. And do NOT tell me Sunday Night Football on NBC or Monday Night Football on ESPN is the same thing. They are not)

Indeed, I was so frantic about the possibility of a Chuck-less Monday (even though I like the Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother), I, like thousands of other (mostly male, teen or twentysomething) fans, begged NBC execs to renew Chuck online. And it worked! Albeit with a catch. Apparently, per published reports, NBC has only asked for 13 episodes (as opposed to 22 or 26), and there are to be two fewer writers (no, not the writers!) and other budget cuts. And there are going to be way more Subway references. But still, Chuck has been saved -- to once again save the world for $11/hour on Monday nights. PHEW.

Though I am pissed that I have to wait until after the Winter Olympics in February to catch the first episode of Season Three.

Still, thank you, NBC.

And thank you, cast and crew of Chuck, for bringing us great scenes like this one from the Season Two finale:



Best version of "Mr. Roboto" EVER.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Want to make new friends while burning some calories, ladies? I've got two words for you: roller derby.

And here I was thinking (or had been told) that joining a book club or taking a pilates class was the best way to make new friends. Ha! Book clubs and pilates are for wusses.

Per CNN, moms, wives, even teachers -- i.e., real women -- are finding the best way to find "fun, friendship, and fitness" is by, you guessed it, participating in roller derby. And you get a really cool new nickname, like "Cykosis" or "Fanny Harmher," to boot. Awesome. ("J-TWO-HO" anyone?)
Who knew burning 400 calories (or more!) an hour could be so much fun?! And you know if Dr. Sanjay Gupta recommends it, it's gotta be good for you, ladies.

And just look what roller-skating did for Jessica Simpson and gal pals Christina Applegate and Eva Longoria! (Sorry, but I can't find a version of the roller-skating lovelies with an embed code. So you'll just have to watch them burn calories on YouTube.)

Sign me up! (Not.)

[Btw, for those of you interested in joining a women's roller derby league, here's a list. You're welcome.]

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Whoa Nellie! Rachel Alexandra first filly in 85 years to win the Preakness!

What a race! What a horse! Wow.

Rachel Alexandra was not only the first filly since Nellie Morse to win the Preakness Stakes, she was the first ever horse in the 13th post position to do so. Calvin Borel is one lucky -- and amazing -- jockey.

Kudos also to Kentucky Derby winner Mine That Bird, ridden by Mike Smith, who came in second in today's 134th running of the Preakness Stakes at Pimlico.

Wow. Just Wow.

Dust... Wind... Dude... (Reflecting on the loss of a dear friend)

On Friday, around 12:30 p.m. ET, I found out my dear friend, David York, had died. His heart gave out -- the very evening he was accepted into a heart transplant program. David was only 51 (or maybe 52), much too young to die, with everything to live for -- a loving girlfriend, who cherished him in sickness and in health, and a loving daughter, who was pregnant with her first child. Every time I think about him, the fact he is no more, I choke up.

The funny thing is, I only actually met David once, this last September. (More about that in a minute.) But I always felt like we were old friends.

I first "met" David several years ago, while writing a series of case studies for a client. David's company was on my list of companies to contact -- and David was the contact. And boy did he give me a hard time. It took three lengthy calls and I forget how many emails to get him to agree to do it. But by the time I finished interviewing him, which was probably by then the fourth or fifth time we had chatted, we were friends -- in fact, good friends. Indeed, he became a friend for life.

After the case study, David and I emailed and chatted on the phone frequently. He even sent me a birthday present one year, some CDs he thought I'd enjoy. (I did.) And he got me a gig doing marcom for his company, with the VP of marketing, who has since become one of my best and most loyal clients (and blog readers). In fact, she was the one who told me of David's passing.

Last September, I finally got to meet David and his girlfriend, Lisa, while they were in New York attending the U.S. Open. We met for what has to have been one of the world's longest brunches. At the end of brunch, when they had to catch a plane back to Denver, we all agreed we wished we had gotten together sooner -- and would have to get together again, soon. In fact, the spouse and I were planning to go to Denver for a few days this summer, to visit David and Lisa, while our daughter was at sleep away camp.

Overcome with grief, and in need of venting some of it, I wrote of David's sudden death this morning on my Facebook page, noting how life is too short and precious to squander. And was touched by the number of friends who left a comment. Two comments in particular got to the heart of the matter, and made me smile.

From Larissa (who often leaves comments in haiku), I got these words of wisdom: "Be excellent to each other," first spoken by Bill and Ted and Rufus in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. And from the same movie, blog reader Powaqqatsi wrote, "Dust, Wind, Dude."



Truer words were perhaps never spoken.

So in the name of Bill and Ted and Rufus and Socrates, Be excellent to one another, dudes. For like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives...

Friday, May 15, 2009

Because it's all about the penis

I know you all don't believe me when I tell you I don't go looking for this stuff, it just pops up when I least expect it, but it's true! Like last night, I decide to check out the marketing blog of this guy I met at a networking event, and found this staring me in the face:



And I was, like, wtf is that doing here? (When I told the story to a friend, who is also acquainted with this person, his immediate response was, "It's because he's a prick!" Which totally explains it.)

Then this morning, I'm reading msnbc.com and -- BOING! -- I see "Out of work? At least the Viagra's free." And again, I'm like, wtf is going on here? (For the record, Pfizer's not just giving away Viagra. The drug maker is providing more than 70 of its prescription drugs at no cost to unemployed, uninsured Americans, who have lost jobs since Jan. 1 and have been on the Pfizer drug for three months or more.)

So then I go back to the msnbc.com home page, and there at the top is this hard-hitting news story about an "adult" (i.e., sexually explicit) theme park set to open in China, the intention of which, supposedly, is to get the Chinese to talk about sex. Though considering that China is the most populous country in the world, you would think that they had figured out this sex thing a while ago. More importantly, this is one of your five lead-off stories, msnbc.com? Really?

And then I looked at the other msnbc.com "top" stories, about the NBA finals and a possible U.S. - Canada trade war, and I'm thinking: Okay, you got sports, war, and sex. Hmm... I wonder which gender this is aimed at? (Btw, that would be a rhetorical question.)

So I surf on over to NYTimes.com to get a reality check, as well as, hopefully, some gender balanced coverage, and there I find, right there at the top of the home page, the WASHINGTONIAN cover with a shirtless Barack Obama, accompanying the teaser for Judith Warner's latest blog post, titled "A Hot Time in Washington."

Finally, some news I can relate to.

Here's to finding what you're looking for, online and off...

UPDATED 5/18/09: I just learned from the blog "I could cry but I don't have time" that it was recently National Penis Day in Japan (though it may not be called exactly that). Still, whatever the official designation, the pictures from the celebration (PG-13?) are well worth a look. (The spouse particularly liked the penis nose funny glasses.)

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Miss California Carrie Prejean lost her top but kept her crown. The uncoverage continues.

Thank God for Matt Lauer and The TODAY Show and now Jon Stewart and The Daily Show for keeping Miss California Carrie Prejean -- and her breasts -- front and center. That hard-hitting interview (the fourth? fifth? sixth? I've lost count) Matt did with Ms. Prejean and Donald Trump this morning sure made for must-see TV. Not.

[Note: As I was searching for this clip I discovered that there are SEVENTEEN video clips relating to Miss California Carrie Prejean up on the TODAY site right now. Seventeen clips. Wow.]

For the record, I do not believe for a second that Carrie Prejean had no clue that that photographer was taking pictures of her while her breasts were (somewhat) exposed. So spare me that pouty hurt look and stop blaming others for your indiscretions, sweetheart.

Oh, and how did The TODAY Show follow-up this hard-hitting story? With a piece featuring The Biggest Loser's Jillian Michaels discussing "Fat Talk," why it's bad for girls, and how girls get such bad body images. (Excuse me, TODAY producers, have you actually watched your show? Did you not see the preceding segment about that surgically enhanced, bleached blonde, Miss California? Hello!)

And in case anybody missed a second of Carrie and the Trumpster, TODAY's Hoda Kotbe and Kathie Lee Gifford rehashed it, steamy photos and all, at the top of the ten o'clock hour this morning.

It's like The TODAY Show's obsessed.

Unlike Jon Stewart and The Daily Show, which for weeks tried to avoid covering -- or uncovering -- the Miss California story, but finally gave in last night:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c
The Pageant of the Christ
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Economic CrisisPolitical Humor
Definitely a more proper venue for this ridiculous story -- and waaaay funnier. (Seriously, when is Comedy Central going to give Donald Trump his own show? "If her beauty wasn't so great, nobody would have cared"? Now that's funny!)

UPDATED 6/11/09: Alas, Carrie Prejean has been stripped... of her crown, allegedly for refusing to strip for Playboy. I know, I know. I am as shocked and disappointed as all of you.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The American Idol Three-Way: Will Adam be on top? Or Will Kris and Danny be the last men standing?

Wow, 300 episodes. And I have probably watched most of them. What a waste of a life.

If the judges have their way -- and tonight's theme on American Idol is "Judges' Choice" -- Adam Lambert, he of the black eyeliner, matching nail polish and Led Zeppelin screaming trill, is pretty much assured a place in the finals. But then again, you never know. Kris Allen, who has the cougar and sorority girl vote, and Danny "I lost my wife and found God" Gokey, who has never been in the bottom three or two, could wind up in the finale together, nudging out Adam.

While I am pretty sure it will be Adam vs. Danny on May 19, I'm not willing to bet on it... yet.

And now, America, here are your American Idols...

First up, Danny Gokey, singing Paula Abdul's choice, "Dance Little Sister"...

Personally, I think it's an odd (i.e., bad) choice. And I do not remember the song at all, which, considering I am a mainstream Top 40 radio kind of gal, and like Terence Trent D'Arby, does not bode well for Mr. Gokey, in terms of audience recognition and appeal.

It was a good -- okay better than good, but NOT great -- performance, but it seemed a bit screechy and forced. I'm with Kara: I am NOT going to remember that performance tomorrow -- or 10 minutes from now. And I'm with Simon that Danny would have been MUCH better served by singing "Sign Your Name," which ALWAYS gives me chills. (J-THREE-O is nudging me, asking me to write that in her humble opinion "Hero" was by far Danny's best performance. I think the kid has something.)

And now... Kris Allen singing "Apologize." (J-THREE-O says "GREAT choice. I knew it. It's perfect for him.") Cougars and sorority girls are standing by...

Props to Randy Jackson and Kara DioGuardi. Now they picked the right song for Kris. And definitely a good move on Kris's part to play the piano.

Huh? Wha? What on Earth is Kara talking about?! I am not a huge Kris fan, and I thought he was GREAT. And SHE is the one who picked the friggin' song. I am 100% with Simon. And convinced that the judges are TOTALLY gunning for an Adam vs. Danny finale.

[Btw, for you baseball fans, the Mets are losing, 0 - 1, to the Atlanta Braves at the bottom of the 5th, and I am extremely torn -- and, OMG, there was a streaker -- with a Mets thong! -- on Citi Field!!! Dang, I wish we had a TV with picture in picture.]

Back to Idol and Adam, who will be singing U2's "One," as chosen by Simon Cowell, who personally got Bono on the phone to get his permission to let Adam sing the song. If that is not proof that Simon wants Adam to win it, I don't know what is.

And the sad thing is, I really like the song, but I AM HATING -- HATING -- Adam's interpretation. It sounds like every other song that Adam has sung, complete with his signature Led Zeppelin screaming trill. Yawn. (For this, I turned off the Mets game?) And OMG, could someone, please, bitch slap Kara? Please? And while they're at it, muzzle Simon? Please?

[Getting back to the Mets, Mike Pelfrey, the Mets starting pitcher, who I think is way cute -- sorry, but he IS -- is still pitching, which is pretty amazing, especially considering the Atlanta Braves just scored a second run and got yet another base hit. When will manager Jerry Manuel learn he's gotta pull Pelfrey in the 6th? Sigh. Well, at least only one run scored.]

We now return to our regularly scheduled blog post...

Yeah, whatever happened to "Idol Gives Back"? All I can say is God bless Carrie Underwood -- though I'm pretty sure He already has. LOVE her (as do the folks who produce American Idol).

[Back to the Mets. Bottom of the 6th. And... One, two, three... and they're out. Sigh.]

Danny Gokey, Round 2: "You Are So Beautiful" by Joe Cocker...

The spouse thinks this could be good. I'm not so sure. J-THREE-O is with spouse.

A little pitchy... A little too slow... and not that beautiful. Sorry, dawg, you can do waaaaay better, though it was better than Paula's song choice. (Don't know what the judges were listening to. It was good, but not "stunning," Kara. Seriously, can someone slap that woman?) More proof that the judges are totally rooting for an Adam - Danny finale. (Sorry Kris.)

And now for Kris Allen's second song, "Heartless"...

Interesting song choice. Inspired by the judges? ; )

OK, straight up: Kris totally outperformed Danny tonight, IMHO, and deserves to be in the finale. No, he is not the best singer, but he can sing and will sell way more records than Danny. And it was a solid performance. I have decided: we are voting for Kris.

OH SHUT UP, KARA. (I will pay someone to bitch slap that woman. Any takers? I got a crisp $20 right here. $40 if you throw in Paula.)

While it somewhat pains me to say this, Simon was right again (though I totally disagree with him re Adam).

[Dang, Mets STILL haven't scored. And we missed the first part of Adam's song, which I totally cannot understand.]

And speaking of Mr. Lambert... Huh? Wha? I totally did not get that. And I TOTALLY DISAGREE with Randy. And Kara. And Paula. And Simon. J-THREE-O is so miffed she is leaving and said, and I quote, "He sucked a whole bag of Riccola." (Gosh I love that kid.)

Seriously, I think Adam can sing, but he SCREECHED that song -- and has become totally UNORIGINAL and predictable. (Go ahead Adam lovers, lay your hate on me.)

My prediction and hope: Adam and Kris, American Idol finale.

Tomorrow night on Idol: Katy Perry (whom I love) and Jordin Sparks...

Now back to the Mets... where it's now Atlanta 3, Mets 2 at the bottom of the 8th...

UPDATED EARLY A.M. 5/13/09: Wow, what a game! The Mets came back to win it, 3 - 2, in the bottom of the 10th. The spouse and I were squeezing each other's hands so tightly through the 9th, when the Mets tied it up and nearly won, and the 10th, when they did, I can barely type. Here's the rundown from Filip Bondy of the New York Daily News.

And in American Idol news... Dial Idol shows Adam, Kris, and Danny in a statistical three-way tie -- but it doesn't account for texted votes, so isn't that reliable. Still, going to be a tough one. Stay tuned, Idol fans!

UPDATED 5/13/09 AT 10 P.M. ET:
Well, Idol fans, it's going to be Adam Lambert vs. Kris Allen (i.e., Mr. Vegas vs. Cougar Bait) in the American Idol finale next week. I personally am not surprised, though the judges seemed to be. I think this pretty much guarantees an Adam Lambert victory, though. Thoughts? Opinions? Do you think Danny was robbed? Leave me a comment...

Btw, if you want more info on last night's American Idol results show, including video, click here. Want to see Katy Perry's "official" video for "Waking Up in Vegas"? Here you go. (Btw, I'm with Craig Berman over at MSNBC.com, whom I link to above, that her performance last night was way better than her vocals, and that if she were a contestant, she'd be in trouble, except maybe with Simon, who'd give her a pass based on that outfit alone.)

What, me gamble? You betcha!

Shhh. Don't tell anyone, but I'm playing hooky today (just for a few hours). Me and my good buddy G. are going native -- Native American that is, and are about to head up to Mohegan Sun for a little blackjack, slots, and drinks at Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville. Woohoo!

For those of you unfamiliar with the Mohegan Sun Casino and Hotel, this is exactly what it's like:



I got my cute little pink and green dress on and everything.

Gotta motor, but don't worry. I'll be back in plenty of time to write my weekly American Idol post. Going to be a hot three-way tonight, babies, with Adam on top!

UPDATED 4:25 P.M.: Well, I still have my shirt, but not much else. I won over $60 on the slots this morning. And was doing really good for a while at blackjack (up over $100 at one point -- not bad for an hour's work). When we broke for lunch at 12 noon, I was even.

Unlike our other forays to the Sun, however, there was no pre-noon drinking -- or afternoon imbibing for that matter. Not sure why. And this afternoon's blackjack table was a DISASTER. G. lost her vig and stopped playing by 1:45. A very bad sign as she almost always brings home a couple hundred or more than she came with.

I still had a pile of chips, so kept playing, and was doing OK until the guy in the Red Sox polo shirt decided to "coach" me. He was technically right re playing the odds, but thanks to his helpful advice about doubling down and splitting, I lost about $80 in five minutes. He felt so bad, he offered me some of his chips, but I said "thanks but no thanks" and walked away.

I found G., who was playing the slots -- and wound up winning another $20 or so. And then we had to dash as it was raining and we had to get our kids from their after-school activities. (Normally G. teaches CCD Tuesday afternoons, good Catholic that she is, but she didn't this afternoon. : )

In total, including lunch, I was down around $80 for the day, but I've lost more -- way more -- and not had nearly so much fun. Until next time...

Monday, May 11, 2009

Henrik Stenson apparently has both the balls AND the wood to win a major

THIS JUST IN: HENRIK STENSON WINS THE PLAYERS -- FULLY CLOTHED!!!

Apparently Henrik Stenson has both the balls and the wood to win a major, as he did, decisively, yesterday (Sunday). With a bogey-free round of six under 66, putting him four shots ahead of the pack, the fully-clothed Stenson won THE PLAYERS Championship, making him the first Swede to do so.

As you all may recall, from the March CA Championship (formerly known as The Doral Open), Stenson stripped down to his skivvies in order not to muddy his clothes after hitting his golf ball into a bog on the 12th -- and scored a three under 69 for the round. However, fully attired, his play suffered. Indeed, despite some masterful strokes at this year's Masters, Stenson quickly faded from the leaderboard.

But now I am happy to say, Mr. Stenson has nicely recovered -- and has an autographed pair of Tiger Woods's Nike compression shorts to boot.

For more about Stenson's win and a brief wrap-up of THE PLAYERS, click here.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Mother's Day Gift Ideas She'll Really Appreciate

Tired of giving mom the same old gifts for Mother's Day? This year, forget the flowers, the picture frames, and the gift cards and try one of these four J-TWO-O approved Mother's Day gifts. (Sorry Mom, I bought your Amazon.com gift card before I wrote this post. Maybe next year.)

First up, from Stupid.com, Understand Your Mother Instantly Breath Spray, a gift both you and your mother will appreciate (or not):

"Sometimes it seems like mothers speak a different language. At any given moment, it's hard to tell what they're saying or what they want. [Ain't that the truth.]

"Well, thanks to modern science and vivid imaginations, you can now instantly understand your Mom. All you need is this Understand Your Mother Instantly Breath Spray!

"Imagine: Your mother is muttering something that sounds like, 'Dear, please wear that blue dress I bought you.' Naturally, this makes no sense to you. But after you take a toke of the Understand Your Mother Spray, you'll realize what Mom just said: 'Dear, put on that dress that makes you seem dumpy and unattractive so I don't have to worry about you getting picked up by some playboy who will probably get you pregnant and leave you stranded in a bus station in Wichita Falls, Texas.'

"How does the spray work? Well, we really don't know. Perhaps the peppermint flavor activates special receptors inside your brain. Or maybe it works because you want it to work. It really doesn't matter... anything that may help you understand your mother is worth a try."
















Next up, how about a personalized video featuring Mom as 2009 Mother of the Year?

Just go to http://news.cnnbcvideo.com/index2.html?p= and enter Mom's name and email address as directed to create your own personal Mother of the Year card, brought to you by Moms Rising: Breadmakers and Breadwinners.

(Btw, if for some reason that first link/URL doesn't work, click on the "Moms Rising" link above and follow the instructions at the top of the MomsRising.org Home page.)

For the mom who is in control, or who'd like to be, I highly recommend the "Control Your Man" talking remote.


















The Control Your Man Remote features 18 sayings including the following:
  • "The Queen speaketh!"
  • "Time to listen!"
  • "What about my needs?"
  • "What were you thinking?"
  • "Whoa, ever hear of foreplay?"
  • "Kiss me, you fool!"
  • "Just tell me you love me!"
  • & more!
Lastly, for the mom who's a real cut-up or likes to cook...

How about a five-piece stainless-steel knife set with unique holder?

Want more unique Mother's Day gift ideas? Check out Baron Bob's.

Wishing all you mothers a very happy Mother's Day...

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Why is the TODAY show so obsessed with sex and violence?

Or maybe I missed the memo about semi-nude photos of semi-celebrities, killer moms, and how to get killer abs being hard-hitting news.

Seriously, what is TODAY's obsession with Miss California, Carrie Prejean? Did you really need to feature her AGAIN, and in the first hour this morning? I know, I know, the possibility of Miss California losing her crown for supposedly setting a bad example for America's young women by posing semi-nude when she was 17 is big news. But if you're going to cover (or uncover) Miss California and pageants in a.m. prime time, what about discussing the bad example the Miss California pageant set by paying for Carrie Prejean to get breast implants weeks before the Miss USA pageant?

And while I applaud TODAY for discussing teen pregnancy, was Bristol Palin really the best you could do? (For more about this, check out Gail Collins's extremely funny Op-Ed, "Bristol Palin's New Gig," in today's NYT.) Btw, TODAY's intro showing a very pregnant Bristol and teens making out with the hard pumping music in the background was totally worthy of E! or Access Hollywood or TMZ. And, oh yeah, I totally agree, Todd Palin is the perfect guy to discuss abstinence and setting a good example. Not. (And speaking of Todd, does Bristol's ex, Levi Johnston, look just like a younger Todd or what?)

And while I could, I won't go into TODAY's incessant coverage of serial killers, killer moms, and how to get killer abs. But what gives? Did corporate send out a memo telling the producers to go out and find the seamiest, silliest, or saddest stories they could or not come back?

I like Meredith Vieira, but I hate how seemingly since her arrival TODAY, which used to be my favorite morning news show, has turned into just another early morning gossip fest -- where even the gossip is stale.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

American Idol rocks out... Plus: I've been tagged by Mattress Police

Another Tuesday night, another hour wasted (?) watching American Idol. Tonight's theme, as you probably guessed from the title of this post, is rock, though it would have been far more interesting/appropriate if the Idol contestants had to sing Latin songs, in honor of Cinco de Mayo. (Let's just hope that despite not having a "proper run through," the performances are not stinkos de mayo.)

Tonight's guest "mentor," Slash (nee Saul Hudson) from Guns N'Roses.

Rock on, Idol dudes!

First up, Adam Lambert, singing Led Zeppelin:

I know you all got a "Whole Lotta Love" for Adam, and it's about effin' time he officially sang some Zeppelin. Except for J-THREE-O freaking out over Adam's hair, which is kinda weird tonight, I quite enjoyed Adam's performance. In a word: BRILLIANT. (You Adam lovers happy now? Good. But wtf is Kara wearing? Simon gonna walk her after the show?)

Next up, Allison Iraheta singing some Janis Joplin:

OMG. Is Allison channeling Elivra?! Seriously, girl, you got amazing pipes, but lousy taste in hair dressers. Fortunately, she is making me "Cry Baby" tears of joy. Another rocktastic performance. (I have no idea what Randy and Kara were talking about. We're voting for Allison.)

And now, Kris Allen and Danny Gokey... together...

and I've got to say, I'm liking this duet thing, though I've always liked "Renegade." Good song choice for these guys. And I'm with Randy that the harmonies were the bomb. But for the record, I thought Danny did a MUCH better job than Kris, who seemed a bit overwhelmed.

Followed by Kris singing solo...

Okay, who wouldn't be intimidated by Slash playing guitar next to him? But oh... my... God. John Lennon must be rolling over in his grave (or weeping in Heaven). That just didn't "Come Together" for me, and I 100% agree with Kara (eek) and Simon (though I like eating ice) that it was not a good performance. Paging Carly Smithson.

Next: Danny sings "Dream On"...

Will he get the scream? Will he? Will he? Feh. To quote the spouse, "This just isn't working for me." Danny just doesn't have the raw sexuality or vocal chords to bring off the Aerosmith classic. And that scream. Ouch. As J-THREE-O noted, "He's going to have laryngitis in the morning." Yup. NEXT.

And we conclude tonight's American Idol with those two hairy canaries, Adam and Allison, singing Fog Hat's "Slow Ride."

Well, at least their hair is coordinated. Not bad. Not bad, dawgs. In fact, I actually thought they sounded pretty good together. And I agree with Randy, they should record a duet together -- and with Simon that Adam may have just saved Allison. I hope so. (Sorry VB, but Kris has got to go.)

Tomorrow on Idol: Chris Daughtry, No Doubt, and... Paula Abdul. Yesssss.

*******
AMERICAN IDOL UPDATE 5/7/09: As many predicted, the red-headed troll doll (aka Allison Iraheta) is gone. I actually thought, based on everyone's performances last night, that she deserved to stay another week, but Kris has the backing of the powerful cougar lobby and was safe -- and I doubt Danny, despite his bad performance, was going to kicked. (No way Adam was going home after rockin' the Zep.)
*******

And on a personal note... On Monday I was tagged by blogger Rob "Diesel" Kroese on his blog, Mattress Police. Diesel, who in addition to running Mattress Police runs the site Humor Blogs and by day develops software for Google, has commented on J-TWO-O a couple of times, so I proposed a link exchange. But, instead of giving me a permanent link, he tagged me, in his "Retarded Meme" post, his ultimate quest to become the number one retarded site on the Internet. *Sigh.*

I have mixed feelings about the words retarded and retard, as they can and are often used in a derogatory (i.e., mean and/or demeaning) fashion. And we all know it's not nice to make fun of people who have disabilities, or, in PC language, are "challenged." That said, I did laugh when I saw this poster:


















Anyway, if I want to get a link on Mattress Police, which, when not being retarded, can be quite funny (and gets a lot of traffic), I need to follow The Rules, which are, and I quote:
1. You must write a post using the word retarded. [Check.] I don't care what it's about -- Joe Biden, teenage boys wearing girls' pants, whatever.
2. The word retarded must be a link to this post. [Check.]
3. You are encouraged to tag five other bloggers -- [that would be you, Betty Cracker, and you, TommyMac, and you, Dave S., and you, Marindenver, and you, Mr. Del Franco] -- to do the same. [Check.]
And with that, I bid you adios amigos.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Really, is anyone suprised...

that professional athletes (cough*Alex Rodriguez*cough) take steroids, even after they've denied it?

when politicians are caught cheating on their wives (cough*Elliot Spitzer*cough*Silvio Berlusconi*cough*John Edwards*cough*Newt Gingrich*cough)? (There are plenty more names I could add to that list, but I barely have breath and Robitussin left as it is.)

to learn that Victoria's Secret models have fake boobs (excuse me, surgically enhanced breasts)?

that the media exaggerates and manipulates the news for ratings (cough*swine flu*cough) or is biased (cough*Fox News*cough)?

that Kirstie Alley gained back all the weight she lost on Jenny Craig -- and swears she will lose it again?

If so, wake up, people! Stop being so naive!

Oh, and have a nice day. : )

Sunday, May 3, 2009

My old Kentucky (Derby) post or What were the odds of that happening?

Actually 50 - 1. Those were the odds on horse No. 8, Mine That Bird, in yesterday's 135th running of the Kentucky Derby. The horse, ridden by jockey Calvin "Bo-Rail" Borel, came from behind, along the inner rail, to win the Derby by 6 3/4 lengths, the second biggest upset in Derby history.

In case you missed it (which, at just over 2 minutes, was easy to do), here's a clip of the amazing race:

Btw, had you placed a $2 bet on the three-year-old colt, whose name is being to changed to Mine That Gold, you would have won $103.20. And had you placed $2 on the 2009 Kentucky Derby Trifecta of 8-16-2, you would have been paid $41,500.60. That same $2 on the Superfecta of 8-16-2-7? A whopping $557,006.40.

Hmmm... Maybe I should horse around more often.

UPDATED: If you like horse racing, or just horses, or just a really great inspirational story, read Seabiscuit: An American Legend. Forget the movie. Just read the book. One of the best I've ever read, and that's saying a lot, especially as I am not a horsewoman (though I've been known to get a little hoarse from screaming at sporting events).

Friday, May 1, 2009

Nice pair (plus an "amazing" short video)
















Photo (c) J-TWO-O
Don't they look luscious? Mm mm.

What? You were expecting something else?

Well, I promised you something "amazing," and here it is: a clip I happened upon this week of my new favorite comedian, Louis C. K., on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, talking about how everything is amazing (i.e., we have all this great technology that was invented to make our lives easier and better, which didn't or barely existed not that long ago), yet no one seems happy.



Btw, if you liked this clip and want to see more, go to YouTube and do a search for "Louis C. K."

I will now, in honor of May Day, dance around a pole and worship Flora.